Non-Fiction

It was a normal day at port. The sea crashed heavily on the shores of a rocky cliffside, and the sailors hustled and bustled about their daily buisness. But that was to be the day when the aliens attacked. Their target a simple crabbing boat.   

  As they landed a massive crash boomed around the harbour, everyone was used to it though. The aliens were twitching,sniffing and probably catching a death of a cold swimming to the crabbing boat... but still they went on! The crabbers were honest and as simple as can be but weren't half dimwitted.
  As the aliens swam nearer and nearer one of the crew members pulled them aboard. Seeing this sign of friendship the aliens made peace. It was all as happy as could be until one of the aliens found the crabbers tobacco. As he had seen the other members lighting the end on fire he did so. He tried and tried to light it but the howling wind and rain kept blowing it out again. By the time one of the crabbers realised what the alien was doing he had gotten through the whole packet. A massive fight broke out.
  The alien not knowing what he had done wrong, resorted to throwing the crabber into the sea when he punched him. When the other crabbers saw him do this they tried to throw him into the sea.(As I said they weren't very bright!) But a particular crabber Salmon Surprise (the surprise being he wasn't a salmon) hid in the cabin. 
  When the aliens were finished with the crabbers they smoked the tobacco happily but soon got addicted to it. And we all know how the aliens die in all the scary movies.The aliens eat or drink human food and this tobacco was a lot worse. One by one they dropped off with lung cancer and Salmon was still alive.
  When there was only one alien left already growing seriously weak he attacked. The fight was short the alien won, and went on to sail the seven seas and became Phileas Fog. You know the weirdo from Around the World in Eighty Days? So the point of this story is don't smoke tobacco.