What Have I Done?!

My heart beats in my hand

As my gloved hands are a resting place for my chin,

I half expect to not feel anything,

My death has come with childish anger

And now I'm left feeling more alone than ever,

I was foolish enough to listen to others

While completely ignoring what my heart said,

I cared about him so much but what others said hurt more,

Without thinking rationally I did a foolish thing,

Now I miss him more than ever,

If only I had known how he felt before,

I would never have said what I said,

Now my heart feels like it will burst any moment,

And I shake with the fear that tears will come soon,

I was going to give you everything I have,

But my immaturity has left me holding it in my hands,

Blowtorch my lips so that the flesh may melt together,

Rob me of my senses,

Cut me of my prejudices, my pride,

Leave me naked on the ground, dying in my own blood,

I will only think in my dyiing mind that its what I deserve.