The Clouds Flew Away

I don't know where to begin............. I have a cape of emotions that are around my purest thoughts
I struggle daily with the actual reality that i'm living and the happiness that i'm lying in
it's so wonderful that i'm parnoid of the inevitable hook, the gimick, the trick
then again I suppose that a 1/4th of my being is composed of paranoia

While my purest thoughts of utmost belief in others, myself, and the dreams of dieties shine....
there is still a cape that dims the shine.........the cape is sown together with the intermingling of emotions....
scared, doubt, worry, fear, saddness, rememberance...
just the emotions used by the devil himself, in attempt to relinquish the most shallow trust in others
and pitch a selfish and vain uncertianty that blurs honesty and faith

I'm sorry to those who have suffered the slings and arrows of this unfortoune (thank you Shakespear)
it is only me to blame for my insecurites.........it is not that I doubt the good faith and actions of others.
No, it's that I still have a bit of whip lash from the quickness in which these changes unfolded...so sudden.
I do trust, and love, and appreciate, and I am proud.........but like decided by invited guest into the inner workings
of this twisted mind, time and actions will be my Neosporin. Don't worry your actions are already speaking for themself, and i'm certian that they will continue. I'm sorry for this wordy entry, but I felt that the only way to possibly compose my emotions onto paper must be done quite densly, otherwise I do believe you would be reading a novel....