Liberation

Feeling shit,
want to cry,
want to lie down
and bleed to death.
Lovin u but hating you.
Wondering whether you’re out with another girl in your arms,
kissing your lips,
knowing it should be me.
My body aching with a thousand knife wounds coz I need u,
but ma mind pushing u out tryin to move on.
But I love u so much that my eyes hurt wen I look at others,
my skin itched wen they all too close.
Always talkin bout you, thinking bout you, dreaming bout you.
I can’t get u outa ma head.
Got my people on ma back sayin I cud do beta,
that u treat me wrong,
that no guy should ignore his gal.
My outer-self knowing this is true but still pushing it deep down hiding behind a wall straight in denial. Can’t see past the gates of love u set upon me.
Love shouldn’t be so scary and so strong.
Praying to god that u cum home to me so we can be normal,
praying for u 2 love me like I u and treat me like a person not an idea.
Ideas can be changed and I don’t wna but im getting lost in myself wen im thinking about u.
so deep in denial that I may never return to the surface.
Right now im choking.
Blocked airways like my life.
An obstacle between life and me depriving me of oxygen.
liberate me, put me out of my misery or let me go.
Anything to stop this tortuous relationship from ruining me.
Because it hurts more being with you then it would have without.
Give me my oxygen.
Refill my veins with your essence or starve me completely and let me die.
Either way, spell bound or plain stupidity,
release me.