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Rated: E · Chapter · Biographical · #1232688
Chapter 5 of "They don't call you to the office to tell you great job." Please R&R!
Chapter 5

The first thing I can remember is about four days later. I spent three days in the neuro-ICU, and then was moved to a regular ward. I guess I spent most of those four days totally out of my head, saying really outlandish things that I still get made fun of about. Here are just a few examples. Here is the scene: my mom came to see me in the neuro-ICU. It was around 7:30, and she told me that we had the following conversation. I don't remember it, so I deny it happened!

"Oh finally! Someone with a pulse!" (That was my greeting.)
"Well who have you been talking to that doesn't have a pulse?" she asked, with a rather confused look on her face.
"Dead rock stars." I told her.
"Which ones?" she asked.
"John Lennon."
"Well what did he tell you?" (I think she was getting curious now, or getting ready to call the nurse for anti-psych meds.)
"He told me to wash the dishes." I told her very matter-of-factly.

I don't know if this next one happened that day, or not. I was still in the neuro-ICU, and we had another outlandish conversation. Again, I don't remember it, so I deny it happened!

"They're coming." (Apparently this was said with a strange paranoid look on my face."
"Who's coming Beth?" she asked.
"The aliens."
"Why are the aliens coming?"
"They're coming to take Monopoly."
You know, I have a wonderful mom. Just to make sure that I knew the aliens didn't get Monopoly, she bought me a copy of the game. And along with the game came a retelling of the story so everyone could get a good giggle off of it.

I also asked Chad to stay with me one night, because he had to protect me from the squirrels that ran into my TV. They would come out and get me if he left. He was such a wonderful guy, he stayed with me that entire night, at least untill he had to leave to go to work.

The funniest incident happened when I got to take my first shower after the surgery. Mom took me into the shower room, and sat me down on the shower chair, and I guess as soon as the water hit me, I started singing at the top of my lungs, “Ring my BEELLLLLL, Ring my bell!” When mom told the doctors about it later, they just laughed, because apparently that song had been playing in the operating room while they worked on me. Mom just thought that was hilarious, let me tell you!

Chad spent as much time as he could with me while I was in the hospital, and he didn’t forget about the bear. When I finally woke up for real, there was this really cute bear sitting on my bedside tray. That bear was my constant nighttime companion from that moment on. He even stayed until I fell asleep two or three nights, even though he had a two hour drive to get home. One night, he was sleeping in the chair next to the bed holding my hand, and the nurse came in to take my vitals. She took Chad’s instead. Apparently she was really tired!

After spending about a week in the hospital, I was released into my mother’s care. The doctors told her that she could take better care of me then the hospital would, and she knew what signs to watch for, so it just worked out perfectly. So, off the Woody family went, back home.

I didn’t know this until much later, but apparently there were some major potential side effects for my procedure. I could have been a vegetable, or been paralyzed, or other bad things like that. I lucked out though. The only side effects I had to deal with was REALLY bad double vision-bad enough that I had to wear an eye patch to see anything. And since you need both eyes for binocular vision-and depth perception-driving was out of the question for the indefinite future.

I had also lost most of my memories of my past. Everything from before the last surgery was fair game, but most of what I lost was my life before I graduated from high school. Pretty much my entire life before 1998 was just a big blank hole. My entire childhood, most of high school, and a good part of the time I was crazy. It is really disconcerting to have people walk up to you and start talking to you like they know you, but you don't have a clue who they are. You never get used to that. It also messes with you to look at family pictures, and you are in the picture, but you have no idea who the other people are, or where the picture was taken. You don't get used to that either. Just for fun, I also now had about a 25 second short-term memory. Literally. It was lots of fun, let me tell you!

With all the things wrong, at least I was alive, and it looked like they had gotten all of the tumor out. So, other then having to take anti-seziure meds to prevent any possibility of a seizure, and pain pills for my headaches, I got to go home pretty much without empediment, just in time for my 21st birthday, and start the long process of recovery.
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