Math Class: Kiwi

Kiwi’s heavy head fell again off of her supporting hand, which had apparently fallen asleep also. She awoke with a start and looked around. Her same, old, boring class was still its same, old, boring self, engrossed in the teacher’s determined lecture of something Kiwi hadn’t caught earlier. Kiwi sighed and glanced down at her desk.
Her math text book lay open to page 198 on the section of exponents and powers of 10. This class is like so much fun, Kiwi thought to herself sarcastically.
“Ms. Plum, would you like to join in on our class for once? Or would you like to have a very nice chat with Mr. Owosso instead?” the teacher, whom Kiwi couldn’t remember her name, said, more as a statement than a question.
Kiwi rubbed her forehead and tried to look sick. She did want to leave this class, but surely not in the direction of Mr. Owosso’s office. Mr. Owosso was the head principal of Maui GS (or least commonly known as Maui Grade Systems). He was like all other head officers on our small island. He had a pretty much all bald head, except for one or two little grayish-brown hairs sticking up right above his left ear. Kiwi had observed that the last time she had been in his office for falling asleep in class, particularly Mrs. Keenan’s class. Oh, that’s her name, thought Kiwi, suddenly remembering the arithmetic teacher’s name.
Shrugging her shoulders and massaging her temples at the same time, Kiwi replied, “No, Mrs. Keenan. I would rather take part in class.”
Mrs. Keenan stared at Kiwi suspiciously and then added, “Or do you need to take a trip to Nurse Sari’s instead?” Kiwi grinned mischievously under her fake frown. She pretended to ponder this option for awhile, and then finally settled on a small, humble sick puppy nod and sniffle. Mrs. Keenan rolled her eyes and whipped a white small tab of paper from her desk in the corner and grabbed a pen. Kiwi shuffled up to her in the front of the class and saw classmates glaring at her heatedly. She mentally shrugged off the guilt and strode out of the stuffy room with the pass tucked tenderly in her palm.
She couldn’t have gone more than two steps when her head bumped into a quite large object in her way. She looked up, and was quite shocked to see Mr. Owosso standing in front of her, peering down at her through large spectacles on his speckled nose.
“Mr. Owosso.”
“Kiwi Plum.”
“Mr. Owosso.”
“Your pass.”
“Mr. Owo-…oh.” Kiwi hurriedly shoved her clenched hand towards the boulder in front of her. He grabbed the piece of paper from her and his narrowed eyes scanned it. Her looked up at her and seemed to scan her face. He looked back down at the paper.
He finally handed it back to her with a grunt. “Thank you,” she murmured, tucking the sacred paper in her skirt collar.
“You have 2 minutes to get down there,” he growled, shoveling past her with another grunt.
Kiwi watched angrily as her waddled down the hallway, glancing every which-way to make sure no kid was just waiting to be buried in lectures.
She finally snapped back and hurried down the other hall and skidded into a small office filled with clocks with birds chirping on them every 2 seconds. She quickly held up the pass to the old lady with red glasses sitting at the front desk. She leapt through the blue door to her left and closed it quickly behind her.
“Kiwi.”
“Nurse Sari.”
“Are you feeling alright, Coconut?”
Taken aback by her new nickname, Kiwi finally found the words. “I...I, well, I have a sort of headache.”
Nurse Sari studied Kiwi from the dim light in her small cubicle of an office.
Kiwi said, “It’s like in my head, sort of.” Her hand flew to her mouth and was mad at herself for being so stupid and dim-witted.
Nurse Sari seemed to be amused. “Wow, sounds rare.” Kiwi forced a smile. “Well, let's take your temperature.” She took a small thermometer and gently placed it under Kiwi’s tongue. After a few moments, it beeped and Nurse Sari took it out and examined it. “Hmm…well, it seems pretty normal. 97.2.” She placed a cool hand on her forehead and sighed. “Well, you can stay on the cot for the rest of the period, and then you can go back to class. Would you like to try that, Coconut?”
Kiwi smiled and nodded, almost too eagerly.
Nurse Sari chuckled and placed a blanket on a nearby cot in the corner. She retrieved a small, blue pillow and put it under Kiwi’s head.
Kiwi rolled into a tight ball, suddenly feeling an actual small ache in her head, right around her jaw. She rubbed at it furiously, and then fell into a light sleep, snoring like a grandpa, as Nurse Sari recalled later that day.

Kiwi awoke and found herself alone in the room. She looked around lazily and grinned to herself at the empty room surrounding her. She hopped off the creaky cot and tip-toed across the room to a small bathroom with a wash basin and toilet. She closed the door behind her and stared into the smudged mirror in front of her. She squinted at her reflection and crinkled her nose. She splashed her face with cold water and shook her head. Her eyes suddenly became aware of her situation and she got very excited. She glanced quickly over her shoulder and back at the mirror. She grinned.
Pranks were her specialty. Whenever the chance, she was at the scene. For as long as she can remember, she never went a week in Maui GS without pulling a clever, well-though out, trouble-making trick on someone in the building, whether a student or a cook. But she had never had the chance to pull a prank on Nurse Sari. What a coincidence, Kiwi though sheepishly to herself.
Kiwi peered into the heavily lavender-scented toilet and the corners of her mouth turned up in disgust. She decided to leave that prank to another victim.
Back in the office of Nurse Sari, Kiwi looked around the room anxiously. Scattered pieces of paper cluttered the desk, yellow Stick-It posts lined the cabinets clumsily. Kiwi walked over to the desk, examining every little inch that could be prank territory. She was about to give up when a piece of paper under a heavy manilla file caught her eye.
Looking at it more carefully, Kiwi found out it was the directions to setting her "High-Tech, Well-Proven Thermometer". Just the thing, Kiwi knew. She searched through Nurse Sari's desks filled with pens and pencils, tablets, and letters. She finally found the little thermometer in the back drawer and took it out slowly. Grabbing the directions and the thermometer, she headed back towards the cot. Glancing at the clock, Kiwi sensed the bell was going to ring in the room next to her by the secretary in about 5 minutes. She quickened her pace.
Kiwi wasn't an Einstein on mechanics or reading instructions, but she made the most of it and in about 3 minutes, the thermometer was settled on a new range of temperatures, something totally different than Fereinheit, Kiwi knew that much.
She hopped up and placed it on Nurse Sari's desk quickly, lined up next to a black fountain pen. She heard light footsteps and voices from the front lobby and quickly jumped back on the cot. Kiwi covered herself with the thin blanket and started to snore.
Someone entered the room and shook Kiwi gently. "Coconut, the bell's about to ring. Are you feeling better?" Nurse Sari's sweet voice rang.
Kiwi lifted her head, of course sleepily, and squinted at the thin figure hovering over her.
She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Yeah. Can I just wait till the bell rings?" she asked, innocently.
"Of course. I'll just write you a pass when you're ready, Coconut. No rush." Kiwi nodded kindly and couldn't help grinning mischieviously.
Nurse Sari had just sat down at her desk when a little kid about half of Kiwi's size wobbled in the room, tears brimming at the edge of her big, puffy blue eyes.
Nurse Sari jumped up and instantly cradled the little thing, asking her sweetly what the matter was.
"I..I..I don't feel good!" the little girl wailed, flinging her arms around Nurse Sari. She rubbed her eyes, making the tears fly in all different angles. Kiwi watched curiously, never blinking.
"Just sit down right next to Kiwi, Flower, and I'll take your tempie." The little girl eyed Kiwi nervously and reluctantly sat at the end of the cot, farthest from her.
Nurse Sari took the thermometer, staring at it oddly. "Hmm, I don't remember placing this here." She shrugged and walked towards the girl. She stuck it under her tongue between sniffles and waited. It finally beeped and she took it out.
Kiwi held her breath. Nurse Sari looked at it. Then she rubbed her temples. Then she looked at it again. She stared at it, the corner of her mouth twitching slightly. She finally seemed to grasp reality and nervously placed the thermometer down on her desk. Then things seemed to fly.
"Oh my, oh my." Nurse Sari was muttering nonsense to herself as she grabbed the girl's hand and took her to her desk, feeling her forehead with a tint of viciousness to it. Then her eyes seemed to click, and they seemed to wander straight into Kiwi's. Kiwi gulped.
Nurse Sari studied Kiwi for about 30 seconds, then she shook her head slowly, as in disappointment. She calmed the little girl, who was sobbing again, and laid her down in Kiwi's spot on the cot as Kiwi stood up and started for the door quickly.
"Kiwi," Nurse Sari countered, a hint of warning in her voice. Kiwi turned around and her eyes darted around the room before unwillingly settled into Nurse Sari's icy glare.
"Nurse Sari," Kiwi said, more as a squeak.
Nurse Sari remained silent, locking eyes with Kiwi. Then she started to smile, but stopped at a half-grin, her eyes more as a smile. She chuckled and said, "Kiwi Plum. Of course," under her breath, but loud enough for Kiwi to register that she was still a living legend in Maui GS.