The Addiction Affliction

When I wake some days
I’m just three seconds away
From losin’ it all
Everyday I feel blinded by this rage
It takes me one step farther away from my faith
Some friends say I got to learn to relax
But they don’t understand that I’ve been
Going for miles and miles and days and days
Just trying to come down off this spin
Just trying to make sense of it all and get by
But everyone’s got to make it hard
Everyone’s leaning on me just to get high
If they don’t want money they want something
If they don’t want to get through then they want nothing
Some people just don’t understand
They think it’s easy to live like this
But money’s just another problem I can’t stand
I’m pleading for my own sake that those who depend
On me for solutions realize that I’m not invincible
I got a whole lot of friends running fast toward dead ends
Thinking that when its over they can just come on over
And I will lift them up and save them from whatever
But drugs only get you so far
And when its over your back farther
Then you’ve ever been in your whole life
So depressed that you might as well just end your whole life
I wish for my family’s sake that I never met this dust
Then I wouldn’t have ever gave them reasons to distrust
Me or my decisions and I’d be a whole lot better off
But I guess that’s just the way it goes
No matter what I say they’ll never know
That I’m truly sorry and I wish it wasn’t so
That I ended up this way with a rock as my mother
And a needle as my father
But I’ll still pray and beg for mercy
Forever I’ll whisper the penance of the undeserver.