behind the smile....

Aint nothing in this world that can explain this torture,
I’m holding the knife above my wrists which im about to slaughter,
The pain runs up my arms,
Leaving me tingling enough to break bones,
Knowing once again tomorrow that im gna be all alone.
No one sees the darkness behind the iris in my eyes,
No one shares the tears that I always seem to cry
No one knows the emptiness that i feel inside
And no one has feelings this strong to jus fade out n die.
To silence myself forever is the strongest emotion i own,
Happiness and harmony by hatred overthrown
Anger at the people that holding grudges, spreading lies
Anger at the people making wasps and hornets out of flies.
Sharing this anger with my memories and past,
Making connections with myself that never seem to last.
Holding onto this emotion, coz it’s the only one I know,
Nasty past, dysfunctional present and the futures got to show.
Letting guys fuck me senseless to do something with the time,
But memory and feelings, the alcohols sublimed.