Candy

The sounds of Elliot Smith quietly echoed in the background as we sat together on the bed. Nothing else existed at the moment except her, me, and this bed. We were on an island surrounded by emptiness. Elliot’s voice made the room glow with its soft, tender melodies which told the tales about the complications and rewards of life. The walls bounced off the harmony from the boom box to our awaiting ears. She lay in my arms and I felt whole.
“Promise me you’ll always be here.” She ordered in a soft voice.
“I promise.”
I held her as if someone was pulling her away from me. This couldn’t happen though. No one or nothing could take this away. They wouldn’t be able to get us. Maybe other people but not us. We were invincible. I looked around and thought about how perfect this was. Every time I’m with her is perfect. I lowered my head and kissed her delicate hair. Our hands clasped together forming a bond in front of her stomach.
Candy and I had been together for about 9 months now. Her name is what first attracted me to her. It sounded so exotic yet sweet. It started out as just another girl but then she became more than that. She became a best friend. She became the only person I could truly feel like I could share everything with. We would be together forever.
“So you’re going to pick me up at eight right?” She had asked as I was walking towards my car parked in her parent’s driveway. I moved back to her and took her hands.
“7:59” I said in a serious tone that made her laugh gently and punch me delicately in the arm. I took my hands away from her light grasp and placed them on both sides of her head. I pulled her head to my lips and kissed her and whispered “I love you Candy”
She grinned and tenderly responded, “No you don’t. You adore me.”
“Of course.” I hugged her once more and pulled our bodies apart as I walked back to the car again. I ignited the small sedan and pulled out of the driveway and continued down the street. I looked at my rear-view mirror after I was about 250 yards away from her home and saw a black Lincoln Navigator pull into the same driveway I had just left. Her dad had come home and I almost got caught. Something about the risk of being with Candy made the moments that I spent with her so exciting. So Perfect.
“How was school dear?” my mother had asked as I walked through the front door. She was sitting on the chair sacrificing a few minutes of Dr. Phil to query about my day.
“It was the same old. There was a fight in the cafeteria and…”
“Oh! Was it bad? Did anyone get hurt?”
“Nah, it was just some kids arguing over something or another. Hey, you know Billy Reid right? He used to come over here back in the 4th. Grade sometimes.”
“Yeah, I remember Billy. Whatever happened to him?”
“Nothing ma, we just drifted apart I guess. Well anyway, he was the one in the fight today. He whooped the kid’s ass.”
“Hey, I don’t like you using that kind of language. What are you doing tonight? I’m sure you have something going on with the guys.”
“Actually, I’m going to a party in Jamesville later.”
“You know people in Janesville?”
The truth was that I didn’t know anybody in Janesville. Except Candy. My mom sounded so surprised that I told her I had friends outside of town. She didn’t know about my relationship. Both Candy and I had kept it away from our parents. Her parents would kill her if they knew she was going out with some guy 4 years older than her from a different town. I didn’t tell my mom because I didn’t think she needed to know. I always told her that I was going out with some friends or something. She had always believed me.
“Yeah, I know people in Janesville.” I had finally replied. I finished up the conversation with mom and she had told me to be back by 1 at latest. I headed up to my room where I would spend the next couple of hours getting ready for the big party. I hadn’t known whose party it was. I think it was the brother of some rich kid in Candy’s grade.
I had to be quiet due to my step dad sleeping in the room next to me. Well, he wasn’t really my step dad. My mom had been dating Larry for about a year now. I was fine with it. Larry was a cool guy. He took me hunting on the weekends. Larry and mom never really saw each other a lot though. He worked the graveyard shift and mom worked from 6-4. He made her happy though and that’s all that mattered. Candy made me happy. That was all that mattered to me.
It was about 6:30 and I still had an hour and a half left. I went down into the basement to look for some cologne that I had been meaning to use for quite some time now. I returned upstairs to catch and episode of The Simpsons and ate the rest of a bag of chips. It was about time to go and I decided at the last minute to change my clothes. I was all ready.
I awaited her down the road from her house with the lights turned off. I dialed the numbers to her cell phone and she told me that she’d be out in a few minutes. In order for her to go to the party, she had to sneak out because there was no way her parents would let their 13 year old daughter out to a party that would be filled with high school kids and most certainly alcohol. The alcohol didn’t bother her. Candy and I had drank regularly. I also had introduced her to weed. She had always tried to steer clear of anyone who did drugs but when she found out I was familiar with the stuff, she was willing to give it a go. We sometimes just sat there, high, letting all of our troubles just dissolve into nothing. Our bodies embraced the warmth of each other and nothing mattered except us.
She was walking down the road; almost running. Her steps were graceful as she hurried towards my car. The door opened and she sat down in the passenger side where so many kisses were shared between us.
“Hey baby” I greeted.
“Hey. You ready for the big party?” she had asked.
“Why yes I am.” I responded.
We drove off. The page I had printed off from Mapquest said that it would take about 24 minutes to arrive there. I put a mix CD in and the first song up was “Until Tomorrow” by Greeley Estates. The CD was one of our mixes. We each had picked 10 songs and then I put one of mine first then one of hers, then one of mine. We had many CD’s like this. The first track belonged to me.
“What time do you think you should be home?” I asked.
“I don’t care. Maybe around midnight. Yeah, midnight. That’ll work. What time did your mom say you have to be home?”
“One.”
“Lucky, you’re mom’s the coolest!”
“Well I’m also 17. We ‘big kids’ get our privileges.”
I managed a “shutup” through her laughing. God, I love her smile. So perfect. She was perfect. We were at a stoplight and I turned to look at her and she pulled the collar of my shirt to her and kissed me. The light went green. Our car stayed still. After a few seconds the horns behind us finally became existent and we pulled ahead.
“Cow turds” I shouted
“Toenail fungus!” she shouted louder as if to shove my shout into the ground.
This was one of our games. We would shout at the other person the most disgusting thing we could think of and the sickest would win.
“No way!” I said. “Cow turds are way more disgusting then toenails.”
“Yeah right. And I said toenail fungus not toenails. Anything with feet just completely freak me out.” She defended.
“So let me ask you a question, would you rather eat cow shit or toenail FUNGUS?” I asked.
“How much cow shit?”
“HAHA. I love you Candy”

We arrived at the party. When she had told me that it was an expensive house, she wasn’t kidding. It was two stories and made out of stone. The entrance was one of those U-shaped driveways and there was a fountain right in the middle of the front yard between the pavements. We headed around back where there were people swimming in the heated pool. Some with all their clothes on, some almost naked. There was a fire going on further out in the yard and we could see people already standing around that despite that it wasn’t completely dark out yet. There were candles placed all around the deck in little sticks that shot up from the ground. This was one of the biggest parties I’ve been to all year.
My arm was around Candy’s shoulders as we walked through the house and she talked with some of the kids that she knew. I felt the stares of all the other guys looking at her. I don’t blame them, she’s perfect. It gave me great joy that none of these jocks or skaters could have her because she was mine. She will always be mine. We found our way to the drink table and I poured her a vodka cherry pepsi mix and another one for myself.
“Hey man, what’s up!” I felt an arm around my shoulder. It was Billy Reid.
“Oh shit. Billy! What’re you doing here?”
“My sister is friends with the guy who’s throwing the party.” He answered.
“Yeah man, that’s tight. So that was a kickass fight today. You killed him.”
“It was alright. I’ve had better fights though.”
“But still…”
“Hey look, I actually got to go find my sister. I want to introduce him to this dude I met earlier. I think she’d like him. I’ll catch you later though man, alright?”
“Yeah, alright. Later Billy.”
“So what do you want to do?” I asked Candy.
“I just want to be with you.” God, that smile.
We sat on the couch in one of the living rooms and there were a few other people on there as well but they were too drunk to realize anything. We pushed them to the side and made room for us. I pulled out my case of wrapping paper and a bag of weed. We took turns and smoked the joint while everything else just sped by us. Everybody else was just a blur moving in slow motion. When I looked at Candy, she was flawlessly clear.
“Hey, I’m going to go find the john. I’ll be back in a few minutes alright?”
“Yeah, sure.”
I sat up and walked towards the kitchen to where I thought the toilet was. I asked several people but none of them either seemed to know or didn’t feel like helping a stranger out. I finally found it and there was a small line of two people waiting to go as well. It was cool. I could hold it for a few minutes. I looked around at the pictures on the wall. There was one of two little kids standing in front of Mt. Rushmore. It appeared an old photograph. Probably a grandparent or something. One person in line. Next to that picture was a oil canvas painting of a dog that resembled a yellow lab. I was up.
I had left the bathroom and was on my way looking for Candy. I got to the couch where she had been sitting earlier.
“Hey, sorry I took so long but…” I stopped because I noticed that Candy wasn’t there anymore.
“Um, hey bro, but did you see a young girl here. She was sitting right here 10 minutes ago.” I asked, slightly annoyed.
“Yeah dude. I uh think she um went over there.”
“Over where?”
“I don’t know man, what’s up with the interrogation. I don’t know where she is!”
“All right then.”
I walked around. It felt awkward to not know anybody there. I had asked people if they knew a Candy. Nobody seemed to know who she was. I kept walking around, checking all of the bedrooms and bathrooms to see if she had been in one of them. I searched the second floor but she hadn’t been up there. I then decided to explore the basement. There was about 12 kids sitting on 2 sofa around a glass table. Cocaine lines were scattered around the table and there she was.
“What the fuck Candy! What are you doing?” I screamed.
“Oh hey, this is Cody and over there is Michelle and that is um…I forgot. What’s your name again?
“Sarah” responded the brunette headed stranger.
She almost looked pathetic with the white powder around the sides of her. I ran back up the stairs and left the house. I walked towards the fountain in the front of the yard. I sat with my back against it for almost an hour.
I shouldn’t have been mad at her. I’ve done coke before. What’s wrong with m? NO! she’s only thirteen years old. I did it when I was 16. Ugh, still that’s no difference.
I felt a little ashamed at just leaving her like that. I decided to go back and apologize. I went back into the basement to find ten crackheads either passed out or doing what was left of the coke. Candy wasn’t there. I thought maybe she had gone out to look for me. I looked all around for her again. Normally, I would’ve gotten even more annoyed by having to look for her twice but I felt that somehow I needed to redeem myself for just snapping on her like that. Tears ran down from my cheek. Partially because that was the first time I ever yelled at her like that and also because I couldn’t let her become like one of those people whose sole life purpose is to do more drugs than the other guy. Whatever. All that mattered now was finding her. I went back to the sofa to see if maybe she had returned with the passed out drunk guys but she wasn’t there. I went back upstairs to check the remaining bathroom to see if maybe she was in there. I hoped she wasn’t in there doing heroin this time. That would’ve killed me. I opened the door to find the bathroom empty. This slightly made me happier knowing that she wasn’t into more drugs but also made me more frustrated that I still couldn’t find her.
I then checked the master bedroom. There she was, naked, on top of another man. I recognized him, it was Cody, the crackhead who she was sitting next to down in the basement.
“Fucking bitch!” I roared.
I grabbed her by the hair and threw her behind me. Then I focused my attention on the man who she was fucking. I punched his face repeatedly until blood started gushing from his nose. I didn’t care. I then raised my knee and gave him a good shot right in the ribs. His screams cried out for help. I pulled him off of the bed and started stomping him in the stomach. Cody was now coughing up blood. He’s had enough. I didn’t want to kill him.
I then turned to Candy.
“What’s wrong with you? I thought you loved me!” I cried.
She didn’t respond. It was then I noticed the trail of blood coming from her head. She wasn’t moving. I looked up at the dresser and saw that blood was running down the side of it.
“NO. NO. FUCK!” I started crying.
I sat back and looked at the bodies around me. There were people standing in the doorway. The screams must’ve attracted them. They were silent. I couldn’t stay here. I headed for the door. Running scared.
“Trish, call the police!” I heard as I headed out the front door.
The key had a hard time going into the ignition. It went in after a battle and I sped off to my house.
I quietly headed into my room and the tears ran down my face and soaked into the carpet. NO, what have I done. I killed her. Fuck, I killed her. No matter how many times I thought those words through my mind, they would always have the same impact. I headed down into the basement to Larry’s gun cabinet. I found his pistol and took it back upstairs with me. I closed the door lightly and accidentally bumped the play button on my stereo. I sat down onto my bed, cross-legged. I heard the sirens coming down my street. They were fast. I placed the barrel in my mouth. The sounds of Elliot Smith quietly echoed in the background as I sat alone on the bed.