scars

Scars

I look at my body and I see scars,
yet they are not visible to the naïve person.
Yes I have scars that mark my body,
but those aren’t the self inflicted ones.
My self inflicted scars,
run deep within my body,
where no one can see them,
unless I tell them.
Sometimes invisible scars,
are the most harmful,
cause if no one can see them, no one can help me.
No one can give me the support I need.

Showing my true self,
was the hardest thing I have ever done.
I tried to keep it hidden, all to my self,
for way too long.
Hiding it till I burst,
till I cracked and couldn’t take it anymore,
I had to tell someone.
My fear was, and still is, that people will see me differently,
never again treat me the same.
Heck, how can they not?
I didn’t even know what I was doing was wrong.

Once people know the real me,
they will always be suspicious.
Second guessing my every move,
my every cut and bruise.
Making sure that I am keeping my promise,
and not resorting back to my old ways.
Worrying for my safety while they try to help me,
Knocking sense into me, when I am stubborn,
until I agree with them.