I lent a hand,
but was never rewarded.
I cried in shame,
when the wrong person was awarded.
After a long lapse of failure,
I broke the trend,
but once again I join forces,
with disappoinment, my best friend.
I was meant to survive.
They made me continue.
Only to experience ever long pain.
I can no longer fit into this venue.
Distant hopes,
you run away like a coward.
You see me crying in defeat.
As my last cries were devoured.
They the fortunate ones made me,
so I may taste the dirt they walk on.
This cannot be my purpose on earth.
A new braver me must spawn.
Illusions of constant failure.
It all becomes reality in my frail mind.
Susceptible to false enjoyment.
The nicer things become hard to find.
When I think of a way to escape it all,
I get caught by a set back.
When it becomes useless to keep hope,
I fall into an anxiety attack.
This foreign mind I possess,
suffers so greatly,
it becomes useless.
When I look upon my life,
I realize I’ve forgotten how to live.
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