a soldier's angel once, I fell... |
I had a husband once, dread the word and run away - he opened my eyes and cursed my sight My brain, my head scream at the remembered times. He broke me, hatred felt for the first - time won't heal the scars he dared inflict; eternal echoing screams of pain. I loved him! He destroyed me...I destroyed myself. In my head the lingering thoughts are unescapable although I try to flee. I need him still. I cannot run - He haunts my dreams with happy times! I cannot turn away. He gave me joy (again the first) - with love complete, completely destroyed all peace of mind. He was a soldier when I met him. I loved him from the first unending glance - when eyes met, so opposite. He was everything I'd never been, and could be everything I never would. I loved him for it. Needed him to be it. When we made love the world ceased and heavens melted for us!... We played. I'd never played before, like that - childhood sweethearts or the best of friends. I trusted him, myself with him. Storms galloped around us in frenzied stampede. There was no fear. He was a man. Never before, nor not once since have those words described a male in my company. Worlds stretched before - We would conquer! Till he conquered my body then spirit; my world. He bent me to his will, then he lost his will - to love, to live Then tossed away everything. I begged him. I was on my hands and knees sobbing, begging, pleading forgiveness; I had committed no crime. No sin from my lips was passed, but the pledge of myself. And he took myself, my reality, the ground - from my feet - I floated in his dreamworld A waif; I danced to the music he told me I heard. Twisted, charmed the snakes weave to the Piper's song. You took away my desire. You took away my love! You tore from me my sanctuary And left me anyway. I was your silver angel. I watched o'er you midst silver wings and sunstreamed rays of golden Hope. Unconditional my love of you a flame encased in glass, protected in life giving light 'midst cyclone's howl. But You shattered the glass in every fit of brutal rage, you beat upon it till finally - Burst! and now Bloodied form adrift (where wings once graced the strongest back and dirt smeared face and circled eyes where once - grace - smiled, joy's tears), broken spine which once arched beneath! Rising smoke drenched, haunting waif borne. |