My life this past year

I'm building up a wall,
I'm creating a disguise,
I need to stand tall,
I need to muffle my cries.

It has been a long year,
I've been constantly lying,
For it's been caused by fear,
Inside I've been dying.

Nowhere to turn,
No one who can assist,
I can not return,
I might as well cease to exist.

I alone determine my fate,
for the disguise that I wear,
it is impeccably great,
it hides my despair.