I get joy from nothing now

Foolish dreams, we all seem to have them, some people more than others. Conquering the piano was my foolish dream. I have never set out to do such an immensely difficult venture before in my life, and I do not take it lightly. The piano is the only thing I love, and I still, still can't get a job doing what I love to do. I'll never be good enough at the piano regardless of how many hours I put into the instrument, it simply will not happen. I compare myself to the masters, and reaching mastery of this instrument is something that so few can achieve. The instrument has struck me down with so much force, so many times, and I cannot win. I will lose my mind before I reach mastery.

I get joy from nothing now, and as I watch my life gently wither away underneath the grandest of storms, I have little left to say. I speak of passive resignation to an ultimate challenge, and I really did put forth my best effort. The ups and downs are both terrible, and I wish only to feel nothing.