Eventually

Eventually, after all the fake smiles, the stupid comments, the laughing to hide the insecurities – you break down. In life, you can only pretend so long before your emotions catch up to you and you realize that – well, there is something more and it always feels out of reach. And why is it you can surround yourself with people, but right when you need them – they’re suddenly busy, out of town, or they don’t hear the phone ring?

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try – you feel so alone. No matter how many “I love you”s you hear or how many hugs you get, it’s still there–loneliness. And that stupid feeling of lonely leads to your tears. You just want someone to wipe them away, anyone. But it never is just anyone. It’s always the one that you really want, and sometimes the one is so far out of reach. So you become slightly dumber than you really are, you give them what you think they want, and you find that person that you “need”, and he doesn’t need you.


But shockingly – as much as it hurts, you don’t need him. I just need my smile, my life, my soul, and my body. Since you know, they’re mine. Maybe loneliness is worse than faking, than caring and wanting-hungering for some guy that can’t even see your worth, but I’m willing to take the chance that it’s not and he cannot create me. I determine who I am, what I am, and my own attitude. No one else. Therefore, if a guy cannot realize how fantastic I am, I don’t need to waste my time on him.