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A dog on heat prompts 'that conversation' between a mother and son. |
I’m so tired. Why cant’ they muzzle those barking dogs? “Thomas ….. Breakfast is ready.” “I'm here Mum. … Mum?” “Yes.” “Why is Whitney doing that?” “Doing what?” “Crying like that! And scratching at the door. She’s ruining it.” “She wants to go outside.” “What for?” “Honey, I’m really busy this morning.” Why now for this conversation! “But what is she doing?” “Did you hear those dogs howling last night?” “The Labradors? Baxter and Chester?” “Yes. Baxter and Chester.” “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep. What were they doing?” “They want Whitney to go and play with them.” “Huh? Why?” “Don’t scrunch up your nose like that! Because, they're her friends.” “Oh. ….. But they sounded like they were crying?” “They were crying honey.” “Why?” “Because…” Hmmm, I need to say this right... “Because Whitney did not come out to play when they called.” “Oh. …. But they don’t usually cry?” “I know.” “So why’d they do that?” “Because Thomas. They can smell her. She smells different at the moment.” “I can’t smell anything?” “But Baxter and Chester can. They can smell her and they want her to come and play.” I suppose it’s now or never! “Look Mummy, she’s crazy! She is sniffing under the door and scratching at it again!” “Whitney! Stop it.” As if, I don’t have enough to do this morning! “Mum? Why is Whitney crying again?” “Because Baxter and Chester are still calling her, and she is stuck inside.” “I’ll let her out then.” “That’s not a good idea Thomas. Please don’t.” “Why?” “Well, they don’t want to play like they normally do.” Will I get away with just that? “Huh?” Nope. I guess not. “Well, they want her to be their girlfriend.” “Huh?” “They want to kind of get married. They want her to come out so they can make puppies with her.” “Oh.” I think this might be the end of this. “Mum, these scrambled eggs are yumm.” Whew! “Thanks honey.” Is that it? “Use your fork Thomas.” “Mum? What exactly can Baxter and Chester smell?” Rats! “Well. Every few months, Whitney makes an egg. And when she does, she lets off a smell that only doggies can smell - to tell them. Because they can’t speak.” “Tell them what?” “To tell them it’s time to make baby dogs – Puppies!” “OOOOhhhh. Is that so they know when to sex her?” I can’t believe he said that. “Yes. But you can’t use the word sex like that.” “Huh?” “It’s not a verb. You have to say Is that so they know when to have sex with her.” “Whatever.” “You finished your eggs yet?” “Yes. … So … Mum?” “Yes honey.” “Are we going to let Whitney have sex with Baxter and Chester?” “No honey. I don’t want puppies.” Oops. Here we go. “But Mu-uum.” Be strong. “Time for school Thomas! Brush your teeth.” |