Independence

One day this past summer, I realized that I was in fear of mom falling and getting hurt again so I was doing everything for her, dressing/undressing, getting her on or off the pot, just about everything. But something I read plus the realization came that I was doing her no good by doing so much for her. To keep her strength up, to keep her dexterity, to keep her mind thinking, I needed to let her do as much as she possibly could for herself. So, I rearranged her room giving her just enough area to move in from her bed to her potty.

I always had a monitor on when she was in her room. In the first weeks of caring for her, when she needed help all we would hear "Is anybody out there, is somebody out there?" all hours of the day and night! Which sent me jumping and running to her assistance. By letting her have some of her independence back, it has helped her feel she isn't so old and helpless, and it has given me more rest and peace of mind, and peace in the house. Now, she gets up when she needs to, maybe 1 to 3 times, and only calls if she needs help, which isn't to often.

My nights are more restful now and days as well. But this is all a learning process. There are many books to read and articles online to read all have been a help to me, but each situation of parent care is different and must be learned through trial and error. There have been many times that I thought I knew what do do, I had everything under control, wrong. Had to admit to myself that I didn't have it all under control and needed to make some changes. Glad I did.

She can get up as often as needed, she dresses and undresses herself, does her potty thing mostly by herself, it is all greatly improved. She sleeps much more at night then she used to also. I think it has taken all these months of being on an actual schedule for her to get her to sleep more.

So, I'm still wearing that 'caregiver's coat' after a year and the pockets are stuffed with notes of 'did this wrong' and 'did this right'.