Happy Mother's Day Moms to Both of You

Happy Mother's Day Moms--- to Both of You

Dear Moms...

I hope it's as nice up there as all the hype it got in Sunday School.

My main concern, though, isn't the accommodations. What I really want to know is how you guys are getting along with one another. It must have been awkward as hell when Birth Mom first met Step Mom.

Of course I assume you two passed the entrance exam, and that's nice. Since you were both good to me, I'd hate to think one made it and the other didn't. That would be a real bummer. But on the other hand, if one made it and the other didn't, I'd still have a 50/50 chance to see one of you some day regardless of where I go.

I suppose you've had a few rondo furiosos about who's responsible for the way I turned out. Forget it ladies. I did it my way. Mostly. (My wife took over where you left off.)

And you want to know something ironic? After all that stuff about flushing the toilet? Now they have a light that watches your backside and does it automatically when you walk away. 

Birth Mom, since you ladies preceded one another on the trip up by quite a few years, there must be a touch of bitterness about missing out on a lot. Now, Step Mom I know you're not the type to rub it in, but if you're ever tempted please remember Birth Mom's pain was your gain.

There are many mysteries I ponder about your habitat for post humanity. For example, how did you handle it when Dad showed up? Do they tolerate ménage a trois up there?

Not to worry. I can wait for the answer.

I love you both Moms. I hope I don't see you real soon.  Some day, yes. Soon? No.

Your loving son,

JR