Once

I held you once like a new mother holds her child for the first time
Wit pride and astonishment
With that awestruck look of unconditional love and devotion
That thankful look toward the heavens for this being that she
Hold close to her beating heart
But you broke away from my grip
Loosened that loving embrace
With continued lies and twisted plots

I desired you once like a slave desires freedom
Each day as he works in the hot delta sun, looking toward
The sky, dreaming of better days
But the flames of desire were fanned by your fabrications and perfume scented shirts

I needed you once as the homeless need shelter from
The cold January night air in northern cities
Scurrying along the street, trying to escape the pain of its sting,
Longing for the indoors
But I became less needy upon discovering your flower shop receipts for
Roses whose scent never danced under my nostrils and the telephone numbers
Etched in eyeliner on jazz club napkins that adorned your jacket pockets

I loved you once with a contentment like
Chocolate Sundays, on lazy, rainy Sunday afternoons in bed, and
Candlelit, Calgonic, enveloping jazz music, whirlpool bubble baths
But that love dissipated after the truth of the lies behind your bedroom eyes
Revealed itself to me and your image in my eyes changed like the reading of a haiku
(Quickly)

When once I would have been forgiving, understanding, kind even as you
Made me high on your beautiful blackness
I can now undoubtedly and with no regrets say F*&! YOU!