deliverance

fuck you
for making me doubt myself.
for even one second.

fuck you
for expecting forgiveness again and again
and knowing i would deliver.

its not fair,
and neither is life.
they keep telling me that.
but youre the part of life that i can change.

so thats it.
youre last attempt was the finale
curtain down
cue the house lights
no encore.

one last time i take in the thought of you.
i remember your eyes and how they smile.
    and lie with every other blink.
i remember your lips and how they move.
    but only to the tune of willie nelson and your own bullshit.
i remember your hands and how they feel on my body.
    and then how they strangled the self respect right out of me.

and with that i let go.
of your eyes
and your lips
and your hands
and you.

so please
lead me not into temptation.
deliver me from evil.