Again

It’s at night, it’s always at night when the thoughts come.
  thoughts of you to haunt me
  remind me of how you broke my heart.
The thoughts, it’s the thoughts again
They always come at night
Paralyzed with grief
  the fear
  the anger
They always come at night
Here they come again
Here they are again
Here to torment me again
Frozen
Gasping for breath
Sobbing in agony
As tears roll down my cheeks
  and onto the pillow
Screaming in agony
Doubled over clutching my heart.
The thoughts, they’re here again
Screaming in agony again
  piercing the soul again
  breaking my heart again
  breaking my heart
I can hear it breaking
I can feel it shattering in my chest
Agony in my soul
Pain through my body
Shooting through my nerves
Vise grip to the chest
  can’t breathe
  can’t scream
  can’t let go of you
  can’t breathe again…can’t breathe…can’t breathe…can’t breathe
Why can’t I let go of you?
It’s the thoughts again
  I can’t avoid them
  they found me again
  they always find me
Just when I think I’m okay
  dull ache turns to sharp ache
  sharp pain, knife cutting through me
  start at my heart and slice to my soul
  up to my throat and out my mouth
  screams of agony again
The thoughts are here again
Why can’t I let go of you?
You broke my heart
Why should I give you another chance?
Why did I give you another chance?
My heart is breaking again.
  I can hear it in my chest
  I can feel it in my heart, the pain is back again
Why can’t I let go of you?
You hurt me once, you’ll do it again
You speak sweet words to me
Only I won’t fall for it again.
Or maybe I will.
Confusion confusion
Thoughts swirling through my head
  spins whirls twirls jumbles
Thoughts tumbling in my head
Slow down, slow down
  I can’t see them all
  I can’t keep up
Here we go again
Here they come again
  fall to the floor again
  scream again
  cry again
  double over again
  agony again
  heartbreak again
Still screaming
Still crying
Game Over
  I lose again.


Author's Note:  I realize this does not make total sense - it's not meant to.  It's meant to describe the disjointed feelings after a betrayal.  With that said, all feedback would be greatly appreciated!