Dear X

Dear Bill,

I’m writing this because it makes me feel better.

I’m going to tell you a story. It can be fiction if you want it to be.

There once was a woman who wanted to be secure, and safe and happy. She knew she could be secure, safe and happy by herself, but she wanted to share her life with a kind man. She found a man who loved her and she felt very secure, safe and happy. She wanted to live the rest of her life with this man who made her laugh. They would share adventures, they would enjoy each other’s families, and they would party with their friends and have fun. She trusted this man with her life. She would have done anything to make this man happy and to continue to feel secure, safe and happy. She would send her children to live with their father. She would break a lease in an apartment to live with him even if it were to damage her credit. She would break a lease on a vehicle, and agree to drive a vehicle that he wanted to be happy. She would sell her beloved motorcycle, which was the only one thing she had selfishly bought for herself. She would buy a lake house; she would buy a boat even if it meant that she would have no money for herself, or her children.

The woman and her man would work hard together to buy their dream house. They would both sacrifice financially to buy the house and fill it with beautiful things. She would spend hours researching and predicting the increase in value of the house, they were very happy they had made a good investment.

Then one-day things would begin to change. The women began to feel, as if in order to be secure, safe, and happy she would have to make more sacrifices. She would have to stop going on adventures, partying with friends. She would have to spend time with only his family, but not hers. Then she learned she could not feel secure because in order to live in the beautiful house and enjoy beautiful things, she would have to see things the way the man saw things. He no longer wanted to go on adventures, and party with friends, her family was no longer welcome.

He enjoyed staying at home. But she felt life was too short to stay at home. She respected his wishes and tried to live life the way he wanted but she became unhappy. When she wanted him to respect the way she wanted to live, he became angry and critical. If the woman wanted to spend time with her friends or her family, things became difficult. The woman began to worry that if she wanted to be happy, safe, and secure, she may have to sacrifice more.

Eventually the man became worried. He worried so much that it became difficult for the woman to calm his fears. One day in an argument, he demanded in anger that the women leave their dream house and all their beautiful things. The women began to make plans to leave. After much thought the man apologized and asked the women to stay and try to work it out. Except it was the women who had to stop complaining and cope with the way of life the man wanted to live. The woman told the man that she had to feel secure in the relationship, if the man ever threatened that security again by telling her to move, she would have to end the relationship.

The man loved the woman, so he put forth an effort to make things ok. He helped the woman buy a new motorcycle to replace the one she sacrificed, he even took out a loan in his name to help the woman, because she had scarified her good credit to live with him to be happy with him. But alas the woman still did not feel secure. She woke up one day and realized that after all her sacrifice her beautiful home and the beautiful contents were only available to her because the man let her, she had no control. The house and all of its beautiful things were in his name legally, and she was not married to him and she was not safe, and not secure, this made her unhappy. She still wanted to be married to the man to be safe, secure and happy. He refused, because he was worried. He was worried because the woman had ruined her good credit, and he was afraid that his credit might be damaged. He was worried that the woman would take half of his beautiful house, and half of the beautiful things if she became too unhappy to stay. She wanted to stay, but she didn’t feel safe and secure anymore. The man and the woman began to argue more and more. The woman wanted more control of her life. This worried the man more. The man began to get angry and wanted to hurt the woman for making him worry. The man threatened to sell the new motorcycle, and this worried the woman. The man had legal control over everything. She knew he would keep it all. She took the motorcycle and kept it at a friend’s house until she felt safe and secure. He became enraged, and screamed at her to get out of the beautiful house. She did.

The man kept the house, and the beautiful things and did not share, because he truly believed that he was the only one who sacrificed, and he was the only one who deserved it. The rest of the story became so ugly, that the women tried to put it out of her head. She decided that it would be better to just move on with her life and try to forgive the man. The woman replaced all the material things that she had had before, but she never replaced the ability to trust or love. The man eventually got over his anger, but it was replaced with guilt of the punishment he gave the woman for leaving. Although the man was to live the rest of his life alone, the house was a very good investment, and the money he earned for his pain was all worth it in the end. He lived happily ever after. The woman, she lived happily ever after too.

The end.