The Tears of Crimson

The cool breeze brushed by her as she unlocked the door, or attempted to do so at least. She mumbled under her breath. It would not have angered her so if she was not by herself; that alone put her in low spirits. The slight wind was neither cold nor unpleasant, but her mood in combination with the key stuck in the door again was enough to bring her too close to a stressed rage.  An aggravated sigh was uttered and as if to answer her, the door crept open.
         She caught the doorknob and forced her foot into the apartment, blocking her cat Genevieve, from darting outside. She shut the door hastily as a thousand thoughts raced through her mind. Her tired, blue eyes scanned her living room. His stuff was still here. Tears welled in her eyes. Leaning backwards, she pressed herself against the door and slid down until she was sitting. She buried her head in her hands and sobbed. Genevieve purred and bumped her head against her owner’s ankle. The silence was deafening. All that was audible was Talon, her pet rat, scurrying in his cage, Genevieve purring, and her own cries of pain. However, such silence did not last long. The phone abruptly rang forcing her to make a choice. She did not care that her phone was ringing. That’s why 
some genius invented answering machines.
         “Hello, no one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone. BEEP!!!!”
         “Crimson, it’s me, Preston. I know you’re angry but…”
         She jerked up the phone. “What do you want now?” She choked on the words as fiery tears streamed down her cheeks.
         “Hey, Baby. I—“
         “Don’t you dare  ‘hey, Baby’ me!” She shrieked as her tears became blinding. “After all you’ve done to me?”
         “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—“
         “To what? Hurt me?” A false laugh escaped as she became hysterical. She could not do this.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.” He stumbled on his own words. Why was it so difficult to just tell her he wanted her back? “All I wanted was to tell you I’m sorry and I love you.” A smile curled across his face. Crimson had always enjoyed hearing that some one cared for her. He knew exactly how to get to her.
As if she could hear his thoughts, her rejoinder was not only out of anger, but truth. “ Not this time, Preston. It’s not gonna work. You don’t even have a heart to love with! I know because you are just like me.”
On the other end of the phone, Preston’s mouth hung open. How could she have seen through him? Of course this was the third time in the last year that she learned of his cheating. She was thirteen when her idiot of a mother allowed her to date him for the first time. He was beginning to believe that Crimson was just as naive as her mother. However, she was proving him wrong.
Her tears had subsided. Anger alone boiled out of her eyes. Crimson’s lips trembled, oh, how could I have ever been so foolish! She thought. Why had she even gave him a second chance? And a third if that wasn’t bad enough? On top of everything, this was their 5th year anniversary, July 21. He had some nerve!
“Look, Crimson, I know you’re a little bit angry—“
“ ‘A little bit angry’!!! I caught you on my couch with that,” in her anger she stuttered, “that piece of trash co-worker of yours! Not once, but three times!”
“Hey now, the third time it wasn’t Bridgett. It was Nicole.”
She screamed in fury, and Victor, her pet ball python, fell off of the artificial tree limb in his aquarium as a result. Preston extended his arm and winced. How soon he had forgotten that her voice was so loud and full. He calmly waited for her to silence herself. On the other end she asked herself why she even bothered talking to him.
In a patronizing tone of false serenity she spoke again. “I don’t care which trashy woman I caught you with which time. All I wanted was for you to get your JUNK,” with this she again began to shout. “And get out of my life!” She hung up the phone and slammed it onto the table before her.
Breathe, Crimson. Calm down. She told herself. You just need to let him go.
Tears immediately streamed down her face. She broke again. “I can’t live without him! What’s left of my heart can’t beat without him.” In her mind he was the blood flowing through her veins. “Five years I have been his. I don’t know how to be me without him!”
She began to think about her options. Maybe if she called him back soon enough, he would take her back. No! She could not do that to herself, not again. You have tried for happiness for far too long. It’s almost over.
She used to be so happy and never over reacted. Ever since she and that pathetic excuse for a human being started dating, her life had been miserable. She held on out of her paranoia. Her doctor had told her that her utter and complete fear of being alone was classified as paranoia. She was afraid that if she let him walk away, she would never find another to take his place. However, this time, she was finished.
In a furious passion, she stormed through her apartment, collecting anything connected to him. She wanted him out as soon as possible. All of his clothes, his music, his pictures, everything. She threw it in the box. One box after another until four were filled and in the trunk of her dark blue Accord.
She snatched her keys off of the floor, gently tapped Genevieve on the head, and walked out her front door. She locked the door with determined haste and headed for her car.
The drive to his brother’s place was short and relaxing. She knew that was where he would be, because Jon always took him in after he and Crimson had a “disagreement”. When she arrived she noticed that Preston’s car was gone. Oh well, she thought. I’m already here; why not give Jon his mess.
She parked the car and popped open the trunk. Gathering his things, she realized someone was on the front porch. She turned around slowly as she slightly moved her lips in effort to ask Jon for help. When she finally looked up, the face of the man was not Jon’s but Preston’s.
“What are you doing here?” She asked wrinkling her brow and jutting her jaw outward in frustration.
“I was beginning to ask you the same thing. Jon took my car to put gas in it and get something for supper. I can only assume that is what you are referring to.” Preston replied scanning her, noticing the box she held. “Would you like some help?”
“It’s your stuff. If you want to help me, that’s fine. I really don’t care.”
He was walking towards her. She shoved the first box into his arms and piled another on top. She took the last two boxes in her arms. Following him in the house, she set the boxes down next to the two he was carrying.
He wanted to keep her. What would he do if this was truly the end? He had to stall her.
“Would you like something to drink?” He asked as he shot his eyes in to the kitchen.
“No, I would like very much to go home though.”
“Are you leaving me, Crimson?” He could not look at her. His head hung as he stared at his feet.
“Yes. Yes, I am. You have taken me for granted and abused me, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I’m tired of your lies and manipulation. This is the end. It’s all over.”
She turned and walked out the door. It slammed shut behind her. The only tears shed were his, he had held on because he thought she would do the same. Had he really never truly loved her? All he knew was the pain of being alone was unbearable. Is this his punishment for using her?
He ran out of the house after her, wiping the tears from his eyes. It was beginning to rain as he walked into the yard.
“Crimson!” He called to her as he choked on the words. “Do you still love me?”
“Preston, you don’t spend five years with some one and have the love dissolve. Of course I still love you, but that’s the problem. I don’t want to love you any more. I’m sick of this love; all it does is bring me pain.”
She ducked her head in the car and started up. The rain began to fall all around in a striking passion. She pulled out of the drive way as Preston watched her leave. His tears became blinding and he stumbled towards the moving car. Falling to his knees, he looked towards the sky. She glanced backward only once to notice that tonight, only Preston and the sky were crying.