This was my first writing. |
I woke up early on Christmas morning and couldn’t believe my eyes. There were no soldiers on the road, no tanks and guns, no sound of bombings. After 5 long years would I have a real Christmas ... I wondered. Yes it was 5 years ago that it all started, when my world came crumbling around me... And along came crumbling down the walls of my home sweet home where I grew up, that bridge right across the Jhelum, that bridge on the foothills of most premier mountains I have ever seen, that bridge which was reminiscent of my imperious childhood because I grew up in the heaven of this middle earth. That bridge which seemed so unshakeable, an undefeatable stalwart, came crumbling down unsolicited along with hundreds it carried every day, as a proof of submission towards inhuman desires of this ‘Humane’ world. The war made me feel like an orphan; it made me feel like a foreigner stuck in a strange land alone. I was alone in my own land because I favored peace. I was left without any cult, creed or religion to follow. I was only left to hide. Somehow, I still believed in everything that tried to spread the message of peace, happiness and tranquility. But this morning it felt like I shared my thoughts and my world with everyone else. It felt different. For this morning I woke up in the wake of my dreams present in reality, the delusion of peace that I had every night was waiting outside. I have been following a ritual day and night since the commencement of the ‘great war of the Valley’ mainly to detach myself and my emotions from what was happening outside. I turned to Music. I had my record player and a dingy collection of old ’70s records, a heritage from my father. On the Christmas Eve I decided to play a special record that played a special song which said: Imagine there are no countries, It isn’t hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, No religion too, Imagine all the people Living life in peace... ...... ...You may say I’m a dreamer, But I’m not the only one, I hope some day you'll join us, And the world will live as one. With this song in the background, I lit a candle and I prayed. I prayed and hung a sock by the window in case Santa Claus risked coming here. I prayed and offered to do something in return if my wish was fulfilled. Then I increased the volume of my music player and slept half kneeling on the foot of the bed only to wake up in merry Christmas. Sometimes in the morning I use to wake up in the midst of misleading serenity, which was soon to be broken by the sound of mayhem. But, this morning I woke up in the sound of deafening silence and it stayed a little longer than normal such that I did not need my music. Have I gone deaf? To inspect the same, I decided to take a walk. I got my cap on, took my jacket and my ragged travel bag which contained every thing I cannot do without or lets just say that it contained the smidgen of my humanity and the legacy my difficult life had bequeathed – my records, along with everything necessary for my survival, that bag contained some things that the Great War was yet to take away out of everything I cared. I took my step outside and the world seemed to be on the mend. It was snowing slightly but the sun was out. The Great War was over. It felt unadulterated after years of monotony. The world seemed calm, it felt happy ... It felt real Christmas. I met some people and wished them well; I talked to some anxious kids and gave them candies I had. Then I saw that semi-broken bridge and started walking towards it. I knew what to do. I stood on the brink of that hapless bridge, opened my bag and took my gun out, which I seized from a dead soldier to use it in my self defense. For all these years I was afraid that what if I ever required to use it. I threw that fear as far away as I can into the river. It was in return of my wish I prayed for. As the previous night and for the last five Christmas eves I prayed for great war to get over so I could get rid of my fear of having to kill someone and cataloging myself as just another being part of this ‘humane’ world with inhuman desires. My wish was finally fulfilled, I felt purged. I closed my eyes and tried to hear the sound that river made. I stood there, to endure the gust of wind coming from the mountains. I stood there to smell the fresh air of my freedom in peace. |