Flawless Victories

I sit here lost and confused not really knowing why?
All I can feel is guilt and hurt just at the thought of making you sad.
I promise I'm not really that bad.
Stupid fears and insecurities force me into wrong decisions.I know that I don't deserve to be forgiven.
Please just know all the love I have for you in my heart and how afraid I'am that all this I've done will eventually tear us apart.
The thought of life and you not in it is almost terrifying.I've come to need you in ways I've never wanted to need anyone.
Now that I do I'm haunted by thoughts that my own stupidity will destroy something so good.
I wish you knew how I want to take it back.
I wish I could make all the doubt in your mind disappear.
Because the doubt in itself I know could make us worlds apart.
I want you to know all the hurt feelings aside..... that when I'm quiet it's only because I don't know what to say. All this love I have for you will never go astray.
I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. I know that if we really try we can make this work. Just please take all this into consideration.