A perfect Christmas

Emma Fairbanks sat quietly on the chaise lounge that was tucked in the farthest corner of the now busy drawing room. She pleated her skirts in nervousness, it was a habit that her mother abhorred but Emma just couldn’t control her hands. How she hated large crowds, even if she knew each and every person in the room. It was just too many people for her; everyone blamed it on her “nervous nature”. The room was filled with family and close friends of her parents, including the Culbridges. They were basically just part of the family, they had always been invited to every activity that her family had participated in or gave and vice versa. Her older brother Connor had been best friends with the Culbridges eldest son, Jon since boyhood. In actuality, Jon had been one of Emma’s best friends as well. She had always been Connors shadow and so she had been welcomed into their fold of friendship willingly. Looking around the room she noted that both of the men hadn’t arrived yet. She glanced up at the mantle clock and saw that it read half past eight. What had been keeping them? Surely they would be here for this Christmas. Both of their mothers had sent messages to them stating, not asking, that they would be coming to spend Christmas and they should show themselves by the day before Christmas Eve. They must have understood that this was suppose to be a special Christmas for the family, they would come, Emma just hoped it would be soon. Both of the women had been busy planning this celebration for months. They had their grand idea of a full reunion of both families, each and every member coming for the festivities. It had been such a long time since all the family had been home at once. Usually it was just a few pairs to visit and then a different set at new years. They knew that it would be a difficult feat to gather the family for it was scattered all over the land. Her oldest sister lived in Scotland, another elder sister and two older brothers lived in the Hertfordshire area on adjoining estates, and of course Connor resided in London enjoying the ton. Jon also had a townhouse in London as well but he resided mainly in his country estate. The Cullbridges had the same problem as Emma’s family, with family scattered as well. But “The Mothers”, as Emma and Connor lovingly called them, were determined to gather them all together this year. They were all to stay past new years and so far all had come as they had been bidden, everyone except Connor and Jon.

She hoped they would come soon; she was not good at these types of gatherings without them. She was most herself among her brother and closest friend. Emma was the youngest of five children and by far the most timid and shy had been loved and doted on by one and all in her family. They had put a protective bubble around her in her childhood, knowing she painfully timid; it had not aided her as she had grown older though. She had been given three seasons in London; three times she came back to the country unwed. Her father had outwardly despaired that she would have the courage to speak to a man let alone accept an offered proposal. Though he had put a loving arm around her and told her that he would miss her quiet ways if she would leave them. Her mother had been kind and understanding, but Emma knew that she had disappointed and Emma knew that she had given up on her youngest finding a husband. Both of her parents didn’t seem to overly mind having her with them though. During her three horrible seasons she mainly hugged the outskirts of the walls and made herself as invisible as she could, often finding ways to wind up in places where it was empty of other people and quiet. Her mother found her countless times curled up in a room reading a book instead of out dancing or enjoying the parties and fetes that they were at. The few times she had enjoyed herself had been when she was in the company of Connor or Jon. Jon was one of the few that managed to get her to dance, even the waltz’s. Of course she had been flushed with embarrassment but she had enjoyed herself immensely. She was most herself with Jon than any other man of her acquaintance excluding Connor. Even her brothers and father she at times was shy with.

She sighed inwardly and rose to stand by the French doors that emptied out into the now white garden and leveled her large amber eyes on the scene in front of her. A faint smile touched her lips as she gazed at the snow that came down softly through the dark evening sky. It left everything looking magical as it glistened in the moonlight. It had been a wonderful sight indeed and The Mothers had been over the moon that their Christmas activities would be white with snow. They had smiled and said that it was going to be perfect! Emma let out another small sigh from her small lips, she hoped it would be perfect for them, they had looked forward to for such a long time now. She herself had secretly looked forward to being with her boon companions of her childhood. She new it would be the perfect Christmas.

“May I present the young Mr. Fairbanks and the Earl of Mothrey.” their butler Wilfred announced to crowed room.

Connor and Jon entered and the Mothers exclaimed over them and admonished them for being so late with large smiles on their happy faces. Emma came around behind Connor and grabbed his hand. She gently tugged and squeezed it impatiently. He squeezed it in return knowing who was clutching his large hand and turned around to scoop her into his arms.

“My little Miss Emma how is my sweetest sister!” He kissed her cheek soundly and swung her around. She blushed but giggled sweetly.

“You horrid man! You are late! You had me worried I was to do this without you! You too Jon!” She wriggled out of Connors hold and held her hands expectantly toward Jon. Emma had noticeably become more comfortable and everyone noted how beautiful she was with her eyes bright with happiness. The Mothers gave each other a knowing look and their eyes had a glint of mischief, as if they had a secret of some sort between them. Of course Emma hadn’t noticed this because of the excitement of the men’s arrival.

Jon grasped the slight hands in a warm and gently grip. He smiled down at the beautiful woman that stood before him. “Now Emma, it is not my fault that we are so late, you can blame your charming brother for the delay, and the snow did not help the cause either.” Emma laughed up and him as she snaked her arm through his. He thought that she looked so enchanting this evening with her eyes laughing with happiness, perhaps he thought, his plans would work. He hoped inwardly that it would turn out the way he wanted, a man had only certain amount of patience and his was thinning.

He had tried to hurry Connor on his way but his friend was dragging his feet. Apparently he had a tender for a new ton miss. He had many times before of course but Jon sensed that this was much more serious. He finally had to force Connor yesterday to accompany him. It wasn’t as if Connor didn’t’ love his family, he just didn’t love the country, he thought it was a bore, no contest with the excitement that London had to offer. Jon disagreed wholeheartedly, he had a country estate where he spent most of his time, and only on occasion did he travel to London. Most of those times had been when the sweet lady on his arm had been there. He had finally persuaded Connor by using Emma as a pawn, he had laid the guilt on so thick that Connor felt shamed and started to pack his bags immediately. He knew how much Jon was in love with his beloved sister and had since they had been children. He had been more than happy and would try to help his friend out, as much as he could. He also couldn’t leave his dear little Emma alone, him knowing of how uncomfortable she would be amidst all the festivities. No, Connor had no choice but to follow Jon to the country for Christmas.

Jon had great plans for this Christmas, in truth he had been apart of the plans The Mothers had been making. After years of trying to make Emma open her eyes and heart he hadn’t penetrated the shroud that named him her friend. He had come to The Mothers out of desperation in hopes that they could help. He worried what they would think of him pursuing her but had been pleasantly surprised at the women’s knowledge of his feelings. If they could see it, why was Emma so blind to him? So, The Mothers put their heads together and planned it all out. Poor Emma had quite a shock coming, he let his gaze roam over her excited face, she had know idea that her world was going to be shaken, hopefully it would make her realize him as a man and not a just a friend at last, a man could hope at any rate.

Emma’s maid had helped her out her gown and she had her nightclothes on, ready for bed, but she was a bundle of nerves still. She dismissed Maggie with a kind smile and as soon as the maid walked shut the door Emma put her dressing robe and slippers on. She slipped an errant strand of dark brown hair behind her ear and walked over to the corner of the room that held a large window and a soft chair. Maybe Connor would like to talk with her, she hadn’t had a chance to talk really since it was so chaotic with activity after he arrived. She smiled at the knowledge that he and Jon were home, it was going to be a wonderful Christmas, she was sure of it. She had been on Jon’s arm all evening and loved every minute of it. Once or twice though she had caught gazing down at her with a strange look in his eyes, it had made her heart beat wildly. She wasn’t sure what made her have that strange feeling, she might talk to Connor about it. He knew more about things like that. Her fingers knowingly felt for the small secret button in the form of a knothole on the window frame. She had discovered it when she had been quite a bit younger and the excitement at having a secret passage had been thrilling. The door popped out and she grabbed a candle to help her see into the darkness. The passage twisted and curved and she opened the door that was in front of her presently and the candlelight spilled into a small cozy room. Her father’s house held many secret passages that her brother and Jon had found during the dull and cold winter months, but this had been their favorite one. It was their secret hideaway as children. It had four passageways that came into it; one of them had been a passageway that went to her brother’s room. The others went to various guest chambers throughout the house. She asked her father once why there would be secret rooms and passageways and he had gone red in the face and he said he had no idea. Of course she being older, supposed now that maybe the person who had built this manor had been, well maybe not a very good sort of gentleman and indulged unspeakable activities.

She smiled as she saw more than her candlelight had lit the room. There was a fire in the small fireplace and a candlestick on the mantle. She assumed that Connor had figured she would like a cozy chat like when they were children.

“Connor, how did you know that I would come you dear?”

A well known voice, but not of her brothers, spoke with amusement, “How could I ever have doubted that you would not come to our childhood haunt!” Jon’s voice held a warmth that Emma had loved since childhood, it was much deeper now but it was such a comfort. She shivered at the sound of it.

“Oh Jon! Don’t look, I am in my dressing gown!” Emma darted behind another overstuffed chair in embarrassment.

“Emma, how long have we known each other? If you remember I have seen you many times in your dressing gown, in this very room in fact. I have even seen your bare legs when we used to climb trees if I need to remind you. You are quite safe with me.” He was laughing heartily now, if she only knew how he really felt she would feel very shy indeed.

She laughed and came from behind the chair to the front of it to sit.

“I suppose you are right. May I sit here with you?” She was already in the process doing just that while she was asking.

“Of course, I had hoped you would come. I don’t know about you but I am not tired in the least bit. There has been too much excitement this evening to even think about sleeping. I hoped that you would like a nice talk” His voice held a sweet warmth that lulled Emma into a delightful feeling. She looked at him casually with a smile formed on her lips, when she saw him by the fire watching her she saw something in his eyes that made her heart flutter. Her smile faltered and she looked quickly away. Her heart began to ache as she finally discovered that Jon was not just her friend. Jon was the man that she loved, and had for a long time. She had known him for much of her life, they had been around each other constantly until he left for school, and now all of sudden her view of him seemed change. She hadn’t felt it before, why now? She desperately tried to pull herself together and put herself to rights. This was Jon for heavens sakes, her closest friend; there is no need to feel uncomfortable and shy with him. It’s not as if he knew what her thoughts were just now. She had to act normal, as if nothing had changed in that moment of her new found discovery.

Jon had seen it, his smile widened, finally he thought, she finally is seeing me. He didn’t care anymore how long it had taken or why this night the veil had lifted from her eyes. He was just thankful that it had happened finally. How fortunate he thought that it happened this night, his plans would go very smoothly now. If he could get her to just admit her feelings to him. If not tonight, he still had tomorrow.

Emma pretended a cough trying to feel more in control of herself. She thought to break the silence with questions, hoping he would not notice her unease. “How is your estate doing? Have you been to London? Do you still have old shep? He is such a nice dog; he must be a hundred years old though now. Are you still…” she babbled on as Jon listened without saying a word or answer to a question. He simply let her continue on her babbling nonsense for a bit. He was trying not to burst out laughing or hauling her into his arms. She was, he thought, the most adorable, beautiful and at the moment, the most flustered woman he had ever known.

“Emma” was spoken so quietly and calmly that she stopped in mid word. She jerked her head up from where she was speaking to his vest and stared at him.

“Emma, there is something different isn’t there?” He spoke with a casual calm and the corner of his mouth twitched with a smile that was threatening to escape.

Emma had never felt so confused, feelings were swamping her and she couldn’t keep her lip from trembling. Her eyes filled with tears, the only way her body seemed to relieve the emotions that she was swimming in.

“Oh Jon!” she cried.

It took him no longer than an instant to jump from his chair to her and wrap her in his arms. He kissed the top of her head gently and whispered gentle words into her hair. He buried his hands in her hair and tilted her face up his. He kissed her tears away softly and looked into eyes, swimming in the amber depths he knew so well.

“Emma, hush my love, it will be fine. Do not be frightened. I am right here. Shhh….” He rocked her gently as he continued to calm her fears and feelings that were running rampant through her. Emma sobbed into his chest, fighting the feelings that had taken hold of her. She felt anguish at the feeling of losing her childhood friend, she felt undone at the change of her heart towards him, she felt excitement at being held in his arms. She felt scared at letting herself love. But most of all she felt a love from Jon and a love for Jon she had never experienced, and at the moment she had that revelation her sobs started to subside.

Jon gently put his arms behind her knees and lifter her to his chest. He stepped back the short distance and sat down in the chair he had previously been sitting in. He settled her to his chest and rubbed her back with a gentleness that stilled her small hiccups of tears. Emma relaxed in his arms and fiddled with the buttons of his vest. No words were spoken for quite awhile; both of them were lost in contented thoughts of love. Jon had waited so long for this; he had wanted her in his arms like for years. This is where she belonged; he instinctively tightened his arms around her and heard a small sigh come from the woman he loved.

Emma’s small voice pierced the quietness of the room. “Jon?” she asked shyly.

“Yes my love” Jon lifted her face and kissed her lips lightly.

“How long have you known?”

“Known I loved you my sweet?” He smiled warmly and his eyes danced.

“Yes, how long have you waited for me to see?” A single tear rolled down her cheek and he caught it with his lips.

He caught the wet drop with his thumb and wiped it away. “From the moment I saw you. You were six and I was ten. When have you ever heard of twelve-year-old boy allowing his friends baby sister tag along everywhere they went willingly? I knew you would be mine someday. I loved you then and as you grew I loved you more. I was frightened I was going to be your friend forever you know.” He chuckled and kissed her lips again.

Emma’s heart skipped as his lips touched her softly. Her whole body tingled with feelings and an excitement she had never felt before. She shyly brought her hands up to his face. Her fingers moved over inch lovingly, as if she was discovering something that she had never seen before.

“I am so sorry Jon, that I have been blind. I am sorry you waited for me so long.” Sadness filled her eyes. “ I am so sorry”

“Emma,” Jon spoke firmly, “If I had to wait forever for you I would have. Do not feel sorry for something that you couldn’t control. I knew that you loved me, in fact everyone has known if for sometime. You just needed to find out for yourself.”

“Everyone has known? Are you serious? Then why was I made to go through seasons?”

“My dearest, they wanted you to have a chance to make up your own mind. They gave you every opportunity to make your own choice. They saw though, that the only time that you showed your true self was when I was with you. As did I, I wasn’t worried. You may have not known your heart, but your heart knew you.” He gazed down at the woman he loved more than life and couldn’t help but relish in his good fortune.

“Emma?”

“Yes Jon?”
“I love you.” His voice cracked under the strong emotion that he held at bay through all the years of waiting.

“I love you too Jon.”

He gathered her closer in his arms and kissed her with all the passion he had. They lost track of time until they heard a clock chime four bells. Emma laid her head down contentedly on his broad shoulder. He absentmindedly stroked her dark tresses.

“I want you to be my wife, will you marry me my darling?”

“Oh Jon of course! That would make me the happiest I could ever be!”

He kissed her for her answer and smiled wickedly. “Good. We will marry soon. What do you think about Christmas day?”

“What? There is no chance of being able to get married so soon!” Her eyes were wide in shock.

“Yes there is. I had a special license drawn up in London. Why do you think our mothers planned for everyone to be here this year! I informed them that one way or other, this Christmas I was going to wed you!”

“You were very sure of yourself! What if I hadn’t come tonight? What if I was still a blind fool?”

“My dear, there was a whole other day in which to make you see that you loved me! You very well know that when I put my mind too something get it in the end. But if you hadn’t nothing would have been lost, only our families new. My pride might have been
wounded a little but that would have been all. I did have every confidence that it would work though. Now what about Christmas day? Will you marry me the day after tomorrow?” He grinned down at her and kissed her breathless before she could answer.

“I would marry you in an hour if you would like! What am I to wear? Oh my, it so soon.” She saw the look in his eye and blushed enchantingly.

“Not soon enough.” He voiced in a growl and held her tighter to his chest.

She flushed more and he bent his head down to her lips once again, so she knew exactly what he meant.
They sat there for a little while sharing the joy of their new love when Jon lifted his head and grinned at her well kissed lips and stars in that danced in her eyes. He knew that he had put them there and he felt a surge of happiness run through his heart. He chuckled as she tried to stifle a yawn. She rested her head on his chest, and he had to admit that she was a perfect fit. She felt so right as she lay in his arms. They sat like that for a few quiet moments before he put his hand under her chin raising her face so that he might see her.

“I think that I need to send you to bed, you need your rest, for we are to marry in a day my love.” He kissed the tip of her nose and stood up with her in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled closer to him. Sighing contently like a woman who had everything she ever wanted. Jon walked though the passage to her room and laid her gently on the bed, covered her with the coverlet and pressed his lips to hers softly.

“Sweet dreams my darling” he slowly walked to the passageway and as he started to walk through the door way he heard her quiet voice whisper through the dark.

“I love you Jon.”

“And I you Emma.” He closed the passage door and disappeared.

The next morning Jon had met her at the bottom of the stairs and as she put her foot on the last tread he took her in his arms in an embrace. The Mothers walked into the foyer and let out claps of joy.

“Oh wonderful Jon, just wonderful!” His mother elatedly spoke.

“Yes this is wonderful! I will send a message to the vicar that the wedding is on.” Emma’s mother stated in an excited voice. Both women were smiling ear to ear as Emma looked up to them. She was blushing most becomingly and smiled shyly at both of the women.

“Mother, I don’t have anything to wear! You little sneak, you knew all along without telling me! Shame on you!” Emma lovingly admonished her parent.

“My dear, I have had a wedding dress made months ago for this very day. Everything has been set in order. Do not worry, just enjoy yourself my dear.”

Emma’s mother walked over to the couple and pecked Emma’s check with maternal love. “And you my dear boy, come and give your soon-to-mother in law a kiss!” She held her cheek out for his kiss with an amused air.

The women walked off with plans being spoken out loud in excitement.

“I think that they approve my darling.” Jon smiled down at her and brushed his lips against hers gently. “We will announce our engagement at breakfast. I am afraid that it won’t be much of a surprise to them though!” He laughed then and swung her around the foyer her giggles answering his hearty laugh.

The family hadn’t been surprised at the announcement but they were elated all the same. Her father gave her a hug and kisses and slapped Jon’s back in a friendly manner. Connor had congratulated them stating to Jon that it was about time. He hugged his beloved sister tightly and whispered gently that he couldn’t be happier with Emma falling in love with Jon she blushed but hugged him back and agreed with him.

Their wedding was an emotional affair for the couple and their family. Emma walked down the aisle of the small stone church on her fathers arm. She wore a white satin dress that had seed pearls sewn everywhere. Her mother gave her the pearls her father had given to her mom on their wedding day. Both women wept a few tears of happiness. The church was filled with family of who were smilingly adoringly at the happy couple. Her father gruffly whispered he loved her and handed her to Jon waiting for them. Connor stood up for his friend and smiled at his sister. Jon kissed her cheek as she put small hand into his at the alter his eyes glittered with emotion as she looked up at him. He saw that she too had tears in her eyes as well. The vicar went through the service with the appropriate questions and they gave the appropriate answers. The bells rang loudly as they walked down the aisle arm in arm as husband and wife. It was as Emma had thought it was going to be, it was the perfect Christmas.