Bullet Lies Chapter I

“Though the persistence of modern day mediocre sentiments may dilute my statements, words will always retain their power. They offer the means to meaning, and for those willing to listen they hold the pronunciations of truth.”

He stopped momentarily, placing the eraser end of his pencil between his teeth, chewing thoughtfully, before setting it to work on the paper again.

“The seemingly simple words ‘I love you’ are hollow without meaning, words have no power without meaning, and without truth they have no depth. But when these words are given meaning, when they are true they can become the most complex and powerful statement an individual can make. They can make sorrow and anger dissipate, they can brighten a persons day, and they can make you remember why you treasure life.”

The man named Jacob set his pencil down, granting his cramped fingers a brief reprieve from the labor of letters. Sitting up from his crouched position he examined his surroundings, a dark and shadow filled room, with a soft neon glow of advertisement illuminating free floating dust that seemed to cover everything in the room. He stood from his creaky wooden chair and walked to the small door that opened out to the balcony two stories above the street. He placed both hands on either side of the door jam and leaned out looking upwards hoping to see stars; he hoped to smile, to feel his heart lift with the thought that maybe she was looking at the same stars. But neither God nor the fates smiled on him that night, the stars were drowned out by the bright lights of a city that never sleeps, the noise and smell of humanity and saltwater wafted upwards towards him. He wondered how it had happened, how his life had led to this very moment, what choices, decisions and beliefs had led to him sitting in an abandoned building, writing a letter, and thinking of her.

Jacob turned from the doorway, his long coat gliding across the surface of the dusty wooden floor. He made his way past the chair and small table towards the two large black duffel bags sitting seemingly untouched by the dust near the door to the hallway. He stooped and opened one of the bags, removing the only item he had kept of his old life, a small leather bound book, inside it contained his most precious memories, memories he had tried to let go of, memories that reminded him he was still human.

Returning to his chair he opened the leather book, and like every time before he felt his heart jump as he stared into the eyes of the woman he loved, her beautiful green eyes, eyes that captured you, welcomed you, and without words needing to be spoken told you that you were loved. Jacob sighed as he imagined her, thought of touching her soft skin, remembered the warmth of her body pressed close to his. He quickly turned the page before the memories could twist themselves into the sadness that so often pervaded his thoughts of her. The next page contained a single lock of hair, two colors of hair, one red, and one brown. It was her hair braided with his, their locks intertwined with one another; a tear gently made its way down his cheek and the memory of that moment invaded his mind…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

“This is silly,” she said “are you sure you want to cut that much off?”

“Yes” he responded “and I don’t think it’s silly, I like the idea, you and me intertwined together, connected”.

Their heads were close together sitting in the front seat of his car; she had braided one lock of hair from each of their respective heads together, and with a pair of scissors was prepared to cut it.

“Ok here we go” she whispered and brought the jaws of the scissors together, slicing through the hair with two good cuts. She handed it to him to examine, he looked at their creation in his hand, and then handed it to her.

“That’s awesome, I don’t think to many people do that,” he said grinning

“Well that just shows you how much I love you” she said smiling back

He leaned towards her and placed his hand on the side of her cheek bringing her lips to his, he kissed her firmly, his heart raced as she kissed him back, she felt like Christmas ought to feel, that rush of elation, excitement and joy all combined. He released his kiss and whispered, “I love you” as he leaned his forehead against hers.

“I love you to” she whispered back “I love you to….”
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Jacob wiped the tears from his face as a wordless cry of pain escaped his lips he violently threw the book across the room into a dusty wall not watching or caring where it landed. His hands where shaking as he tried desperately to stem the flow of tears, his right hand found its way the his hip and shakily un-holstered his Remington .40 caliber semi-automatic that he kept with him at all times. His thumb found the safety as it had many times before, sliding it off with a cold mechanical click. His heart screamed at him to make the hurting stop, his body resisted, and survival instincts kept him from raising the handgun any higher than the table in front of him.

He stopped, calming himself; mentally he grappled with his anguish, and imagined his heart shutting its doors again. Like an ancient fortress under siege his gates were locked, the parapets were defended and the drawbridges retracted. He released his death grip on the handgun, allowing it to clatter to the table’s surface. He controlled his breathing and remembered his last brush with suicide…

“A bullet will not lie, it has no capacity to do so,” he whispered to himself.

From one of his pockets he retrieved a small sliding tray ‘strike on box’ matchbox. From inside he removed the .45 caliber bullet, the one that had failed to discharge years before, when the handgun was pressed into his temple. It had failed to fire… it had told its truth; it had failed to remove him from this world and send him to the next. The bullet did not lie.

He sighed again, his breathing now controlled, his anguish safely contained inside his heart, his heart armored against attacks from outside and in. He took up his pencil and returned to the task at hand, it was almost 3:00am…. he had little time to finish his letter, after all appointments had to be kept.

“Love is the definition of life, whether that love is provided by family, whether it is provided by friends, or whether that love is the deep and powerful love you feel towards someone you wish to spend the rest of you life with, love defines. Without love we forget who we are, without love we can be lost in shadows. Darkness and cold calculation welcome us to these shadows, it darkens our thoughts and perspectives. If love is light, then I have lived in shadows for far to long.”

He checked his watch the green glowing numbers informed him that it was 3:07am. He stood folding his letter up and securing it in a pocket. He walked to the far wall and knelt retrieving the book he had cast away moments earlier, careful not to open it he placed it back inside his bag. Taking one final look around the room that had offered him shelter; he picked up each bag, his boots leaving faint imprints on the dusty floor. Jacob opened the creaky door and stepped into the hallway, and headed for the stairs.

On the street the tangy scent of the sea invaded his nostrils, the hustle and bustle of Miami nightlife hurried around him, he felt like a stone standing firm in the middle of a stream while water and life swirled all around him. Jacob headed north up the sidewalk towards an abandoned service station where he had hidden his vehicle earlier that day.

A blonde girl in platform shoes approached him “Hey baby” she said suggestively “what you into tonight?”

Jacob stopped for a second and looked into her eyes, she was strung out bad he thought to himself, her cheeks were sunken slightly, and her makeup attempted to hide the dark circles under her eyes. She was underweight, but she had been very pretty at some point, before she had become addicted to whatever it was that drove her now. His first instinct was to ignore her and continue on his path, but something about her…her eyes, Jacob realized, her eyes were green.

“Here” Jacob said retrieving a small roll of cash from his pocket “take this”

The girl seemed surprised, “you don’t… you don’t want anything for it?”

“Yes I do” said Jacob, “I want to know your name, and I want to tell you that I’m sorry, I am so sorry for whatever has happened, I am so sorry for everything that has gone wrong” he paused “ And I want you to use some of this to get yourself something to eat”.

The girl looked at him cautiously “Are you crazy or one of those Jesus people or something?” a look of defiance brought her eyes to life “Because I don’t need your sympathy, and I don’t need your fucking self righteous bullshit”

Jacob smiled an empty smile, “Nothing like that” he responded “Please take this, and you can put it to better use than I can”

The girl hesitantly took the roll of cash and stepped back quickly looking at Jacob “Umm well thank you I guess”

“Your welcome” he replied and retrieved his right hand duffel bag before continuing on his way.

“Hey Jesus guy!” a shout from behind caused him to halt and turn

“You wanted to know my name?” the girl asked

Jacob nodded silently

“I’m Jesse… what’s your name?” she asked

“Thank you Jesse, My name?” he smiled again “I forgot that a long time ago”

He turned again and hefted his bags a little higher, set his jaw and concentrated on every step he took. The warm salty air caused him to sweat under his long coat, but physical discomforts were no stranger to him, and they were easily ignored or shrugged away. He crossed the street towards an abandoned gas station and waited for a passing SUV to disappear down the street before unlocking the heavy padlock he had placed on the garage door earlier. Jacob unlatched the door and lifted it to reveal an old black van; it was very plain and easily lost amongst traffic. But upon closer inspection the van became a fairly unique vehicle, the radiator grate was a false cover disguising the armored ram behind it. The front windshield had iron grates around the edges, reinforced door panels protected the driver and passenger seats and the run flat tires were brand new with less than a thousand miles on them.

Jacob had traded his previous car years before for something more versatile and practical, the old van had personality and even though it always needed something fixed, he liked the hunk of junk. He often referred to it as his ‘Millennium Falcon’. He opened the driver side sliding door and set his bags inside. Sliding the door closed he stepped up into the driver seat and started the engine. The black van grumbled to life as if it was eager to venture into the early morning night. Jacob checked his watch, 3:16am. His meeting with the hooker had delayed him somewhat, but it had made him feel good about himself, made him feel human for a few minutes. These few precious minutes he had spent in the realm of decency had to be forgotten, the last thing he needed tonight was to hesitate.

He pulled out of the garage and turned his van south, Jacob had spent the evening in the ‘bad’ side of town, and there was little motor traffic at this hour. He pulled up to a stoplight and waited a few moments before the light turned green…green eyes he thought to himself.

“Damnit!” he yelled and slapped his palm into the top ring of the steering wheel. “What the hell is wrong with me tonight?” he asked the emptiness.

He turned the black van lazily to the west and continue through several more intersections, slowly as he progressed westward the buildings became newer, the traffic less sporadic and the lights brighter. Jacob turned the van one last time, onto a busy street heavy with late night pedestrians, leaving bars and clubs, bodies pushing against each other, stumbling towards their homes or after parties some with companions, others alone. But it was only one body that Jacob was interested in this night.

He parked his van in an almost empty parking lot near the end of the stretch, and silenced the engine with the turn of a key. Sliding out of the driver side door his feet hit the pavement and with calculated concentration he opened the sliding door removing one of his big bags. He began walking back towards the clusters of brightly lit structures and inebriated individuals he had passed moments earlier. He was looking for only one building, and inside this lone building he was looking for only one person, and for this one person he was carrying a message, one message.

The ‘Club Stiletto’ sign loomed before him in green neon, a shade of which he found vaguely offensive. There were still people inside, loud music still wafted through the closed doors. Jacob crossed the street to the clubs door and surpassed the velvet ropes meant to coral eager partygoers. His progress was halted by a large man, quite your typical bouncer thought Jacob, shaved head, goatee, muscles used for display not for use, his threat level didn’t even register on Jacobs mental scales.

“You can’t go in” he said gruffly “ and what’s in the bag” it was less of a question and more of a direct statement spoken from a man who was used to getting his way.

Jacobs first thought was of bringing the man to his knees and introducing his nose to Jacobs flattened palm. This thought brought a slight smile to his face, which helped with the charade he needed to play, a dance that required precision.

“Hey back off, I’m here to see Donnie and tell him I got his fucking money” Jacob said sternly as if offended he was being questioned, he motioned towards the duffel bag, hinting at the cash it might contain.

The man looked at him closely as if trying to calculate his response

“Show it to me” he said

“Ha” Jacob laughed sharply “who do you think I am?” Jacob said with a hint of irritation “Donnie sees it no one else, and we go in the back, and you pat me down and take my handgun before we leave the kitchen and go upstairs”.

The bouncer huffed and unclipped a walkie-talkie from his belt and turned away from Jacob speaking a few words into it and then listening to a response. Jacob was pleased that his observations and information had proved accurate. The man turned back and stared at Jacob for a moment before motioning for him to follow. As they walked away from the front doors they opened and a second bouncer stepped out to take his place as door guard, before the doors shut the music blasted through the opening, and was quickly muffled as the door closed. Good, Jacob thought to himself, the music was loud enough to cover most noises, with luck his presence would go unnoticed.

Not a word was exchanged until they made it to the back door; the bouncer turned and motioned for Jacob to raise his hands. Jacob dropped his duffel bag and complied allowing his handgun to be removed from his side, the bouncer also removed the 9mm strapped to the inside of his coat and the dagger in the small of his back. He finished patting him down and opened a seemingly brand new trashcan and set them inside a cardboard box within the can.

“They better still be here when we leave,” remarked Jacob “or you’ll be buying me some new ones”

The bouncer only huffed again and opened the back door allowing Jacob to enter the kitchen, it was modest, and full of stainless steel appliances and a few bored looking cooks sitting playing a card game in the corner. They looked up, and then looked right back down never making eye contact. His ears struggled to adjust to the pound of the music and he wondered how the cooks concentrated on their game with the thrum of whatever dance beat was the rage this week drilling into their heads.

“Straight ahead” the bouncer shouted pointing towards a pair of swinging doors with no windows.

Jacob led the way from the kitchen into a small stage like platform with a handful of tables strategically placed around the large dance floor, very few were occupied, and those that were sat in the darkest corners and their occupants whispered words of lust and seduction. The large crowded ‘U’ shaped bar sat against the wall to his left and the DJ’s booth was on a raised platform straight ahead, to his right were several doors that undoubtedly led to VIP rooms and a set of stairs that was being closely monitored by a slender man in a gray suit. The dance floor was filled, and at least one hundred people danced and jumped in unison while streaks of neon lights swirled in rhythm above their heads.

The bouncer pointed towards the staircase and followed Jacob to the foot of them and then disappeared somewhere in the crowd. The man in the suit motioned at the bag with an upward raised palm, Jacob raised the bag and watched as he scanned the surface with a paddle shaped metal detector. It lit up only once as it passed over the metal buckle securing the straps and the zipper.

He glanced at Jacob then motioned for him to lead the way up the stairs, Jacob did so and mentally he began calming his nerves, controlling his heart rate and steeling his eyes, each step was a calculated move, intended to bring him greater balance and place him in a better position to defend himself if need be. He evaluated every muscle and tendon in his legs as he progressed up the stairway, there would be no mistakes, no miscalculations, no flailing. Once he made it to the second story landing he was presented with a hallway and several doors to each side, the man in the gray suit leaned beside his shoulder and pointed to the door at the end of the hall

“That one down there!” he shouted “at the end of the hall, he’s expecting you!”

Jacob nodded and took his first steps down the hallway he turned to look as the man in the gray suit returned down the stairs. Odd thought Jacob, no guard, this might be easier than he ever would have expected. But as soon as these thoughts had formed the door at the end of the hall opened and a man wearing a casual looking shirt and jacket stepped out, this man did not bear his muscles for show, and the bulge at his waist, ankle and chest bore evidence of weaponry. He met eyes with the bodyguard as they walked towards each other. This man did register on Jacobs threat meter.

Jacob compiled a quick analysis and realized that intimidation would not work, but this man was confident and over confidence was a weakness. Jacob pretended to stumble on his own feet, hoping to appear nervous and non-threatening to the bodyguard, this was a different charade, a different dance, this dance required trickery and more than a little surprise.

His ruse worked the bodyguard smirked at him as he approached and his shoulders visibly relaxed. His hair was worn long and pulled back into a professional looking ponytail; a piercing in his ear and a large ring in his nose accented his rather plain features.

“This way” said the bodyguard

Jacob decided to take his chances even with limited information about the room ahead, he knew his mark employed only one constant bodyguard, and he knew that there was only one door in or out of his office. This was enough.

“Don’t you wanna check the bag?” asked Jacob

“That won’t be necessary” replied the guard

“Oh, I think it will,” said Jacob in a secretive tone

The bodyguards eyes narrowed momentarily and his right hand moved slightly closer to his handgun concealed neatly under his jacket. Jacob held out the duffel bag expectantly. The bodyguard took it in one hand and began to unzip it with his other, his eyes and attention left Jacob and briefly turned to the bag.

Jacobs hands came together with terrifying speed, his slightly cupped palms closed around the mans ears with a dull sounding slap, the guard released the bag and leaned backwards raising his hands to his injured ears. Jacob quickly delivered one, two and three solid strikes into his exposed abdomen forcing him to recoil and wrench his body forward and gasp as he stumbled backwards. They always lean forward thought Jacob darkly, and it’s always a bad idea. He grabbed the back of the mans head and introduced his knee to the bodyguards face. As his knee slammed into the guards skull Jacob let go of him and allowed the crunching impact to send him onto his back. Jacob dropped to one knee beside the groaning man and un-holstered the handgun from his hip. It was a blocky Glock .45, Jacob sighed ‘like firing a brick’ he thought to himself before bringing the butt of the handgun against the bodyguards temple leaving him out cold, but still alive.

Jacob stood quickly and slipped the safety off on the handgun, removing the magazine he checked his ammunition before replacing it and pulling the slide back. With his left hand he retrieved the dropped bag and swiftly made his way down the hallway. The music would have effectively masked the sounds of the one sided struggle that had just occurred. He took a moment to settle himself and then knocked once on the door before opening it and allowing it to swing wide. As it closed behind him it silenced the club music. A sound proofed room so that Donnie could conduct his business without the distraction of the club music. It could not have been more perfect.

Before his first step had fallen his eyes had darted from one object to the other, his mark was sitting behind his desk located to the right with his back to the door studying a computer monitor, there were two sofas, one against a window directly ahead of him and one to his left, two red velvet high backed chairs were positioned facing his desk and were the only real obstacle between himself and his target.

His first step fell. Donnie began to turn towards him with the benefit of a swiveling desk chair. The Glock rose from Jacobs’s side and with cold calculating precision his hand rocked back as the first shot exited the barrel with explosive force. The bullet found its target in the marks left collarbone, it shattered the bone structure and tugged his left shoulder into the chair as it ripped its way out of his body and through the soft backing of the luxurious seat. Jacob moved like water, precise and fluid with no mistakes, no miscalculations, and no flailing, he was up and over the desk in seconds pushing the chair away from the desk and any weapons or alarms that might be hidden within it.

“Arrghh!” his mark groaned and with his right hand clutched over the bullet wound a stream of profanities directed at Jacob and no one in particular began to course from his mouth.

“Silence” Jacob whispered through grinding teeth. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” he growled just inches from Donnie’s face while driving his knuckles into the weeping bullet wound. For a moment a feeling of elation drove him to press harder, he could almost feel the mans pain and it washed over Jacob like an electrical shock.

“Puh- pu- please…” the mark whined as his eyes swam and rolled into the back of his head until Jacob released the pressure. He pushed the bigger man backwards against the far wall rolling him easily on his chair despite the mans above average girth.

Jacob took a step back, this was the first time he’d seen Donnie in person for several years. He had gained at least a hundred pounds, his hair was thinning and he’d lost his beard for a more clean cut shave. But his beady eyes were still the same, they still looked exactly the way they had the last time he had seen them.

“Your demons have finally caught up with you old friend” Jacob spoke calmly, no emotion in his voice whatsoever. “Have you enjoyed your reprieve from morality? Have you indulged in the pleasures of the flesh?” He paused for a second and lowered his voice “Have you remembered who I am yet?”

A look of shock was evident in the Donnie’s eyes “You’re supposed to be dead, they told me you were dead!” panic began to creep into his voice as he stared in disbelief at the figure standing in front of him.

Jacob leaned close to the terrified man who seemed to be trying to escape into the folds of his chair. As if he pushed back into it hard enough it might swallow him and save him from this nightmare.

“They told you right old man,” Jacob whispered stepping back from his mark. “This is for Maria, do you remember her?” Jacob paused for a second “A nine year old you piece of shit, she was nine do you remember her or was she just another figure, another profit margin?” Jacobs’s hand was beginning to shake as he spoke, Donnie’s eyes were wide with fear and they were beginning to reflect the shock he was slipping into as a result of the injury.

Jacob settled his resolve and continued “This is for all the terrible things you’ve done, for the terrible things you may have done and for the only decent thing you have left to do” Jacobs voice dripped with anger “May god have mercy on your soul…because I won’t”.

The handgun lifted one last time and two shots thundered in the night…the bullets did not lie.