Endless sky ; chapters 1 - 8

The Summary: Kinsey is a young adult who has had to deal with more things then a normal girl her age would have, at this time in her life she should be enjoying herself but somehow her past keeps coming back to haunt her.

Prologue: Kinsey Kelly sat on her double bed writing in her journal, which she did daily. She sat with her back touching the wall, her legs resting straight out in front of her and her feet up on two throw pillows, with her journal wide open on her legs. As she was writing, she came to a decision that once and for all that she would leave the only home in which she had known for the previous 18 years. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she recalled the last couple of years of pure torture, how she shed tears every night along with how several days she knew that even death would be better then the terror in which she lived in. She even tried a few times, failing again and again; the final time was about two weeks earlier. The cuts still showed on her arms like jagged lines on the street. She finished writing the last few lines of her journal entry and then snapped the book shut and threw it in her backpack. After looking one last time in the mirror, she let the door to her old life slam shut behind her.

Chapter 1

“Kinsey, Kinsey Kelly, Get your ass on stage” Screamed her manager, She quietly got up, taking one last glance in the mirror she walked down the corridor that led to the stage. The music was unbearably loud and the air smelled of a mixture of smoke and alcohol. But she danced, just as she had been doing for the last 2 and half years. She hated dancing and taking her clothes off in front of a bunch of old dirty strangers, however it was all she could do to keep her tiny apartment and in most part her sanity. After she was completed with her set, she ran off stage to the dressing room where she hastily got changed into her street clothes and she threw the costume she wore that night into the box marked dirty. As she was walking out the door she saw one of her co-workers, Candice, and decided to stay to talk to her, “Hey Candi” she said while greeting her friend with a hug and then sitting down in a chair. “How is it tonight” Candi asked, as she started to get changed. “Same faces, same old” Kinsey replied with a forced smile, “So any luck with finding a new job” Candi asked while changing into one of the skimpy outfits that she would be wearing that night. “No” Kinsey said with a sigh, “I wish I could get the hell out of here already, I am so sick of this job.” “Hey did you think anymore of what we talked about, maybe getting out of here with me?” Kinsey asked her friend, “Nah” Candi replied, “I am so used to the bullshit of this job and the money is really good, I’d rather stick with what I know”, “well listen Jeff is going to be yelling at me any second so I am going to go wait backstage, I’ll call you later” said Candi.

Kinsey walked outside to her car and got in, she started the engine and waited a bit for the car to warm up, while she was waiting she saw her friend James walk out the back door, she opened her window. “Hey, James, you want a ride” she asked, calling out to him from the window. “Sure” he replied, so she leaned over the seat to open the door and he got in, the car was warm enough by then so she pulled out of the parking lot and headed down Main Street. “Are you going straight home?” James asked while he unzipped his jacket, “Um I was going to get something to eat” she replied, turning the corner, “why, want to join me” she asked, secretly she was hoping that he would, she had, had a crush on him for the last year. “Yeah, I’m hungry” he said, rubbing his stomach. She stopped at a small diner between his house and the club.

The diner was strangely busy for 3 in the morning, but they got a booth in the far corner near a window. “So, Are you still looking for another job?” asked James, He was sitting across from her in the booth and they were chatting about work and different things, The question caught her off guard she didn’t even know that he knew she was looking for another job. “Yeah, It’s not going to well, I may have to stay at the club until I get my degree” she said. “Oh what are you going for?” He asked, “Physiology” she replied. At that point the waitress came, “what can I get for you two?” she took down their orders and left.

Kinsey pulled her wallet out of the book bag she took everywhere, and her journal fell out which she quickly shoved back in, she paid and they headed out. “Are you taking me home now?” James asked as they got in her car, “Yeah, I have to go to class, with no sleep again” she replied.

“Kinsey Kelly, Please stay after class, I need to speak with you” Her professor said as she walked past his desk, she stopped and listened to what he had to say, she was a bit uncomfortable as this professor knew her mom. “Kinsey, I am afraid you are 2 points away from failing my class and if you fail, I am going to have to drop you” He said with concern, “Is there something going on?” She shook her head, “its just work”. “Kinsey, Your mom and I were friends for a long time, you’re better then that”, “Mr. Nelson” she started, “Please call me Fred,” he said interrupting her. “Okay Fred, school is not free, to get a good education, I have to pay, college is not cheap,” she said hoping to end the conversation; she really did not want to get into her financial faults with him. She got up and smiled, “Look I need to get home and get some sleep, and I have to work tonight” He nodded and said “Kinsey you take care of yourself”. “I will” she replied as she walked out of the classroom and down the hallway.

“Kinsey, Kinsey” someone yelled from behind her, she turned around so fast that she nearly fell, she finally saw Carly Wilson, “Hey, what’s going on” she asked in surprise, “Oh I just wanted to warn you about the horrible blizzard outside, Be careful driving home and call the club before you go in, Jeff said he may close” Carly said, “Okay thank you” she replied and then turned around and headed out to her car. “She is so doing him,” she muttered as soon as the door closed, “of course she is” said a voice beside her. Kinsey whipped around and found herself looking into a pair of hazel eyes, “Oh hey James” she said pushing him, “you scared me to death, what are you doing here?” she asked playfully. “Oh, Looking for you, the club is closed, I just came from there” he said smiling, “so now that you don’t have to work, what are you doing tonight”.

Kinsey started walking to her car and told him to get In, “Nothing” she said, “well, do you want to go to Potters with me” He asked a pleading expression was on his face, He was referring to a club two hours away that was supposed to be the place to be on the weekends. Personally the last place she wanted to be in was a club, when she didn’t have to work, but she didn’t want to lose this opportunity to spend time with him so she forced a smile, and said “sure I would love to”, “Great” he said.

Chapter 2

The music pounded in her ears, vibrating her body from left to right, smoke surrounding her made the air thick and hard to breath in. As James spun her around him on the dance floor, she slowly forgot about how uncomfortable she was when they first arrived in the crowded club, less then 2 hours ago. “Hey, do you want to go now” James yelled over the loud music while leading her to the door, “Yeah” she muttered, realizing how late it was, but she still wanted to party and told him just that, He laughed. He thinks I’m just kidding she realized, “But I’m not kidding, I still want to spend time with him” she said to herself, “what did you say?” James asked, breaking her train of thought. “Nothing” she said.

She took the long way back to his apartment, not that she didn’t know a quicker way, she just wanted to spend more time with him and she hoped that he wasn’t paying attention. They finally got to his apartment, He must have noticed the upset look on her face because he asked her to pull in the parking lot and park, and “why don’t you come up with me” he said. They got out of the car and walked together, to the front of the building where the doorman let them in, they passed by an old woman in the lobby who gave James a weird look. When they got on the elevator, James admitted that the old women was a friend of his mothers and that he had never brought a girl to his apartment before, which made her smile.

She woke up the next morning in his arms with him still asleep but a huge smile on his face; she twisted her neck to see what time it was which woke him up. “We didn’t, did we?” she asked shyly, stuttering a bit, “No” he said shaking his head, “anyway I’m not the type of guy to do things on the first date”, “Good” she replied smiling. She wondered if she wished they had done something. “Are you leaving now” he asked giving her a little boy look, “what time is it” she asked rolling over, she was almost on top of him at that point. “Um” he said smiling and stretching over her a bit so he could see the clock. “It’s 10am,” he said, “Omg I am missing my class, but I didn’t want to go today anyways” She added, returning his smile.

“I am so uncomfortable right now, do you have a tee shirt that I can wear?” she asked him, He glanced at her and looked her over before nodding and getting up. “Here you go, it’s my favorite” He said and pointed her to the bathroom, she walked in the bathroom and closed the door. She glanced in the mirror and almost screamed at her reflection, Her blond hair was all over the place, it looked horrible, Her sparking green eyes were rimmed with dark circles and mascara streaked down her face. She quickly grabbed a few pieces of toilet paper and tried her best to clean herself up; it was a lot better when she finally immerged from the bathroom. James was sitting on the couch in nothing but a pair of boxers, she could feel his eyes run down her thighs, even if he claimed he wasn’t that type of guy, she had a feeling that would change very soon. “Nice hair” he said as she walked over to him she smiled showing him that she was completely comfortable around him. She sat down next to him, and almost immediately he put his arm around her shoulders, “so are we together” He asked suddenly looking at her, “What” she asked, “I don’t know, I mean last night you asked if my other girlfriends were so much trouble”, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to” he added quickly. “No, I mean of course I would love to be your girlfriend” she replied with a smile, on her face, and then at that moment his eyes met hers. “You’re eyes they sparkle, their beautiful” he said and then he kissed her before she could reply.


Chapter 3

June 14th, 2004,
Today James and I are nearing our 6-month anniversary and our wedding date. We are currently staying at his mom’s house; we are finally living the dream life in LA. We have been here a month so far and I am personally loving it, we’re looking for a new apartment in this area so we can stay close to his mom and his family.

After finishing the entry she snapped the book shut and crossed the room to put it in her underwear drawer, just as James walked in. “Aren’t you to old to be keeping a diary” he teased, laughing. She shoved him playfully, “It’s not a diary, it’s a journal,” she said. “Are you going to let me read it?” He asked, reaching his hand out. She tensed up, there was some stuff in that book that she defiantly did not want him seeing, “I am not comfortable letting you read the whole thing” she said hoping to end the conversation, but it didn’t. “Why are you hiding stuff from me?” He asked sharply. She shook her head “You have no clue who I really am or what I went through”. “Then why don’t you explain it to me, you think you live in this would where you can’t afford to let anyone” he said, “But it doesn’t have to be that way”. “Yes it does” she replied and walked out of the room, she knew that he was following her but she grabbed his pack of Newport’s from his coat pocked and went outside to sit on the steps. As she took a few hits, she tried to stop the tears that sat inside her eyelids wanting to be set free. “Kinsey I love you, I just wish you would let me in,” he said, sitting besides her on the stairs. “I wish you could understand how painful it is” she replied, silently wishing he would go away but not wanting to say the words. “You know what you’re right, there isn’t anyway I could possibly understand,” He said as he got up and went back into the house letting the door slam behind him. She couldn’t help it, she let the tears flow.

She didn’t move from the spot on the stairs until she was sure that no one would see her, when the coast was clear, she crept into the house. She ran up the stairs to the room that James and she shared and grabbed her book bag from the closet, she began packing. Tears ran down her face as she ripped a blank page from her journal and wrote James a goodbye note.

James,
I wish I could stay and explain my whole life piece by piece, But I can’t. Maybe one day I will have the courage to do that, I’m not leaving because I don’t love you. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. You will always be my baby
She signed the letter, taking one last look at the one thing that meant so much but that She knew that She couldn’t have, She walked away.


Chapter 4

June 14th, 2004 why do I always run away from things that I want so badly? James and I were perfect for each other, but to open my heart to him and then to get hurt again. I can’t handle it. How would I ever be able to look at him if he knew about my mom, about my crazy father who did so much to me, the truth about how my father died, about angel, about everything? We wouldn’t be getting married if he knew everything, I just know it. He would hurt me just as Mike did, the pain cut me so deep and I can’t put myself in that position again, I just can’t.

She had only been sitting at the greyhound station for 20 minutes when she heard a deep voice behind her, “Kinsey, why are you running from our love, why are you running from me” It said. She turned around to face him, tears streaked her face and her eyes were red rimmed. She let her open journal slide from her lap and hit the ground on the page that she never wanted him to see.

June 18th, 1997
my hands have blood on them, I did it, I finally found the courage to do it, he’s finally dead and I did it. I can’t believe that I killed him, I didn’t mean it, but he wouldn’t let me leave. He would have killed me, I had to do something. After the last 5 years of nothing but hell, He killed my mom, He killed my younger sister angel, he made Jarred leave, he left me with scars that can’t be healed. I didn’t know what else to do. Daddy died a long time ago, I didn’t kill daddy.

He bent down to pick up her journal for her and He started to hand it to her, then his eyes fell on the entry, in question. His face changed into an unreadable expression, she braced herself for the explosion that she was sure would come, and she waited for what seemed like forever. It never came, He placed her book in her backpack and reached for her hands to pull her up to his level, He wrapped his arms around her so tight she could barely breath. She was confused; she was expecting the same reaction that she got from her ex boyfriend, Mike, when he found out her secrets. They were married at that point and he had her put away.

“Please, no more secrets, just tell me everything,” He whispered in her ear, “Are you sure,” She asked him; He nodded and led her to her car, which she left for him. He started to drive the opposite way from his mom’s house, “Where are we going” she asked him, “somewhere we can talk” He replied. He pulled off of the interstate and they wound up at a beach, which was completely deserted. As he parked the car in the empty parking lot, she began to tense up again. He wanted to know everything, she just hoped that he would find it in his heart to understand, if he didn’t, she wouldn’t just be losing him; she would be losing a part of herself as well. Needless to say she was so scared that she was shaking.

“Did I read that entry right” He asked turning to her, She nodded unable to speak. “But, why would you feel you needed to do something like that”, “Well” she began, then she told him everything about how her dad beat her from as far back as she could remember up until the day that he died. How after her mom passed away when she was sixteen, the beatings only got worse and he even took it a step further. With each detail she realized that his arms only got tighter around her body as he pulled her closer to him. “We’re you charged,” He asked, “Not at first” she explained to him, and then she told him about Mike, How after we were married he put me in a mental hospital. “I later found out, he only put me away, so I couldn’t press charges when he started beating me, I guess he figured that the courts would just think that I was a crazy bitch”. “Are you still married to him”, He asked looking in my eyes. She looked away, “I am widowed to him under that name Carissa Carlson, I changed my name right before I left my hometown” He stopped asking her questions when he saw all the tears fall from her eyes. “I want you,” she said silently, so quiet that she knew he had to strain to hear. “Are you sure” He asked, she simply nodded.

He pulled into a motel parking lot about a block away from the beach, “My mom doesn’t want us to do anything in house until we are married” He explained, They got a room and went inside. She sat on the bed as he closed the door; she was still shaking from their talk in the car. “Are you scared?” he asked and she nodded in answer. He sat down beside her on the bed and took her hands in his, “We don’t have to, we can just spend the night here” He said, giving her a hug. She returned his words with a kiss as She pulled herself on his lap and pulled his shirt over his head.

Afterward they just lay together on the bed, his arms around her and her head on his bare chest. She looked up into his eyes and said, “I’m ready to tell you more”. He nodded and waited for her to continue. So she told him the rest of her painful past, about how She heard about Mike’s death in the hospital and afterward how she started to recover mentally because she no longer had the fear. How when she returned to the place where she grew up, stood in the place where she not only killed but also watched her father die. She almost had another nervous breakdown; the memories hit her again with the same pain.

Suddenly it hadn’t happened Five years ago but yesterday, she saw everything all over again. The blood on her hands, his body, and a single gunshot wound to the head, blood dripping from his mouth. Police sirens in the distance, and their annoying questions. “They assumed suicide right off the bat, and I couldn’t correct them” she finally managed to Sutter out. “I understand” was all he could manage to say, without another word he took his stuff and walked out of the door.

She just stood there like an idiot, part of her was stunned that he left and the other part of her cursing herself for letting him in to begin with. When she finally walked outside, she saw that her car was gone and it was only then that she realized it was over. She sat on the curb as a million tears began to flow.


Chapter 5

James walked in the house and sat down at the table, watching his mom cook dinner. “Honey, I haven’t seen Kinsey all day, where is she”. He didn’t answer, “James, did you heart me? Where is she”? “I left her at the motel” he said silently. “So is she sleeping, which motel” she asked while drying her hands, “I will go and pick her up, where are my car keys” she muttered to herself walking out of the room. “Mom” He said, following her, she walked back into the kitchen “James give me your car keys” she said. “Mom, No I left her there on purpose” he said. “What, why in the hell would you do something like that for” she asked while lowering herself into the chair, “Because mom, she’s a crazy bitch, that’s why. She killed her own father,” he said, half yelling, and nodded to the shocked expression on his moms face. “What” his mom asked, but all James could do was nod again. He got up from the table, snatched the car keys and headed for the door. “James if you go out that door with the intent to have a booty call tonight, you’re the one who is crazy, Kinsey is the best thing to have happened to you” she called sharply after him.

He sat outside his on again, off again friend with benefits house, his mom’s words echoing in his head. He took one more longing look at Carrie’s house and made a U turn heading in the direction of the hotel he left her at. He prayed that she was still there, as he pulled his car into the parking lot, he searched for her, only she was no where to be found. “Idiot” He muttered to himself, cursing himself for walking out when she needed him the most, with tears streaming down his face he finally glanced up and saw her walking in the opposite direction, It had started to rain so her clothes clung to her snug body as if they were painted on. He opened the door to his car while screaming her name, “Kinsey, wait”, she stopped for a moment, Listening it seemed like she was listening to the wind. After that moment was up, she returned to her steps to her destiatation. By this time he was out of the car, He hadn’t even bothered to close the door. He took a deep breath and ran after her calling her name, screaming her name.

Once he was right behind her, she had stopped for a green light to cross a busy street, “Kinsey” He said again placing his hand on her shoulder. She stiffened at his touch, unable to turn around and face him. When the light turned red, she shrugged his hand off of her shoulder and stepped off the curb just as a car came zooming around the corner, it struck her and then came to a screeching halt. For a moment it seemed as if the whole world stopped, sirens could be heard in the distance and the sound of James’ voice screaming her name.

A police officer leaned over her motionless body; finally he turned to James’. “Do you know the victim?” He asked while taking a pad of paper from his coat pocket. “She’s, Kinsey Kelly” James replied, “Are you related” he asked, without a second thought James said “Yes”. The police officer turned as the ambulance pulled up, the crew hurried over to them, “She’s breathing” one of them yelled” “We have to move quickly” another muttered. James stood silently watching the chaos surrounding him, until he felt a light touch on his arm. “Are you coming with your wife?” asked the police officer, He nodded and quickly followed the officer to the ambulance.

“Mom, Mom, Over here” James yelled, his mom was in the hospital waiting room in a matter of minutes, She rushed over to him, “what happened?” she asked. “I went back to the motel, I caught her crossing a busy street when some idiot came out of no where” He said, “OMG” his mom cried out and her hands went up to her mouth. “Have you seen her yet?” his mom asked, He shook his head, “Not since we got here, they rushed her into surgery, she had some internal bleeding”. His mom sat on a couch close to the door; she patted the seat next to her asking him to sit down. A few minutes later a doctor came into the room, “James, Ms Kelly as been asking for you” His mom patted his hand, “You go on in and see her” she said. James got up and walked up the hallway following the doctor to Kinsey’s room. “How is she” he asked the doctor when reaching her room, the doctor just shook his head and motioned for him to go in the room.

He sat on a chair besides the hospital bed and took her motionless hand. I don’t think that she even knows that I am here, he realized. She was in a dark place, pitch black; she couldn’t make out anything or anyone. She kept on calling his name, but he didn’t answer. Then she came out and opened her eyes, and there he was. “James” she said while reaching for his hand, He finally smiled at her, “I thought you were gone” he stuttered. “I could never leave you, even if you hurt me,” she said returning his smile.


Chapter 6

         She got out of the hospital two weeks later; the doctors said she was lucky to be alive. She wished she were dead, although she didn’t dare tell James that, His words to her still echoed in her head, not that she could really blame him. When they returned to his mom’s house, she only spoke to James when it was absolutely necessary. She knew his mom knew something was wrong; she kept looking from her to James, letting the look stay on her face until they both saw it. Even all the time that she sat there, she couldn’t help feeling unwanted, not by his mom, but by James. He could say that he loved her and always would, He could say that he understood but how could he when he never had been in that situation. She wanted to make him understand, but she couldn’t force someone to listen when they didn’t want to. All she could do was sit back and take life as it came to her, she didn’t want to feel as though she had to change her life for anyone but herself. “Kinsey, do you want some coffee?” his mom asked, forcing her from her thoughts. “Yes please, Mrs. Marcel” she replied, looking toward James who held a cup of steaming hot coffee in his hands, he took a sip and replaced it back on the table. His mom placed Kinsey’s cup in front her on the table and then sat down across the table with her own cup in her hands. “Now what is wrong with the two of you?” she asked the question, it was directed towards Kinsey. She started to tense up for a moment, then took a deep breath. She figured if they truly couldn’t or wouldn’t accept her for who she was, then she didn’t need them in her life.

So she repeated what she had told James, to his mom. Instead of getting the horrible reaction she was expecting, his mom rose up from her seat and gave her a huge hug. James got up and took her hands in his, “Baby, I am so sorry, it just shocked me, but I was wrong to treat you like that,” He said to her, tears in his eyes, as he pulled her up into his arms. There’s more, Kinsey sat back down on the chair and breathed in deeply, “Do you want me to leave the room” Mrs. Marcel asked, Kinsey shook her head, “I’d rather everyone knew at the same time” she said with a sad smile. “What’s the other part?” James asked, “Angel” she replied sobbing, not able to hold the tears in anymore. They both waited for her to continue, “Angel was my two year old sister, she was beautiful”. The look of sadness that crossed both of their faces at that point was unbearable. “What happened to her?” James asked, “It was murder” she replied sharply. “My father told us that she drowned in a neighborhood pool, but I know the real story” she said, “He did it”. “How did you find that out” His mom asked, her. “I saw him, the night that it happened, I was sick and I got up out of bed to use the bathroom and I saw her” she sobbed out, “She was face down in the bathtub, in about an inch of water & she wasn’t moving” tears streamed down her face, as she was telling the story of her sisters death. “Now do you see why I had to do it, He stole my mom, He stole my sister, If I didn’t do anything then I would have been next.” she screamed at James. “Jarred knew that night, we left together, but we were found out and I was forced to go back. I was only 16 at the time”. “Jarred is my older brother,” she said nodding. James got up from his seat, “I am so sorry” He said puling her up from her seat and into his arms, she fell into them and prayed that he would never stop holding her.


Chapter 7

         “Are you sure you want to do this” James asked her while leaning down over the computer screen, “Yes” she said while nodding, “I am positive, that I want to find my brother, Besides what’s the worst thing that would happen”, she asked shrugging, outside she was cool as a cucumber but on the inside she was scared to death, that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her. She stared at the screen while she typed in her real information, when she got to his part of the form. “I heard from a family friend, that he changed his name to Davidson last year” she explained, James nodded. “How long does it take to get the results” He asked her, “well” she started, “If he is in the database the results should pop up in a few minutes”. She scrolled down the screen as the results popped up and searched through the names, finally in front of her it said Davidson r, Jarred, Her face lit up when she saw his place of residence. “He’s here, He’s in LA” she yelled out excitedly, she grabbed a pen and a pad of paper out of her purse, she scribbled the address and phone number down and then signed off of the computer. “So what are you waiting for?” James asked after a few minutes, “I just can’t call” she replied after dropping the pen & pad down on the table and walking away. James found her sitting outside on the porch with her head buried in her hands, “Do you want me to call” he asked, she shook her head only to find out later that it was a statement not a question.

July 1st, 2004 this is the first time the house has been completely empty in the months since we first arrived here. If it isn’t James and his parents, it’s his 16-year-old niece and her friends; I found out only recently that her parents were killed in a fire, 2 years ago. I finally found my brother and if only I can get up the nerve to call him.

The phone ringing broke into her thoughts; she hesitated for a moment before answering.

“Hello”
“Carissa” A deep voice on the other end asked, she almost dropped the phone instead she took a deep breath and put the phone back up to her ear.
“Jarred” she managed to stutter out, “How did you find me?” she asked.
“James called me” he replied, before she could answer, he spoke again ”don’t be mad at him, he was only trying to help”
She didn’t say anything
“Hello” “Hello”

Without another word Kinsey placed the phone on the hook. She pulled out her journal and muttered now where did I leave off, to herself.

He just called me, I wanted to talk to him, I really did. But when he called me Carissa, I just froze up and I couldn’t. Everything just came back to me, I felt like I was 16 again and I just couldn’t talk to him. I hate to say but I’m kind of pissed at him still for not coming back for me when I turned 18 like he promised. I shouldn’t have been so surprised, broken promises rule my existence.

“On another note, James needs to mind his own damn business” she muttered under her breath as she tucked her most prized-possession in her book bag and threw it under the bed that she and James shared, although tonight she wasn’t sure if she should allow him to sleep by her side.

Kinsey jerked upright when she heard James calling her name; she rushed out of their room and down the stairs, toward his voice. She found him in the kitchen talking to his mom, her hands shook as she walked into the room, and his mom saw her face first and walked out of the room, muttering that she needed to get something upstairs. She approached James and pushed him while yelling, “How could you” and “You had no right”. “I’m sorry” he finally stuttered out, she just glared at him before walking out of the room. She ran up the stairs grabbed her book bag, snatched her car keys from the dresser and left the house with the front door slamming behind her.

James just sat at the kitchen table, his head buried in his arms. “Where’s Kinsey?” His mom asked walking into the room. “I don’t know,” He answered shaking his head, “she left”.

Music pounded out of her cars cd player, Kinsey brought her voice up as she sang. She drummed her hands on the steering wheel and accidentally hit the horn, “sorry” she yelled from the window. She pulled her car into the record store parking lot. She slammed her car door shut as she jumped out and rushed inside he store, 20 minutes later she emerged carrying 4 cds. “Perfect for the long drive home” she muttered to herself, as she was getting into her car, she felt a hand on her arm. She paused for a moment before whipping around, where she came face to face with James. They stared at each other, “what do you want” she asked him in a demanding voice. “Where are you going?” He asked her, “Home” she replied before getting into her care and driving off, leaving James standing there.

“Mom, Mom” James cried as he ran into the house, “she’s gone,” He said while falling into her arms. “What do you mean she’s gone, where did she go?” His dad asked walking into the room, ”All she said was home” he replied while wiping a few years from his eyes away. “What does that me, NC” his mom asked, “No mom, I don’t think so, I think it means NY” he said shaking his head, “You know to the house where…” he said trailing off. His mom reached in her pocket and handed him, 200 dollars and the car keys, “Go” was all she said. “Thanks mom” he said, grabbing the money and the keys from her hand, He jumped in the car and then without looking back he turned out of the driveway.


Chapter 8

         “This must be where the house is,” James muttered to himself, looking down at the piece of paper in his hands, before he left he trashed their room for a clue to tell him where she was. He found her diary lying on the bed; He didn’t know if she left it behind on purpose or not. He took his Newport’s out of his coat pocket and lit one, laying back in his seat, he inhaled, a few minutes later he exhaled slowly.

He started to knock on the door but saw that it was open; He took a deep breath before pushing the door open and stepping into the house. He didn’t want to take another step, He just felt as if he was disturbing someone’s final resting place. “Kinsey, Kinsey, where are you?” He called out into the darkness, “come on Kenz, I love you, I want you to be my wife”.

Kinsey stood in the door opening staring at her old room, she heard James calling for her downstairs but she was unable to move. She walked over to her old bed and sat down for a moment, she knew that the house had been empty for years; no one seemed to want to buy houses that people were murdered in. The town in upstate NY, in which she had grown up in, was small, everyone knew everyone else, and therefore everyone had heard the stories. She closed her eyes and leaned back and suddenly she was 18 again, that was the night she had left home, the night she killed Him.

She saw herself sitting on her bed, writing in her journal, she heard the footsteps in the hallway and his door slam shut. Slowly she rose from the bed and collected her things; she started walking down the hallway toward the stairs. Only a few more steps, she thought to herself and then the floor creaked. She paused for a moment and waited, she knew she should just run but it was as if her feet were glued to the ground. She heard his door open, the sound of the door hitting the wall made her jump. Her back was toward him but she stiffened her shoulders, she prepared herself for the beating, she had been through it before and this would be the last one, she was sure of it. He walked up on her; she could smell the beer on his breath. He grabbed her arm and spun her around. “Where do you think you are going?” He asked roughly, “I’m leaving, I can’t take this anymore” she had said. He threw her against the wall, “Do you really think I’m going to let you leave, so you can run and tell everyone my secrets” he screamed at her, it was at that moment that she looked down and saw what he had in his hands. Now she was terrified, her legs had weakened and she slowly slid to the ground, her head buried in her hands she began to pray. “Get up” he screamed, “No please, Daddy don’t,” she cried out. “Shut up” he said as he snatched her up and pressed her small frame up against the wall, she felt the gun pressed up against her temple and she knew that she had to do something before her life ended there, she knew that he would kill her if she didn’t do something, just as he had done to her mom & younger sister just years earlier. She had to make herself move now if she wanted to live, so she kneed him, he cried out in pain as the gun fell to the ground at her feet, she reached down and grabbed it. “You won’t get far, I will find you and when I do I will kill you”, her father’s words echoed in her head, before she knew what was happening she had the gun pointed at him, she was shaking with fear. He laughed, “You won’t do it, you don’t have the balls to do it” he stated bluntly, she fired and dropped the gun. “I have more balls then you” she quietly said and then she ran.

James heard something whimper, “Kenz, is that you?” suddenly she appeared at the top of the stairs. “Come here kenz,” He said while taking a few steps toward her, He held out his arms in front of him. She ran down the stairs and into his open arms, nearly knocking both of them over, she buried her head in his hallow neck and sobbed uncontrollably. “How did you find me?” She asked looking up into his beautiful hazel eyes, “Well” he replied, taking her diary out of his pocket and holding it up. He prepared himself for the screaming that he was sure would follow, Instead she smiled and completely surprised him. “I love you,” she said, planting a kiss on his full lips, She took his hand. “Lets get out of here,” she said while walking out the door.

She slid in to the passenger seat and turned on the radio; “Kenz”, “We need to talk” He turned off the radio and turned to face her. “We do” she replied, nodding, “But can we go somewhere else” she asked while looking up at her childhood home and closing her eyes. He leaned over and kiss her head, “Of course we can” He said while starting the car. They drove to a nearby park, snow lightly dusted the ground, He parked the car on the side of the street and got out, Kinsey did the same. He walked over to her and took her hand; they walked in silence for a few minutes. “It’s so beautiful out here” He said, She just nodded. “You know, Kenz” He started to say, and then he paused. She turned to him and put her arms around him, “Just talk to me” She said her face inches from us, He leaned down and kissed her lips, and then he pulled away. “You’re not the only one who has been through some shit, you’re not the only one who has killed someone, which is why I don’t know why I was being such an asshole to you”. She just stood there, she heard his statement, repeating in her head, Kept on seeing how serious his eyes were, knowing it was true. She didn’t speak for a good 15 minutes; even then she didn’t know what to say.

Finally she got the strength to speak, “What do you mean” She asked, as if she didn’t know what he was talking about, As if she hadn’t already heard the stories. Everyone at the club knew the story, It had happened a few months after she started working there. There had been a fight between Michel, who was James brother and another guy, she was heading to her car when she heard the single fatal shot and saw the gunman’s car speeding away. That was the day her and James had become friends.

She was shocked when the realization came over her that she saw James that night, She came to realize that James was the one, the shooter. She breathed in deeply and looked into the sky, which was blue except for a few dark clouds that speckled around like dollops of dark frosting on a cake. The trees were mostly bare but some were spotted with leaves. The air was cool, not cold; she could feel that spring was near. She focused her attention on the few snowflakes that were lightly falling from the sky above. She closed her eyes and titled her head so her face was toward the sky, she felt the light flakes fall gently on her face and she imagined what her life would have been like if she had not gone through everything that she had.