The Booby and I

The new exchange student arrives - a blue-footed booby!

         Booby. The word kept going through my head. Dad and Mom were due back any moment with our new guest, a foreign exchange student from the Galapagos Islands. My brother, Derek, had left the day before for the Galapagos Islands as the other partner in the exchange.
         Booby. I couldn’t get over that word. Mom told me that my new roommate was a booby, but I didn’t know what she meant. Whoever this booby was, I hoped he liked to hang out at the mall, watch movies like “Star Wars”, or even help me with my homework. Middle school is a killer with the homework.
         When Dad and Mom got home, I was completely shocked by what walked in the door.
         “Shawn, I want you to meet Johnny,” Dad said. “He’ll be staying with us for a while.” My Dad and Mom stood beside a creature that was not quite knee high. It had a white body, gray wings, a grayish-blue beak, and – most eye catching of all – bright blue webbed feet.
         I stared at Johnny. “It’s a bird!”
         “He’s not an ‘it’. His name is Johnny and he’s a blue-footed booby. I also brought you a book all about boobies,” Mom said. She handed it to me, and I glanced at the cover. A blue-footed booby stared back. “But it’s time for dinner now. We’re having sardines tonight. You like fish don’t you, Johnny?”
         “Squawk!” Johnny answered.
         We sat down at the table, but I still couldn’t get over this blue-footed booby. He was a bird, and Dad and Mom were letting him do anything he wanted. He didn’t even have to sit at the table! No, Johnny stayed on the floor where my parents tossed him silver strips of sardine. Dad and Mom never threw food in the air for me to catch!
         “Isn’t he wonderful?” Mom exclaimed when Johnny caught another sardine.
         Just wonderful!
         When it was time for bed, Johnny had to stay in my room so he wouldn’t get lonely. I told my parents he would have more company outside in the yard, but they didn’t appreciate that suggestion.
         “This is my room,” I said to Johnny coldly. “You can take the floor.”
         Johnny didn’t seem to mind this at all. He went to a corner where I had dumped some dirty clothes and started arranging them into a neat pile. Then the booby started picking up pencils, Lego pieces, some kite string, and other objects I had lying around. I stared at him curiously as he carefully placed these on the pile of clothes. In no time at all, he had a nest, and was curled up in the middle of it, fast asleep.
         I shook my head and went to bed, but I had a hard time sleeping. Johnny would let out a low whistle every time he breathed. I was stuck with a snoring booby.
         The next morning, I woke up and groggily wandered to the bathroom. I opened the door, but someone was in there!
         “Squawk!” Johnny admonished. He was in the bathtub, splashing around. I had forgotten about my new roommate.
         “Sorry!” I stumbled backwards and closed the door. Kicked out of my own bathroom by a booby!
         Far too soon, after a breakfast of salmon – any more fish and I would start growing gills – it was time for school.
         I lived close enough that it was a quick five-minute walk, but today it seemed to take forever. There I was, walking down the sidewalk with a blue-footed booby, that didn’t exactly blend in, following close behind. A car almost crashed because the driver was staring at Johnny. I thought that was the most embarrassed I could ever get, but I was wrong.
         Nearing school, I began to jog, to put as much distance between me and the blue-footed booby. I hadn’t gone far when I again heard the sound of webbed feet padding along next to me.
         “What are you doing?” I hissed at Johnny.
         “Squawk.”
         “Fine. You can follow me to class. But don’t let it look like you’re with me.”
         I walked down the hallway with the blue-footed booby waddling beside me. I felt like the entire school was staring at me. Then I realized they were. I wanted to slip into a locker.
         But someone was blocking our path. It was Alex, only the most popular kid in school. There was no way this could get any worse.
         Johnny and I stopped and just stood there. The gathered crowd held its breath, waiting for Alex’s reaction.
         After a long moment Alex said, “What’s your friend’s name?”
         I answered quietly. “Johnny. Exchange student.”
         “I dig those blue feet, Johnny. Keep it up.”
         “Squawk!”
         Everyone in the hallway burst into chatter:  “Where’d he come from?” “Where’d he get those shoes?” “Sweet wings!” “His beak is so hot.”
         Johnny raised his beak to everyone we passed and called out, “Squawk!” He was the new big thing in school.
         Then we reached a group of girls, but my attention was on only one of them: Heather of the chestnut hair and perfect smile. To be more precise, my attention was not on her. I always ended up making a fool of myself around Heather, so I did my best to ignore her.
         “Hi, Shawn,” Heather said nonchalantly. She had seen me! I tried to stay cool.
         “What’s—” My throat seized up. I almost hacked out the last word. “—uuuupp!” I looked like a fool!
         “Nice one, dork.” That was Lindsay, Heather’s best friend. We didn’t like each other, and she did her best to make sure I was never comfortable around Heather.
         Johnny had remained silent. I looked down and saw him staring at Lindsay, who, along with being annoying, was known for her bright outfits, especially her colorful shoes.  Like the…blue…shoes she was wearing.
         Slowly, Johnny lifted up one webbed foot, put it down, raised the other, and repeated these steps. There was a blue-footed booby dancing in the hallway of my middle school. At one time, it would have seemed crazy, but right then it was all I could do to keep myself from laughing out loud.
         “What’s he doing?” Lindsay whispered.
         “I think he likes you,” I told her.
         Suddenly, the booby spread his wings. All of us jumped a little, startled. With his wings displayed, Johnny kept up the dance. Then he raised his beak and pointed it straight up at the ceiling. To top it off, he let out a loud whistle; once, then twice.
         “Shawn, your friend’s crazy!” Lindsay complained.
         “He must recognize his own species.”
         Heather laughed and my face got warm. It felt good that she had laughed at one of my jokes.
         “How do I get him to stop?” Lindsay asked.
         This seemed like a good chance to get back at her, to humiliate her a little. “Lift your feet, like Johnny is.”
         Lindsay did so. She looked ridiculous dancing with a blue-footed booby. Johnny suddenly stopped what he was doing. He turned around and waddled over to the lockers.
         “Finally!” Lindsay said.
         But Johnny wasn’t done. He found what he was looking for and came back to us, dropping an old pencil at Lindsay’s feet. Then he raised his head and whistled again.
         Lindsay sighed, “I thought he was finished.”
         “Pick up the pencil,” I told her. “Then he will be.”
         She did, and I started laughing.
         “What? What is it?” she asked.
         I remembered the book my mom had given me. “Now you’re married!”
         Lindsay stared at me for a moment, then threw down the pencil. “Humph!” She stomped off in her blue shoes.
         Johnny looked a bit crestfallen, and I tried to cheer him up. “Don’t worry, she really wasn’t your type.” I turned to Heather, who was still laughing. “See you in class later, Heather.”
         “Yeah. See you.” Then she smiled at me and, surprisingly, I didn’t trip over my own feet or do anything else stupid.
         In history class, Johnny was seated next to me. I was actually kind of glad he was there. He was turning out to be an all right guy…or bird.
         Mr. Bernstein, the teacher, asked, “Who can tell me the name of Charles’s Darwin’s ship?”
         Johnny raised his wing and answered, “Squawk!”
         “Correct, Johnny! It was The Beagle.”
         Mr. Bernstein continued with the lesson, but I saw that Johnny’s attention was now on something else. He had gotten up to watch the fish swim in the aquarium.
         “Johnny!” I whispered. “Leave them alone.” He gave a quiet squawk in frustration and sat down again.
         Next, it was gym class, my least favorite of the day. We were playing basketball that week and I was too short to be any good. Even some of the girls were better than me.
         Teams were picked and I ended up with Johnny on my team. I figured that, for once, I wouldn’t be the worst player, but I was wrong. A booby played basketball better than I did!
         Johnny figured out the game at once. He couldn’t dribble or shoot the ball, but he was very good at keeping the other team from scoring. He would waddle around and sneak in between people’s legs to steal the ball. The other team hated it. They said he was cheating. They claimed only humans could play basketball, but Johnny was allowed to keep playing. He did something else that they hated even more. Whenever they shot the ball, he just flew up and blocked it with his body. The other team yelled, “No fair! He’s not allowed to fly!” But it didn’t do any good.
         We ended up winning. It was the only time I ever won a basketball game. I was happy Johnny was on my team.
         At lunch time we headed for the cafeteria. When I reached the doors, I saw that Johnny was no longer with me.
         “Have you seen Johnny?” I asked a classmate.
         “He went in there.” He pointed to Mr. Bernstein’s room.
         “Oh no.”
         I hurried back to the classroom where my worst fear had come true. Johnny was swimming contently in the fish tank. From the original two dozen occupants, only one terrified little fish remained.
         “Johnny!” I exclaimed. “How could you?”
         “Squawk!” He didn’t think he had done anything wrong!
         “Let’s get out of here before Mr. Bernstein comes back!”
         Johnny hopped from the tank and waddled out the door after me.
         After that, he settled down and didn’t cause much more trouble, except for his “singing” in music class. He sounded like a Canadian goose with a bad lisp. Finally, the last class came and went and it was time to go home.
         After school, I usually disappear into the crowd as I walk home. But not today. Everyone had heard about Johnny and knew he was “Shawn’s friend”. People I didn’t even know waved and said Hey as they passed Johnny and me. Even Alex, the most popular kid in school, remembered my name.
         Then I saw Heather approaching. I swallowed and did my best to stay calm.
         “See you tomorrow, Shawn,” she said.
         “You, too.” I had done it! Twice in one day. I would no longer freeze with Heather around.
         Lindsay was with her. Johnny whistled and looked at her expectantly, but Lindsay quickly got on the other side of Heather and pretended he wasn’t there.
         As we left the girls, I looked down at the blue-footed booby waddling next to me. “Come on, buddy, let’s go home.”
         “Squawk!”
         When we got home, Mom asked, “How was your day? Johnny do all right?”
          “Yeah,” I smiled. “We had a good day.” We really had.          
         I headed upstairs, but Mom stopped me. “We got this in a letter from your brother today.” She handed me a photo.
         It was a shot of a Galapagos beach filled with blue-footed boobies. A few seals were splashing in the water and marine iguanas were lounging on the black lava rocks. There was a single human, my brother Derek, seated between a pair of boobies. He looked very uncomfortable.
         I turned the photo over, and on the back, Derek had scrawled: “I’m sick of all the fish!”