Gone From Sight Only

Gone From Sight Only

For Eileen, who so many loved.

It isn’t real; not yet.
But you aren’t there.
Not by the door,
Smiling as I walk in.

Not in your seat by the piano;
Watching the children.
You watched with pride and joy,
How we all grew.
I know you are still watching
From outside of our limited view.

You weren’t there
To ask about my sister.
Or to chat in the kitchen;
I did the teas and you washed up.

As the kitchen door opens;
I look for you with drinks
And I am hopeful.
You aren’t there
But until yesterday
You were on holiday.
You were coming back.

You didn’t return though.
My class couldn’t say it;
Thank you for the biscuits.
I wonder if they are grateful
For all the things they never knew.

As we celebrated your life,
I was still looking around for you.
There were so many people
But you weren’t there.

I sat at the back
And chatted to people;
It wasn’t real.
Until that moment;
That moment of cold realisation.
I knew why you weren’t there,
You were in that coffin.
How could a box of light wood
Contain someone so full of life?
In my mind I could see you
Lying there without that smile.
It wasn’t you though.
Now you sit by the glistening sea
Whilst that smile we saw
On the order of service
Watches for our boats to arrive
And you are happy;
I see that now.
I will smile as well.

I still can’t believe
That your light was extinguished,
Then I remember,
You live on.
And one day I will join you
But for now I will remember
Your smile, your laugh,
Your kindness and affection.
But most of all,
You saw the good in everyone
And loved unquestioningly.

I’ll get used to not seeing you
But I won’t forget you.
I will hold your memory sacred
Until I can join you in Paradise.

Now I know you can’t extinguish
A light like yours.
Everyday a new light is created
While another moves on
To spread its warm glow.

It’s not real or right
Because you aren’t there.

I cry when I see the coffin
And sing the hymns.
I don’t want to say goodbye
So I will say …
Until we meet again.