One Half Orphan

This is a time of tests and the trying of my faith.

I pray I do not fail.

I feel adrift - set away from solidity
And the thick comfort of complete ... entirety.

It is odd and awkward in my skin.
It is thin and cool and uncomfortable.
It is bare and boney and beautiful, somehow.

I am no longer all that I was.
I am half an orphan.
That is a sad thing to say.
It is sadder still to write, then read it.

I am not a child and yet I still need my mother.

That is no longer an option.

I have a mother; yet, I have her no more.

No longer do I call my mother with news and funny stories.
No longer is she there.

It is a very sad thing to say, "I no longer have a mother."

I say it everyday.