Mind Poison

What has the world come to
my friends?
That we bicker and fight this way.
The rage never subsiding
words to assuage it
not succeeding at all
I've heard it called
a simmering pot
just below the skin
But that's not how I am
It's mare like a cold sheet,
all transparent and leaden
that goes down over my ever restless heart
My mind screming out
LET ME GO
I want to engulf myself in that
cold
disperse the warmth
that threatens to turn my thought
irrationally
My heart feeling that this shield
this long worn, much used shield
will give me the calm
I have been searching for

I will play the long version
the counselor who got hooked
cause no one counseled her
I'll draw the poison from your wound
and put it into mine
just to see what it feels like
to be you
only to be brought to my knees
laughing hysterically
while sobbing in pain
at this mockery of sorrow
For if my shadows are a meager imitation
yours are so much less
than that

And the anger comes again
with that dear, dear hot-headedness
that grows with my attempts to hold it back
then the next step in this vicious circle
coldness, harsh coldness
that stops my emotions
dead

And if you would cease your rambling
give me peace for a moment
perhaps I could release myself
from this Purgatory
where I let myself be consumed
by this anger
that is made in part
by grief