On The Road

On The Road
by Terry Burres
word count 1054

“Pa-lease! Just turn around and ask for directions.” She said for the seventh time in as many minutes.

“What?” Never taking his eyes from the road. “I don’t need to ask for directions. I know exactly where I’m at.”

“No, you do not.” She sighed. “You have not a clue - not an inkling.”

“But I do know where I’m at. I am in Indiana the glorious nineteenth state of the Union in these United States of America; part of the North American continent; on a planet called Earth; the third planet of a yellow star.” He finished with a flourish.

“Oh-ho-ho ” she groaned. “You may know that we are in Indiana. You may know that we are in the United States of America. You may know that we are on the North American continent. You may even know that we are on a planet called Earth and that it’s the third planet of a yellow star. But, do you know how to find Madison? No, you do Not. Not a clue!”

“Do To!” He said. “ I know exactly where it’s at. All I have to do is follow this road.”

“Did you see that sign back there? Did you see the sign that said 'Seymour'? Seymour is Not at all near Madison! I can show it to you on the map.”

“Don’t care. Don’t care at all. I know exactly where I’m going.”

She sighed again and watched out the window as fields upon fields flashed past. She looked at the clock; two minutes after twelve it read. Two minutes after Twelve in the afternoon and this old fool had no clue where he was going. They were going to be late. They were suppose to be in Madison by one o’clock.

He would just not stop to ask for directions, He was just too stubborn. This is not a Highway. There were only two lanes. A highway has four lanes, not two. She knew a highway when she saw one. This was Not a highway.

“Oh,” she sighed yet again. “Why are you so stubborn?”

“Not stubborn, just determined”

“What?” She asked.

“Just determined. I know where I’m going and I’ll get us there in my own good time.”

“Your going to have us late. Do you know what Betha will say if we’re late? Do you want Betha to be fussing? Well, of course, she won’t say anything to you. She would never fuss at you. I’m her sister. I’m the one that she’ll fuss when we are late.”

“We won’t be late.”

“We won’t be late If you would turn around and ask directions.” She turned in the seat toward him. “Old man, I want you to turn around right now and ask for directions. If you don’t turn around right now and ask for directions we are going to be late. Betha is going to be fussing at me while you are in the den with the rest of the old men watching football on the tv.”

“Now old man! I want you to turn this car around right. Drive to some place where there is a filling station or a convenient store where we can ask directions!”

“Don’t need to,” he said. “I don’t need to do any of that at all because I know exactly where I’m going.”

“OOOOHHHHH!!!!” she groaned. She turned and stared straight ahead. She didn’t look left. She didn’t look right. She didn’t look at the clock in the car while the minutes ticked by. What she was seeing was the expression on Betha’s face when they rolled in hours and hours too late.

“I could just cry,” she moaned. “I could just cry! You are ruining the whole trip. I told you before that we should have gone through Charlestown like Betha said. We should have been on Highways 62 with all those little towns. My Goodness, we should have done it!” She laid her head against the cold window of the passenger’s side door.


“Oh My - Oh Me -Oh My,” she lamented. Betha was going to have a cow. Betha was going to have a fit. Betha was going to be soooo mad. But she won’t say anything to the old fool. Oh no. She won’t say anything to him. She’ll just tell me and I’ll have to listen to her.

Oh!This wasn’t fair. Life wasn’t fair. If she had driven they would have been going the right way now; but, the old man had gotten in the car first. Even though she had tried to tell him how they should go. Would he listen? Of course not, and now - now - they were going to be late.

She looked at the clock and gasp. The clock read twenty after twelve. Heaven only knows where they were. Why no one may find them for a very long time. They could be driving through the country side until Christmas time and it was Super Bowl Sunday.

They would be driving until they ran out of gas. There they’d be! Found sitting in their car. Nothing but bones and tattered clothes. That’s how they would be found next Christmas in their rusted out car. She just knew that would be their end. and all because the old fool would not turn around and ask for directions.

“Well we’re here.” He said.

“What?”

“Well we’re here, I said. Pay attention! Don’t you see it? There’s Betha’s house right there. There’s everyone’s cars. Wait I don’t see Seth’s big old car. So we’re not doing to bad. See we’re not the last one’s here. It is, if I’m reading this thing right, twelve twenty nine.”

“ We have thirty one minutes. We could go for a ride! We could drive all the way into Madison, park the car, and walk around some of those antique shops that you like. Maybe we could go over to Vevey and go to the gambling boat. We could spend a little money. Then we could come on back here and still get back in time. Betha couldn’t get mad. We would be here before one o’clock. What do you say old gal? Do you want to take a ride?

“Won’t you just pull this car on over and let me out.” She said. “All this trouble you’ve caused me! And all you had to do was turn around and ask for directions.”