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I haven't decided if this is finished yet |
Okay, here's the decisions I have yet to make: 1. Is it good the way it is? 2. Should I add the ending that you will read at the end (ending at the end, I'm risky like that) 3. If I do add the ending should it stand alone, or should I add another verse before it? Anyway here goes: The clanking of the old man's cane Against the cold, dormant concrete Resounds through the empty buildings But startles no one to their feet The young, they look on past him As if he's miles away No one even holds the door No one has anything to say Is life so distant Is it so unfortunate This is nothing he could tell It's just how God has portioned it But try to find a cross Dangling from his neck Along with all the heads that never turn He'll never find a speck With every locket opened All the pictures crammed inside The faces of all these smiles And all these smiles lied The snake is coiled in the grass The strike is strong and swift After all the venom's run its course The head of death can lift And lift it shall Upon the wings of falcons on a cliff The speed at which the ground is hit Could make the winds change shift Looking deep into those eyes Those brown and witless eyes Shifting from side to side Can they see his longing cries The pain of emptiness Drives him through the door Death is so frightening When there's nothing left, but more Fishing with no net Is said to leave so much behind But he is falling to his tragedy He is not losing his mind The smash of tree limbs Banging out their mourning From some lonely hurricane That every life is forming But all those rabid leaves Foaming at the mouth Biting at all those flying freedoms Migrating ungratefully south With all these freedoms Floating with the wind Everything worth grabbing Is another moment sinned When open fingers close their grip And everything slips through Another sleepless beast Is plunging forward too In every empty grasp There's food between its teeth And that's when he looks around His heart begins to seethe Potential ending: I can hear the clanking from the old man's cane It seems so nearby Everything about it scares me What's it mean to die? I don't know if I want this in it or not... Tell me what you think, please. |