Ruined Inside

There's an empty room,
accross the way.
I'm wondering why I'm here,
why they insist I stay.
To be yelled at,
for what I already regret.
I tell them to move on,
but they think I'm asking to forget.
I've been troubled,
for more then a month or two.
It seems as if I'm still standing here,
just because of you.
It's hard to move on,
when your past yearns to excist.
When all the faith you have,
is about the size of your fist.
And when everything seems wrong,
I hold myself and cry.
But I never felt this wrecked,
and wish I'd just die.
My head is messed up,
and I just want to be alone.
I need to clear my mind,
yet she doesn't trust me out of home.
I messed up,
and I know it too well.
I'm nothing but fuck up,
can't they tell?
My excuses were lies,
my feelings seemed untrue.
But I still went on,
I still loved you.
Now that I know,
what I've become.
I'm afraid of being ruined inside,
afraid of being unloved.
I watched myself change,
into everything I hate.
I lost myself, my trust,
lost my thoughts, my fate.
I'm running on empty,
inside getting cold.
As the blood runs though my veins,
the feeling gets old.
I've been abligerated for days,
and still I urge for more.
I wonder why I'm doing this to myself,
as I lay still on the bedroom floor.
Another sleepless night passes by,
another night I see myself change.
Wondering if things will be okay this time,
if things will be back the same.
So, goodnight tears,
I'll cry you more tomorrow.
But for tonight,
I'll lay here and drown in my sorrow...