The Incident

A story of losing control

She just didn’t understand, when I get angry all I see is red, my mind goes blank and the world blurs. I tried to convince her that I didn’t mean to hurt anyone. If I were her I don’t know if I would have believed me either.

“So you’re trying to tell me that he just wound up on the floor knocked out,” the police officer asked with a hint of sarcasm.

“Look, I know it sound strange but I don’t remember. All I remember was us having a fight because he said he was leaving me. I lost my cool and that was it.” This was the truth.

“And why was he leaving?"

“Because SHE asked him to move in!” I began getting angry again. Keep it together, Sam, I kept saying to myself. I knew if I got that angry again I would be in even more trouble. “That’s why I got mad. He’s been seeing Her for a few months now. I wanted it to be over between the two of them. Then, what he said next flipped the switch. He said, ‘I don’t know why I wasted my time with a fat BITCH like you!’ And that was it. My anger boiled over like water in a pot. My peripheral vision blurred. And I became acutely aware of every line in his face, every wrinkle in his clothes, every strand of hair on his head. Then, before my vision completely when blank, I remember lunging at him, a scream like an angry animal rising from my throat. When my vision cleared, I was sitting on my bed wondering how I got there. My hands ached, but I didn’t know why. I had such a bad headache, as though someone had hit me with a sledge hammer. Then I remembered our fight. I picked up the phone and dialed his cell, hoping that some how I could fix the mess I’m sure I had made. As the phone began to ring in my ear, I noticed the sound of my husband’s ring tone resonating down the hall. I dropped the receiver and ran toward the sound. That’s when I found him lying there and then, I called you guys.”

“Listen,” her partner chimed in. His brown eyes looked like two little marbles in his big head. “We know your lying. Just tell the truth and maybe we can make a deal.”

“I’m not lying!” My anger was starting to boil again. Keep it together, Sam, keep it together.

“Tell the TRUTH!!”

“I’m not lying!!!” And that was it. I saw red for the second time.

And that’s how I ended up here in good ol’ Brook County Psychiatric. Telling my story to all you wonderful people, who are all thinking ‘Man, she’s crazier than I am!”

They say I permanently scarred that officer when I threw him though the double sided mirror. But you have to believe me, I don’t remember what happened!