"My Family"

                                                “My Family”

         I work in a nursing home with many personalities ranging from demanding, impatient, combative, compulsive disordered to many more.  I take pride in myself by controlling my emotions.  I frequently have to bite my tongue from saying the wrong thing.  I simply smile and ask, “Is there anything else I can do for you, before I leave?”  A sales seminar that I attended taught that a technique called mirroring a person, taking on the other person’s personality, is a good way of building rapport.  This method may work well in sales, but in the medical field it is a completely different approach. 
         In every home, there is at least one person who thinks he or she moved into a mansion with an endless supply of butlers, waiters, and twenty-four hour servants.  Each room is supplied with a bell for a resident’s personal needs, such as getting in and out of bed and toileting.  However, for some people, ringing the bell is an opportunity to express demands on their servants. 
When I enter the room, I am greeted with a look of frustration.  “I rang my bell an hour ago and nobody came!  What took you so long?” she asks with sarcasm in her voice.  My heart begins pumping hard and I can feel my blood pressure rising by the seconds. 
I smile and respond sweetly, “I’m sorry, sweetheart what do you need?” 
She answers me in a matter-of-fact voice, “I want my nightgown on and my meds by 6:30 p.m., so I can fall asleep!” 
         “I will let the nurse know you want your pills by 6:30 p.m., but I can’t dress you in your nightgown until 7:00 p.m.,” I respond. 
         “What do you mean you can’t dress me in my nightgown before 7:00 p.m.?  This is ridiculous!” she yells loudly.  Unfortunately, the state requires that every resident is dressed in a shirt, pants, skirt, or dress before 7:00 p.m.  There are two exceptions to this rule.  The resident has to have a G-Tube or be sick.  After I explain this to the demanding person, she will continue ringing her bell until 7:00 p.m. demanding her nightgown.  This can make a long and tiring first four hours of the staff’s shift.
         Then there is the passive, easy-going, love-to-be-around personality.  These residents rarely complain about staff and their surroundings.  They are always saying thank-you and please.  These residents make you feel appreciated.  At night, you can always expect a kiss on the cheek and hug good night from them.
         “Do not come near me or I will smack you in the face.” is another personality.  This personality can be a little frightening and even funny at times.  I will never forget the day my co-worker asked me to help her with this type of personality.  The resident was sitting in the hall in her broda chair with a cup of pudding in hand.  Pudding was all over the resident’s clothes, so my co-worker and I wheeled the resident into her room.  We began cleaning the resident’s hands, face, and chair.  You can never reason with a combative personality, because he or she just wants to fight.  Therefore, the fight began.  Within a matter of minutes, this small, frail woman had the strength of ten men.  She began to scream, pinch, punch, slap, and kick both my co-worker and me at the same time.  We were so surprised that all we could do was laugh.  We barely avoided the blows, and both my co-worker and I ended up with a few bruises from this experience. 
         There is also the I-need-it-right-now personality.  On shower nights, these residents will ride their wheel chairs up and down the halls stalking your every move.  At first, they do not say anything to you; they just stare until eye contact is made.  Once eye contact is made, you are in big trouble.  “When are you going to give me a shower?” they ask. 
         “As soon as I get a chance, but there are a few things I need to do before I can give you a shower,” I tell them politely.
         “When will that be?” they ask.
         “I’m not sure, but I’ll try to give you a shower as soon as I can,” I tell them.  I try to continue with what I am doing at the time, but the impatient resident continues to follow me,  wanting to know how much longer I will be.  This makes it very difficult to get my work done. 
         My second favorite personalities are the residents with dementia.  They have a short-term memory of about twenty seconds and see things that just are not there.  One of my favorite residents has dementia and he refers to me as Tweedy or Linda.  Sometimes, I am his great granddaughter.  Other times I am just the Tweedy who takes care of him.  Another resident I take care of thinks I am his ex-wife, niece, and someone by the name of Sandy.  I learned early on dealing with this personality can be very simple.  First, do not try to snap these residents back into reality, because this just causes them a lot of confusion.  I do not mind being someone’s niece, ex-wife, or Tweedy as long as they are happy. 
         The not-so-clean personality is a little difficult to deal with.  No matter how many times you ask this person to shower, the answer is always NO!  While living in a nursing home, you only receive two showers a week.  Maybe this personality has a fear of water and soap.
         Compulsive disorder personalities can wear and tear on a person’s nerves throughout the night.  A person with this type of personality walks up and down the halls yelling at anyone who will listen.  Whenever he or she has to use the restroom, this resident feels the need to tell everyone.  For example, “Honey, I have to go potty,” he or she will say.  The staff hears the same comment at least fifty times or more a night.  Compulsive disorder personalities need to be watched carefully, because they are forever on the prowl for food.  They will sneak into other residents’ rooms asking for food and sometimes just taking food that does not belong to them. 
         My favorite personality is the person with multiple personalities and schizophrenia.  Sometimes, when I pass by the resident’s room I hear two people arguing.  I get concerned, so I knock on the door and walk in.  I notice only one person is in the room, not two, so I pretend I am checking on the roommate.  I simply say, “Hi, how are you today?”  He or she smiles and says, “I’m fine, how are you?”  If the schizophrenia personality is having a bad evening, you can expect an ear full during dinner.  He or she speaks his or her thoughts openly without knowing it.  It is very wise not to talk about your personal life with this type of personality.  The talk is usually about politics, sex, priests, and staff’s personal life, if the person knows anything about it.   
         Going to work is like an adventure.  I enjoy working with all of these different personalities every day.  I am truly amazed that so many people who are so different can live in one place and get along.  All of the residents I work with have taught me patience, compassion, empathy, and consideration for everyone.  Life is very interesting because of these wonderful people in my “family.”