DAY ETERNITY ENDED

                              THE DAY ETERNITY ENDED

    Here are my memoirs. They span from infinity to eternity. I don't know if anyone will ever read them, but it is my hope that these words will give guidance to any who may come after me.
    I don't know any who were before me. As a result, my existence has been spent wondering what is. Hopefully, I will save you some of the aggravation that I suffered. As you will see, I have not solved very much of the mystery. Maybe, you'll be able to progress beyond my current comprehension.
      Who am I? I don't know.
      How long have I existed? There's no way to tell. What am I? Your guess is as good as mine.
      I have been called Allah, Buddha, Jehovah, Ra, Yahweh, Jesus, and hundreds of other names. The most universal name attributed to me is God.
I jump ahead of myself. Let me begin from the time when my existence was known and recorded.
      You see, for so long I existed just pondering and wondering, not even sure if what I was doing was thinking. Thinking so much and asking so many questions that went unanswered was a heavy burden to carry. My mind was beginning to turn in upon itself. I knew that if I continued like this, I would eventually lose myself within myself.
    I have to accept that it was the loneliness. I had too much time to do nothing but think. So, I created a companion. Later, when he became many, they called themselves human; man for short.
      I don't know how I did it. At one point in my existence I thought about how nice it would be to have someone else to talk to. I figured a companion could help me answer some of the millions of questions I had. The next thing I knew, there he was on one of those tiny colorful spheres that floated all about me.
      He was so small. Whereas I could see millions of these spheres, he occupied only one. Yet, I saw him as if I were the same size. However, it seemed like he couldn't see me. I tried to communicate with him, but he ran away as if I scared him. He ran away every time I tried to make contact. Eventually, he started to address me, begging me not to hurt him. He even started leaving me presents, always thanking me for providing him with his needs and sparing his life for another day.
    Why couldn't he understand that I just wanted to talk?
      I can go on and on about man, but the important thing is, I could now measure my existence. Somehow, when I thought man into existence, a whole scheme of things happened. The little colored spheres started revolving around the bright one, leaving the man's sphere half in darkness and half in light. The man called this process days. He created a whole system of time.
      According to man's calculations, I created him a few thousand years ago.       
      Anyhow, knowing how lonely I was, I could not force him to suffer the same fate. It seems that I have an uncanny learning process. I do not know how man came about, but I knew how he worked. There wasn't a part of his biology that I didn't understand. When I realized that he had the potential to reproduce himself, but lacked certain organs, I created another human that could fulfill the reproduction process. Don't trouble yourself wondering how this knowledge comes about: it just seems to exist. The result of my new creation was what is known as the female. Through an act the humans call sex, they multiplied themselves.
    Let me tell you, it is a very weird feeling making things and not being able to even see yourself. Things just seem to appear. It's like my thoughts become reality. I must warn you, however, be careful of what you think into existence. Many times I had to rescue man from things that I created.
    It's strange; I don't even know how my thinking process works, yet I can hear the human's thoughts. Thankfully, their thoughts cannot create, that is, like my thoughts. When they think of something they have to use physical means to bring it about. It's a shame to admit this but, humans are somewhat dumb. They have the potential to do wonders, but they don't use it. Time after time I found myself creating things just so they could survive. I've even had to put some of the basic survival ideas in their heads.
    After a few thousand years the humans started to give me attributes. It was eerie. They said that I have always existed and that I created everything.
    How could they know this? I don't even remember the beginning of my existence. I have just been. The thing man calls time doesn't exist for me. Today is tomorrow as yesterday is today. I am what I am, which I cannot explain what is.
I do not recall creating the spheres that they call planets and stars. I thought they had always existed. Who knows, maybe my thoughts created them also.
    To continue, they claimed I had many powers. I guess this part is true even though I really never thought about it. I could create life and just about anything else I thought of. I even created the death process. Man really liked the act of sex and new humans were being born rapidly. If I had let them continue at the rate they were going they would have run out of their necessary resources.
    Now, death had a peculiar affect on humans. They thought that when they died they came to be with me. Believe me, these humans can be quite convincing. For a time I kept looking for these soul things that were suppose to come to me. They said I lived in heaven and that's where they would go. I spent some time looking for this place. I thought if I could find heaven I would finally be able to communicate with the humans. No such luck. I came to understand that this fantasizing humans indulged in was also known as wishful thinking. Heaven was a fantasy. Some humans even believed I was a fantasy. Yet, it never seemed to fail. At some time in their lives, every human called upon me. The unbelievers usually waited until they were dying.
    Over time people started to use me to control others. Even though I never did a thing they could prove, just the evoking of my name sent people running, begging for mercy.
    I was quite upset with this. Every now and then I found a human who could hear me and who would listen. I stopped troubling them with questions when I realized that they knew a lot less than I did. Instead, I taught those who would listen how to live in peace with one another.
    I did so much for man. In a way, it helped me. While I was watching them and helping them with their problems, I wasn't thinking about myself. Yet, they were still ungrateful!
    In later days they came up with a saying I liked and it described them perfectly.  It goes like this: "You can buy them books and send them to school but...." It's a sarcastic remark usually directed towards children. It means that you can give someone all the tools they need to learn and better themselves, but they don't utilize them. Exactly what man does.
    What more can I do for them?
    Humans are responsible for creating the emotion anger. It has even affected me. They had become so cruel to me another. I tried to warn them of the dangers of hate, but they wouldn't listen to me: except for one man.
    I had enough of their cruelties, but not their company, regardless of the lack of communication. I instructed this one man who did listen to build an ark. I let him save himself and his family while I destroyed everything else. I figured he could do the reproduction thing and teach the new humans the right way to live. Was I wrong?
    Man seems to have this thing in him which makes him rebellious. Another thing I noticed is they always repeat the past when the logical thing to do would be to learn from it. No matter what, man cannot just get along. Even those who made me this god thing turn upon their fellow man and break their own rules.
    Once, I created a special human. When he became a man I used him to tell people how to live the right way and in peace. Can you believe it, they actually killed him. He never once did a thing wrong.
    Ah, I've caught myself. I told you I could go on and on about man-- especially now. They have actually progressed, but I can't say it's for the better.
    Anyhow, I exist. I don't know why. There seems to be no purpose for my existence. I'm tired and confused. Man has turned out to be a disappointment.
I have been alone for so long now, and I fear I will remain so. I tell you this so you will know. For what man calls infinity I have pondered my situation and existence. Don't do the same. Try to go beyond this point.
    I leave you with one other piece of advice. If man is not around when you come into existence, don't create him. He's nothing but a heartache. If you can figure out how to communicate with them, go for it. If not, stick to animals. They provide a good distraction when the thoughts get too heavy.
    As I said, man might not be around when you come. They say that I am eternal and everything exists because of me. If they are right, then they will be gone, for I am ending eternity. I now cease to exist.