Zeus' life isn't so unusual |
The morning started as usual, Apollo mounted and rode his chariot across the sky. The sun's bright rays woke the mighty Zeus, and with a great yawn, accidentally shattered a goat. "whoops" and with a shrug, simply dismissed it. After all, what was a mere goat to a God? If he wanted another, he could simply make one. He began the day by getting dressed. He shed his night robe, and dressed himself in the finest clothes in all of the world, the finest in Olympus. They were spun from the purest, and shiniest gold ever found. He put on his socks last, first the right, but then…no left sock! “AHHHHH!” Zeus shouted in utter rage, shaking his fists at nothing over his head. (Not that it matters, but 19 volcanoes went off because of that yell, also that is why we now have Hawaii.) He assumed that it was lost under his bed or some other piece of grand furniture, so naturally, he blew them up. Nothing, not a single golden stitch. “Hera! Have you seen my golden left sock?” “Check the fridge dear!” “Why would it be in the fridge?” “I have no idea, it’s just that what your looking for is always in the last place you would think to look.” “Oh” Zeus walked up to the fridge, and opened it. “I think I see it.” he said. He pushed the apples out of the way, and the orange juice, and the T.V. remote, and the Chimpanzee meat. There it was! He put his cooled sock on, and rubbed his stomach. “What’s for breakfast?” “Why are you asking me, because I’m a woman? Why do women always have to do household things for you pigs?” “You mean men?” “No I mean PIGS, because you’re fat and do nothing!” “That’s nonsense!” “Enough! I can’t take any more of this disgusting sexism! I’m going to my mothers!” She flew out the window, and in moments was too far away to see, even with Zeus’ eyes. “Psycho.” Zeus said as he rolled his eyes. “Time for pizza! HERMES!” he shouted with gusto. “Yes your Godliness?” Asked Hermes once he arrived. “Get me some pizza, all pepperoni, half with sausage, and one quarter olive.” “Isn’t it a bit early for pizza sir?” “It’s never too early for pizza!” “Yes sir, of course sir.” Hermes was out the window in a flash, and Zeus sat down with a plate eagerly waiting for his pizza. To be continued... |