Please Don't Cry

         Please Don’t Cry
                                                                     By AJ Peaslee

I always stare at her. I can’t help it; I have loved her since the day we met. I’am so afraid to tell her how much I care about her. We have been good friends since grade school, and even then, I had feelings for her. I want to be that someone that she is dating. Unfortunately I’m not that lucky. She is dating another guy, which is good for her. But it tares me up, and slams my heart into the gutter. To make matters worse, this fellow that she is seeing is a complete jerk, asshole, or whatever have you. He has her on a leash, he won’t let her go anywhere without his notice. He has a horrible past, from what I hear, he can’t stay committed to one lady. Some days I see her with black eyes and bruises on her cheeks. They are not from falling down or “being stupid” either. I hate him, I want to tell him off and take her home with me. Why can’t I just tell her?

The next day after school, I saw them arguing outside by the main steps. He looked like he wanted to hit her, but knew it wouldn’t be wise in this place, and especially if I’am around. I walked up to her to start a conversation. They quickly stopped once I approached.

“Hey, what’s up Kurt? You heading home?” Vanessa asked me as she put a smile on.

“Yeah, I got a lot of homework to do. Hey, would you like to…..” I was suddenly cut off by Troy.

“Nope. I’am taking her to the club tonight. Sorry, guess you are gonna have to do your work alone bucko.” Troy arrogantly grunted out.

Oh, how I pictured wrapping my hands around his throat and squeezing so hard that his eyes popped out of their sockets and blood poured from his ears. I popped that bubble when I saw them walk off. I clenched my fist in anger toward myself for not asking again. I slowly walked on home, pouting the whole way there. I saw a crumpled ad blowing around on the curb. I picked it up and opened it.
“Come to the Senior Prom! Bring your date and have a good time! You could be the king and queen of the night!”

I tore that damn piece of paper up so fast it would have made a paper shredder jealous. I stomped all the way back to my useless existence.

I awoke the next day to see Vanessa sitting in my room. I was embarrassed to get out of bed because I was only in my boxers; she could tell and poked fun at me. Great start to a morning.

“So, I’am sorry we haven’t had much time to talk lately. You know how Troy can be. Do you want to go with us to the Prom?” Vanessa pleasantly asked, waiting for my answer.

I basically stared at her for a moment. I loved her hair, because it seemed to absorb all the light in the room. Her eyes were like blue gemstones placed on a white cloth, and her face was incredible, her smooth lips and her slope nose.

“Yes! I’ll go! But you want to know something? I love you!” I shouted in excitement.

Too bad that was only heard by my conscience. I basically said no and she left. Dammit, how much longer am I going to play this game? Just say it Kurt! For Christ Sakes!

I stared at the ever so glum face in the bathroom mirror. My red hair was messy from the bed, and my eyes looked like sad, gray, puppy dog eyes. Not telling her was eating me up inside. I need to say something soon; my heart can’t take this constant pain. Love bites.

I began to picture Troy in his football jersey, smiling and being cocky. His black pompadour and goatee pissed me off, his baby blue eyes pissed me off, his grunt, and deep voice pissed me off. I smashed my fist into the mirror with incredible force. My hand stayed there for a minute, my hand was glued there by the shards of glass now under my knuckles. I fell to floor in fury and sadness. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette. I lit it and inhaled the smoke. I felt an instant rush from the nicotine. I should have quit those long ago. Vanessa always hounds me about them, but she is cute about it. God, everything she does is amazing. Why is an angel with a devil? My heart felt like it was going to explode; it was throbbing very deeply and slowly. I had never felt this way before. A tear began to run down my cheek, and I dropped my head between my knees. All I could hear over and over in my head was a Def Leppard song. Love Bites, how convenient. I hated myself for not saying anything back when, and not saying anything today, or ever. I thrust the tip of the smoke into my forearm and groaned in pain. The smell of burning hair and flesh filled the air around me, and I could see my skin bubbling in strange ways. I let go and clenched my arm. I think I was going to stay home today, and not go to prom tonight.

I sat in my room all day. I stared blankly at the ceiling all day, and most of the evening. I glanced at the clock at about eight o’ clock. The prom started about an hour ago. All I could think about was telling Vanessa how I felt.

I dashed out the door and didn’t look back. I was going to tell her tonight, or never. I ran as fast as my legs would take me to the school, I saw balloons and confetti all over the place in front of the door. As I walked in, I heard loud music coming from the gym, and the shouts and yells of many people. It sounded like it was a mega party in there. But, among all these sounds, I could hear the sound of someone crying. I wasn’t sure where it was coming from, but I knew I heard it. I paced around, trying to locate the sound again. I heard a loud smack, like a thunderous backhand to human flesh. It came from the Boy’s bathroom. I stormed in and saw something that I didn’t want to see.

Troy was standing over a girl in a pearl colored dress that was freshly coated in red liquid, she had a tiara and beautiful blonde hair. She had blue eyes that looked like blue gems on white cloth. Her name was Vanessa.

Troy turned toward me with an aggressive stare and marched over to me. Our faces were inches apart from each other.

“What do you want lover boy? Get out of here before I kick your ass you little faggot.” Troy sternly stated.

I didn’t say anything, I just stood there looking at him. He stared back, and opened his cocky mouth.

“Are you a retard? I just told you to…”

He didn’t get the last part out. My grip around his neck was too tight for any vocal sounds. He stared up at me in complete fear. I grinned as I squeezed even tighter. His eyes began to go pink, and his veins poked out to the point where several popped. He began to weep in bloody tears. I flicked my wrists and I heard a loud crunching noise, it sounded like someone snapping a thick stick. He flopped to his side, his head facing the right, and his body facing the other. A fitting end.

I looked over at Vanessa. She stared at me with a terrified look. I walked over to help her up, but she slapped my hand away and screamed as she ran out of the room. I stood there, wondering about what I did. Did I go to far? Did I go to far serving justice?  I saw a man in blue with a badge walk in, I could see, but I blanked out. I didn’t hear any sounds, and didn’t care; I was off in my own world. They dragged me out and into a cruiser. Everyone was staring at me, I’am sure they were all hearing different scenarios about what happened.

I was in a cell; I spent the night in here. One of the officers, I think his name was Murphy, was talking to me on the other side of the bars. He was trying to make sense of what happened. I told him everything, and he understood me. He said what I did was wrong; I shouldn’t have gone so far as to have killed him. I probably shouldn’t have, but it’s too late now. When I did that dirty deed, I was in another world. My rage took over my body. He said that a young girl came in looking for me; she said her name was Vanessa. I wasn’t allowed to see anybody, so they told her off. Murphy said that she would come back tomorrow, and I told him to tell her everything, and that, I have always loved her.

I sat up all night on the bunk, thinking about what I did. I know I was wrong, but, I just couldn’t stand to see my angel covered in blood and tears. I was sorry, but I knew that know one would care. Everyone believes in one thing, they won’t forgive me for killing their star athlete. Vanessa wouldn’t care either, I killed him. She has no idea I love her, and now she will hate me until I rot away in this cell of lost causes. I gave up thinking, I gave up period. At the age of nineteen, I was screwed forever.

The next day I was served a decent breakfast, eggs and toast. I didn’t care about that, everything sucked in my eyes, everything was useless without her. Murphy came a few hours later; I was sulking on the bunk. He handed me a package, and told me that I wasn’t suppose to have it.

I opened it and inside was a rose, and a letter. At the bottom….it said something that made the light in my heart burst through the endless darkness……”I love you too Kurt.”

                                                                                         The End.