A Costly temptation

A Costly Temptation

         Mrs Loong, the English teacher, was monotonously rambling on something about the proper usage of prepositions, completely oblivious to the fact that half the class were dozing off to their dreamlands. It was the day’s first lesson and not wanting to fall asleep, I looked out the window. It was the usual weather that morning: the grey clouds had gathered together and the rain was falling heavily, dancing beautifully in tune with the thunder, and the occasional flashes of lightning. It was amazing how the weather could sometimes describe the mood in the class. As I saw my reflection in the glass, I felt myself drift into self-reflection.

         I had always been the quietest boy in my class, the type who tried to make punctuality and discipline the religion of his life. My grades were never sky high, but neither did they swim near the bottom of the school pond. During lessons, I contributed little else other than breath, and as a result of that, I was left alone in my class, forgotten until some miserable teacher happened to glance my way. Though I arrived early for all my classes, I never got to sit at my favourite seat at the back: it also happened to be the favourite seat of the most notorious boy in my class.

         I looked around again and spotted Marie chatting with her friend quietly. Marie, she was the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my life, and I’d never heard a voice sweeter than hers. It was too bad that I never got the courage to talk to her, to ask her out on a date. While I was still gazing at her, the thunder rumbled again, but this time, it was accompanied by the sound of someone entering the classroom. Someone big, and wet.

         I turned, and saw that it was none other than Ediut, the very same notorious boy I was thinking about moments ago. He walked in slowly and heavily, the way that all class bullies liked to walk, and his face clearly showed that he considered himself to be the most important person in the world. I looked expectantly at Mrs Loong, hoping that she would finally gather up her courage and punish Ediut like she would any rule-breaker. But to my disappointment, that wasn’t the case. Ediut was one boy whom nobody wanted to mess with, not even the teachers. He simply strolled in and went to his desk, and all Mrs Loong did was look at him and shake her head. “So, class, as I was saying…” she resumed her teaching in her dull and droning voice.

         But I wasn’t paying attention to her. I was observing Ediut closely. There was something in his smile that made me feel strange, as if he was up to something bad, something worse than he had ever done before. A few minutes later, my suspicion was confirmed.

         Ediut had taken out what looked like a small magazine wrapped in thick plastic. At first, I thought it was just an ordinary magazine, the sort of rubbish that most teenagers liked to read. But when Ediut showed it to one of his friends, he sniggered loudly, loud enough to draw the attention of Mrs Loong.

         She stopped her dull voice and looked over at the culprits. For a moment, I thought she was going to scold them but, just like before, I was disappointed: she merely turned back to the whiteboard.

         “What a coward,” I heard Ediut whisper. He had resumed showing his magazine to his friends, and all of them, after seeing it, guffawed uncontrollably. I was perplexed as to what Ediut and his gang found so funny. My instinct told me it was probably something bad, but my curiosity was starting to kill me.


         * * * * *

         “So, Prabhu, do you know what the magazine is about?” Rushpal, my only friend in the entire school, asked me.

         “No,” I answered slowly as I chewed on my nasi lemak. “Do you?”

         “Yes,” he said, a sickened look on his face. “I saw the cover page as that idiot passed it around. It had a woman who…well, she had a certain look about her. I don’t know how to explain, but I can tell you for sure that the magazine isn’t for decent people. It’s pornography.” He said the word, and then spitted on the ground, as if the there was something filthy in his mouth.

         Pornography. My mind started buzzing with the word. Images of various things, of kisses and hugs I had seen in the movies, filled my head. I had heard of it many times before, of how addictive and destructive it could be. But I had never actually seen it.

         “Have you seen it before? Pornography, I mean,” I asked Rushpal.

         “Of course not!” he exclaimed, his face filling with disgust. “It’s not right! It’s dirty and foul and vile…and besides, we’re only thirteen years’ old! What need is there to see such things?”

         “But everyone else has seen it.”

         “Wrong, I haven’t. And none of my friends have. And I expect them not to, if they want to continue being my friend.”

         The bell sounded, signalling the end of recess. I marched up slowly to class, my mind still buzzing with those kisses and hugs from the movies.

         * * * * *

         “Class, I want you all to pair up today and write for me what you have learned so far about prepositions.” Mrs Loong told us the next day. From the groans that greeted this message, I could tell that nobody was happy about it. And what was worse, my partner was chosen to be none other than Ediut. I sat miserably beside him, fearing the worst. But whatever I expected him to do, nothing could have prepared me for what he did and said next.

         He bent forward and, after digging through his bag unceremoniously, he pulled out a magazine, the same magazine that had ensnared my attention the previous day.

         As he waved it teasingly at my face, I could see that the magazine was entitled ‘That’s Hot’. Its cover featured a woman in a thong, her legs spread apart. She was bending down with her back facing the reader, such that it looked as if she were showing the reader her bottom. She also seemed to beckon at the reader with her hands.

         It was as if someone had super-glued my eyes onto the magazine: I just couldn’t take my eyes off it. Ediut saw this and said, “Do you want to see it?”

         I was about to say yes when I remembered Rushpal telling me about how he wouldn’t accept the friendship of those who delved into such things. I tried to say no, but the word simply refused to come out of my mouth.

         “What?” Ediut said. “You look like a goldfish that has just been taken out of the aquarium.”

         I opened my mouth again, but no sound came out.

         “You want it?”

         I shook my head.

         “Stop kidding yourself. I know you want to see what’s inside. Everyone who is a real man will want to see what’s inside.”

         I looked at him blankly, not understanding what the magazine had to do with anyone being a man.

         “If you are man enough,” Ediut continued, “you will take and read it.” He then shoved the magazine into my hands. I stared at him with open mouth, unable to believe what Ediut had just done. The day before, I had wanted to see what was inside the magazine, but after my conversation with Rushpal, I was in a different mind. Now that I didn’t want it, I somehow found the magazine shoved into my hands! Before I could decide what to do next, I felt Ediut fumbling with his bag again. When I looked at him, I saw that he had packed his bag and was heading towards the exit. Just like that, and Mrs Loong simply ignored his exit.

         I put the That’s Hot magazine into my bag, and looked at the whiteboard, but I wasn’t really paying attention. My mind was still reeling from what had happened.

         Then it came, the heavy footsteps, the knock on the door, and the huge frame of my school’s discipline master in the doorway. He went over to Mrs Loong and whispered something in her ears. She nodded, and the discipline master faced the class.

         “Sorry to disturb your lesson,” his voice boomed. “I have received information that there has been a circulation of an adult magazine in the school, and the person whom the magazine belongs to is from this class. If you know who this person is, please tell me.” He then looked around the class expectantly.

         I was stunned, and my mind went completely blank. The culprit was Ediut. But I suddenly realised that his magazine wasn’t with him. It was with me! I felt my heart skip a beat.

         When nobody said anything, the discipline master twitched his large moustache and said, “If the culprit is in this class, you’d better own up now, and I shall try to be lenient with you. If not, the punishment will be more severe.” He gazed around the class once more, and when nobody owned up, he barked, “Fine, I will do it the traditional way.” He then told everybody to step out of the class, leaving their belongings behind while he searched through each and everyone’s bags, until the magazine was found.

         I was standing outside the classroom along with the rest of my classmates when I felt a hand on my shoulders. I started, but when I looked behind, I saw that it was only Rushpal.

         “What happened to you?” he asked. “You look white, and you’re shaking.”

         I shook my head and closed my eyes, awaiting the blow that was to come.

         “Ah, here it is,” I heard the discipline master’s voice. “Let’s see whose bag this belongs to…Prabhunath. Who is Prabhunath?”

         I opened my eyes, and to my horror, everyone was looking at me! Rushpal, Mrs Loong, Ediut’s gang members, and even Marie!

         The discipline master came out, carrying my bag and the That’s Hot magazine. After conversing with Mrs Loong again, during which she pointed me out, he came over and asked me, “Does this belong to you?”

         I tried to say no, but just like before, my voice seemed to have taken a holiday break. My mind felt numb at the rush of events, and couldn’t think anything clearly. Heck, I couldn’t even think at all!

         “Is this yours?” the discipline master asked again, this time more sternly.

         I shook my head and looked around for help, anyone at all. Rushpal knew I wasn’t like that, I recalled. But when I saw the look on his face, all I saw was the look of utter disgust, and in his eyes clearly shone the pain of feeling betrayed. No, this couldn’t be, I thought. I looked at Ediut’s friends, thinking that they too knew the truth about the magazine. But they were all looking and smiling at each other, as if they had been triumphant in something. What are they doing, and why aren’t they helping me, I wondered, and then it hit me: they were Ediut’s friends, not mine. Why should they help me? The force of this realisation almost knocked me senseless. From the corner of my eye, I saw Marie’s hurt face.

         “It seems that you are a stubborn one.” I had forgotten about the discipline master. “Well, follow me. We need to see the principal immediately. It looks like your parents will be called as well.”

         He pulled me by my shoulders, guiding me to the principal’s office. “Didn’t you know such things are banned?” he continued. “You’re only in secondary two, and yet you do this. Do you know what you have gotten yourself into, young man? Do you know the punishment you will receive?”

         I shook my head, unable to shut the numbing blankness that was in my mind.

         “You will receive five strokes of the cane, all in front of your parents. And a month of detentions. Didn’t you know? It was written in the school diary…”

         He went on, but I wasn’t paying attention anymore. I had never felt so helpless, shocked and ashamed ever before. What have I done, I wondered. I had only given in to a temptation, one that everyone is curious about, nothing more. But because of it, I had lost my pride, my dignity, my best friend. And Marie. What did I get out of the magazine? Nothing. What did I lose because of it? Everything…