Chat

CHAT

By TesubCalle

A/N: If anyone has been in a chat room, this will probably all sound very familiar...

ChatBot1: MadChatter has entered the room.

OneNoteSamba: Hi, MC

CandyCane: Hello, MadChatter

MadChatter: asl

OneNoteSamba: Dude, this ain’t a pick-up bar

Batty: Yeah. Go someplace else. We don’t care about age, sex and location here.

Suppressed Mind: I’m between 2 and 99/androgynous/home.

OneNoteSamba: LOL!

Batty: rofl, Mind.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: What if Mad means ‘American Sign Language’ ?

Suppressed Mind: Highly unlikely.

MadChatter: asl

Batty: We aren’t interested in asl-ing, mad

Suppressed Mind: Go try www. we like to asl. org , Mad.

OneNoteSamba: Ha!

CandyCane: what is ‘asl’ supposed to mean?

OneNoteSamba: age/sex/location

Batty: What I just said: age, sex and location.

CandyCane: Oh I see. 17 female Oregon.

Suppressed Mind: Don’t ever give that information on the Net, Candy!

CandyCane: Oh sorry

Suppressed Mind: No need to apologize. It's just that sometimes giving out really personal details about yourself can be dangerous. You never know who might be paying attention.

CandyCane: I see

MadChatter: u guyz suck. I hate u.

Suppressed Mind: You mean, ‘You guys suck. I hate you.’ Geez, learn to write English properly!

MadChatter: mind y don’t u shut the hell up

Suppressed Mind: You mean, ‘Mind, why don’t you shut the (expletive) up?’ Don’t they teach you anything in school anymore, Mad?

MadChatter: ur makin me so angry im gonna rip ur head of

Suppressed Mind: I think you mean: ‘You’re making me so angry! I’m going to rip off your head!’

MadChatter: y u keep riting all the stuff I rite stop it.

Suppressed Mind: ‘Why do you keep writing all the stuff I write? Stop it!’

OneNoteSamba: this is getting old.

MadChatter: mind ur mean im coming there an im gonna kill u

Batty: Mad, take off. Go play somewhere else.

Suppressed Mind: ‘Mind, you’re mean. I’m coming there and I’m going to kill you!’

MadChatter: OK ur realy makin me mad ur in troble now u litlle pice of shit.

ChatBot1: MadChatter has been kicked from the room for offensive language.

Batty: What a little idiot.

OneNoteSamba: No kidding

Suppressed Mind: Heh. Mad should have been kicked out long ago for offensive spelling and grammar. But the BOT gets those annoying trolls each time, thank God!

CandyCane: What’s a troll ?

Suppressed Mind: Usually someone who comes in for the express purpose of annoying the chatters in the room. They tend to be in the young to mid-teenage range with zero social, spelling and grammar skills. I like to mess with their minds when they cop all that stupid ‘Net-speak’ lingo.

CandyCane: Oh

ChatBot1: MadChatter has entered the room.

Batty: Oh great.

MadChatter: y u kik me out that wuz no fair

Suppressed Mind: ‘Why did you kick me out? That was no fair!’ Wow, you spelled a few words right that time. Congratulations, Mad.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: Mad, the room Bot or moderator kicked you out.

MadChatter: wat means that

Suppressed Mind: ‘What does that mean?’

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: The Bot is a program that screens the chat dialogue. If you swear, it will kick you out.

MadChatter: that sux ur all dum

Suppressed Mind: sigh…’That sucks. You’re all dumb.’ Wow, Mad. Are you really this uneducated, or are you just trying to annoy us?

MadChatter: shut the hell up mind ur own biznes

Suppressed Mind: ‘Shut the (expletive) up. Mind your own business.’ Sheesh. Such a potty mouth, Mad. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Batty: Ok, time to give it a rest, huh? Just ignore Mad.

MadChatter: ur so ded now mind

Suppressed Mind: ‘You’re so dead now, Mind.’

MadChatter: im comin to ur plaace an im gonna kil u

Suppressed Mind: ‘I’m coming to your place and I’m going to kill you.’ You don’t even know where I live, Mad. Give it up.

MadChatter: u think ur so smart i do so no were u liv

ChatBot1: MadChatter has left the room.

Suppressed Mind: Good riddance!

CandyCane: Yeah. That was pretty dumb.

OneNoteSamba: We see stupid little kids like that in here all the time.

Batty: Right. Up past their bedtimes. Mommy and Daddy have no idea they’re up chatting on the Internet.

Suppressed Mind: It astounds me that parents leave their kids unsupervised on the ‘Net when there are so many horror stories about predators stalking children. Bet most parents would ban their kids from chat rooms if they knew the kind of language they were using, too.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: Yeah. It’s really sad.

Suppressed Mind: So Candy, you live in Oregon? I don’t normally ask, but you did volunteer the info.

CandyCane: Yes.

Suppressed Mind: Cool. I do, too.

CandyCane: Cool!

Batty: Dim the lights and turn on the slow music! We got ourselves an internet romance blossoming even as we gaze!

OneNoteSamba: lol

Suppressed Mind: Droll, Batty, very droll. I’d ask where in Oregon you are, Candy, but then I’d be asking you to break one of my own chat room cardinal rules.

CandyCane: That’s OK.

ChatBot1: Suppressed Mind has left the room.

OneNoteSamba: Aw, he left without saying good-bye

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: dude, Mind is a girl.

OneNoteSamba: really? How do you know?

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: She told me one time. I mean, I guess you never really can tell on the net, but yeah, I think Mind’s a girl.

OneNoteSamba: Ok. SHE left without saying good-bye.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: There ya go. That’s better.

Batty: Just goes to show you never really can tell who you’re talking to in a chat room

OneNoteSamba: That’s true. People assume I’m Brazilian or something from my name.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: ppl always ask me if I’m really from DesMoines.

Batty: are you?

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: nah. Just from a song I once heard. Thought it would be a cool handle for a chat room.

Batty: I see. Most ppl just think I’m crazy. You know, ‘batty’.

OneNoteSamba: lol. But batty, you are crazy sometimes.

Batty: yeah, I guess youre right! But seriously, I picked this nickname cause I’m a fan of Batman.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines:...

Batty: are we lagging?

CandyCane: lagging?

Batty: lagging is when the screen sort of freezes.

OneNoteSamba: No. we're just all being quiet for now.

Batty: okay. I thought so.

Batty: so..........

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: So....................

OneNoteSamba: la-te-do

Batty: LOL

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: lol!

CandyCane: Hey guys, there’s a bunch of sirens going on outside my building.

Batty: what’s happening?

CandCane: I’m gonna look

Batty: sure

CandyCane: Looks like a bunch of cops or something. They’re pulling up to the condos across the street. I’m logging off now, OK? Nice talking to you guys.

Batty: Later, Candy

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: Bye, CC

ChatBot1: CandyCane has left the room.

OneNoteSamba: Bye, Candy.

OneNoteSamba: Shoot, too late.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: Wonder what’s going on by Candy’s over there in Oregon.

Batty: Some domestic disturbance or something ,maybe.

OneNoteSamba: i’m taking off now too, guys. It’s late.

Batty: Ok, bye, note.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: Adios, note.

ChatBot1: OneNoteSamba has left the room.

Batty: Think I’ll head, too. Work in the morning and such. Bye, Dry.

DryCleanerFromDesMoines: sob, I’m being abandoned!

Batty: lol. Catch ya later. Same Bat time, same Bat channel!

ChatBot1: Batty has left the room.

ChatBot1: DryCleanerFromDesMoines has left the room.

ChatBot1: MadChatter has entered the room.

MadChatter: told u i wuz gonna kil that bitch

ChatBot1: MadChatter has been kicked from the room for offensive language.

END