Thoughts after an evening with friends. |
Are you alone here too? Why am I alone you ask? Well, I'm not really alone. There are people here. People know my name and not much more. What about the people I came with? They're around here somewhere. They left me when we walked in the door. Yes, I guess that they're my friends. They talk to me and tell me of their problems and I try to help. I am there for them when they need someone. I will do anything for my friends. I listen and talk and say what they want to hear. I know them. I hear their lives from their own lips. Heartache, joy, pain, loss and love. I live my life through them. Through them I get to live. . . I first date I haven't had. The first kiss I haven't felt. A prom I never danced. Sex I have yet to experience or enjoy. Hugs that haven't embraced. Cuddling that is warmth and support. Closeness that is absent. Comfort that is seldom there. Human touch for which I crave. Love I'm afraid I'll never get. A body I wish was mine. A face no one forgets. Compliments I wish were real. I live through them. My friends. Their experiences are the only life I know. They are my life. My life is not theirs. It will never be theirs. It is not fun to be alone. I am here, they are there. While they have a good time I sit and watch. What else do I have? Being a shadow, tag-along, 3rd wheel is better than being no one at all. |