Promises

Promises


Promises to love me, to care for me in sickness and in heath, to cherish me till death do us part, I suppose thats how it goes.  I held you close to my heart and through it all,the hard roads and the long hours and days you went away I cryed for you to come back to me to hold me in your arms and never leave again.  And then you left me again this time you left me wounded and torn, A place where no one person can feel joy waiting for the day you return.  I wept for you,I wrote you,we talked, we laughed, I wanted to be a wife and a mother since I can remember.  I just needed a promise a devotion to believe in.  I needed hope that no one can touch me as long as I'm with you.  I wanted reasurance, I felt a wilt of dieing need to touch you to be near you, then just like that my hopes my dreams of the life I so prayed for wanted was gone.  I wished upon a star that somewhere where ever you were that you would think of me.  I thought I could be enough.  I would do anything,  I would promise you the moon, my loyalty, faithfullness, my heart for all eternity.  Instead I chose the path of drinking, drugs, and an unfaithfull spouse.  I did this to myself.  you knew this would happen, I couldn't contain you, keep you happy in my heart, I guess I knew there would be no one person that wouldn't hurt me.  You proved hate to me you showed me Love is just an illusion, a thought of expression, nothing more than 3 little words filled with a hollow echo of I'm sorry's.  No one is perfect no one is fooled.  Things can't get any better than this right?  I'm nothing in your eyes.  I talk to you and it angers me, I want to give you a chance to love me but your so not persistant.  Your whole heart was never in US.  Then you left me with empty promises.  One night with a stranger was more than a million with me.  I was your first, that meant something to me.  More than you will ever know.  What else is out there, for me, for you?  This isn't at all how you imagined how life was suppose to be, one girl for the rest of your life?  Did you think you were deprived?  Well to many you, would be lucky.  There are people with values out there and I may not be perfect but at least I know what I had.  things did need to change but not this way, not like this.  You have shown me how low I am on your list of friends, your trust in me is as little as you think of me. I am a mear consistancy in you path of evolvment