One Mother's Pain by Theresa Kiefer

This isn't how it was supposed to be
My children's  faces just a memory
Empty days  stretching ahead of me
No, this isn't what I saw at forty

Not once, when I dreamed as a teen-aged girl,
did I picture my life the way it unfurled.
And there's nothing left without you in my world.
No, it's not what I dreamed as a girl.

Never a chance, now, to tuck you in,
or to revel in the magic of a childish grin.
And I am as lonely as I've ever been.
How I wish I could tuck you in!

All your milestones escape me.
Am I never to know,
the way your eyes dance from your first love's glow?
And how late you come home after seeing the show?
..little things every parent should know.

No, this isn't how it was supposed to be;
never sleeping cause your hand's reaching out to me
and so filled with the guilt that I've failed miserably!
I'm so hurt that you're not with me!