To YoU…

It’s been a long-long night

and I have seen many dreams in my eyes.

Though I haven’t slept a wink all night,

I dreamt it all with open eyes.





To feel so much and yet be aloof,

the strings tug at my heart, 

and cause so much pain.

To read something totally different

and feel as if you were there,

is something that puzzles me no end.

As my heavy eyelids droop

and I push back the eager tears,

I feel my head throb with pain   

and the turmoil deepens within me. 

It feels like a storm Inside.

I look at myself in the mirror, 

helpless, I look into those pleading eyes.

I feel the pain but can't find the way out. 

As I let out a deep sigh,

my mind works overtime.

All the memories are jumbled up

and I strive to clear the picture in there.

To know what I really want

is something I've never succeeded at 

and when I decided to do it for another,

something broke in my heart.

When the glass was given without the wine,

my dry lips parted in despair.

Voice so choked to even utter a sob,

I cried within my mind.

And yet I couldn't hold back the tears   

I fought them.. but Ah! What irony!           

Either way it was me who had to lose.





Looking back at the days gone by

I wonder where I went wrong.

Though careless as ever, I took a path unknown,

I tried all I could to mend the broken pieces.

Yet, when I look behind,

all I see are ruined lives,                                                               

The smile morphing into a frown,

those bright eyes turn into swollen pits,

and the loquacious one turn silent.

Oh! it hurts so....

It hurts so…

When I see the ugly smile behind it all

and hear the peals of laughter. 

It deafens me with its mounting resonance.

I shut my ears and try to drive it away. 

Yet, I see it everywhere, hear it everywhere,

and it leaves my cheeks damp tonight.

I make no efforts to fight anymore.

Resign to my fate is all I do now   

but this brings back memories along

as I remember the pain the resignation caused.

Oh! I wonder how I got out alive through it all.

For once, I thought I would choke myself to death.

Oh I marvel! Yes, I marvel!

For all I couldn’t be, I have learned one thing,

I can speak through my tears and make someone smile.

Ah! Ha! am I going insane?

Oh...what relief it would be.

Am tired of being sane for so long.

Insanity would let me live

and then, I can smile through my tears

and no one will gape or exclaim.

They'll laugh and I'll laugh with them,

and the world would be a better place.

Wouldn’t it Be??





Oh, how it hurts

to relive those memories,

to dream and smile

and to be shaken out of it,

to face the Reality and yet smile.

Smile like I’m insane.

But I’m still sane, am I not?

Ha! sane? Insane? ..ha! ha!





Oh! On such a beautiful journey,

the entire world’s my oyster

and I rotate it on my fingertips,

I laugh out loud,

and I laugh some more

while everyone looks on

and I yell at them.

Look, I’ve all the power.

ALL THE POWER!!!

I can be all I want to be

and I can be what I’ve never been

I can be what I never can be.

Ha! See, can you Be?

So tell me who’s superior

and I laugh uncontrollably

and fall down laughing.

I roll onto the floor

as tears stream down my cheeks

and now I lie there, silent.

As I look up at the endless sky,

I cry some more

As I Wonder “where’s my sky?”

Where Is my sky??

A little drop hits my face

and mingles with the tears.

Soon I find myself soaking.

Slowly, I sit up and finally stand.

I close my eyes and open my arms,

tilt my face upwards and Feel…

Feel the feeling

Can you tell which drop is my Tear?

Can you?

Ha! Tell me then, who is powerful?



Down on my knees, I fold my hands

as I listen to the sound of the drops falling on the earth

I remain silent and listen,

listen to myself, my inner Self.

Talking to me, whispering

I try to listen to It

despite all the hullabaloo around me 

and then I scream out loud

Oh! Go away! let me be!

but instead of the silence

I hear the frantic cries

and I find myself in someone’s arms.

I struggle to get out of those

but I’m held tight

and I scream again

But my plea falls on deaf ears

and I resign all over again

to my fate

and this time I’m quiet, very quiet.

I no longer cry,

I no longer laugh.

I look up at the ceiling

and a lonely tear finds its way out.

I want to wipe it away but I can’t.

I want to run, to run away, I can’t.

I wanna scream ‘cause of the pain,

I can’t hear my voice

even though I am screaming inside,

I wanna hear, I wanna touch

but all I hear is my heavy breath

and all I touch is the damp bedsheet….



I lie there with my eyes open wide

as I hear a faint voice.

It’s talking to me and I strain to listen

but I can’t make out the words.

I try hard but alas!

Once again, I resign, to my fate.

This time never to scream or to cry

I resign

                    To

                            YOU…..