Kakashi's Test

Kakashi's Test


Part One


It was a beautiful, sunny day in the Hidden Leaf Village. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were waiting outside Ichiraku's for Kakashi. They had all gotten a letter from him telling them that they had a new mission. Everyone was excited, so they went there early. Kakashi came a couple hours late… as usual.
"Sorry I'm late, kids. I got lost on the path of life… again!" he said, reading his favorite book, Make-Out Paradise.
Nobody bought the lie, though. He always comes late and has the same excuse.
"Enough of the lies Kakashi-sensei! What's our new mission?! TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!!" yelled the impatient Naruto.
"Shut up, you idiot! It's too early for you to be annoying. We're still drowsy!" yawned Sasuke.
"Don't worry, Naruto. I was just about to," started Kakashi, "Your mission today is to take care of these two babies…"
He took out from behind his back two baby dolls. One was a girl, the other a boy. Nobody jumped for joy about this mission. Sakura, being the know-at-all that she, raised her hand to ask a smart question.
"Um, Kakashi-sensei, why do we have to take care of these baby dolls? We did this when we were students in the Ninja Academy. Why again?"
"DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, JUST DO IT!!" he yelled.
Sakura started to tear up. Kakashi noticed this and quickly tried to make her feel better.
"…Sorry about that," he started, "You just ask too many questions, Sakura!"
Sakura slumped in depression. Sasuke raised his hand soon after.
"Master Kakashi, why are there only two of those… those THINGS… when there are three of us?" he asked.
Kakashi just let out a long sigh and viewed another chapter of his book. It was starting to get good.
"Sharp as always, eh Sasuke?" answered Kakashi, "You're right. There is a reason for this, and a good one at that. One of you will be paired with another team member. The last one will take care of theirs alone."
"I hope I get paired up with Sasuke!" whispered Sakura.
"I'm sooo too cool and good-looking for this. I hate babies. This better be over soon…" whispered Sasuke.
"Just another mission I will be better than Sasuke at! Hah! Sakura will finally love me for my caring nature! And soon, we could start a family of our own!" whispered Naruto.
The other teammates heard him, though. He whispered it a bit too loud…
Kakashi went on with the directions for the mission.
"The two ninja I will pair up for this mission will be… Naruto and Sakura."
"SAY WHAT?!!" yelled Sakura.
"YEEEEEEEEESSSS!!" yelled Naruto.
"Oh.. By the way… If you ever need any help with your dolls, call me on my cell. Okay? Oh. One more thing. If you do call me, you immediately fail, and will never be ninjas again!"
"Why would we need your help? They're just baby dolls." snickered Sasuke, "This'll be a peice of cake..."
Kakashi stared nervously at everybody as they stared at him, awaiting their answer.
"Uhhh… No reason…" he replied.
Everyone grabbed their baby and Kakashi left, leaving a cloud of smoke behind. Sakura and Naruto got the girl. Sasuke got the boy. Naruto started to ask Sakura how to hold a baby, but she ignored him and ran off twards Sasuke, who was now heading home.
"Wait up, Sasuke!" she giggled, skipping merrily.
Sasuke merely grunted and kept walking.
"So, um… Sasuke… Do you want to… oh, I don't know, maybe… let our kids have a play date while we have a real one?" she giggled.
Sasuke hesitated for a moment, then answered,"…No way in hell..."
Sakura slumped in depression again, and trudged slowly to Naruto, who was trying as hard as he could to hold the baby correctly. Of course, try as he might, in the end, he still couldn't get it right. Sakura walked up and took the baby away from him.
"I may be depressed, but at least I know how to hold a baby! You need to learn some caring nature!" she scolded, "I can't believe I got paired up with you!"
Naruto whined and started to walk to Ichiraku's for lunch. He didn't get three steps away when Sakura came running up to him.
"Oh, no you don't! I'm not taking care of this baby while you go off and eat!" she yelled, shoving the baby in his hands.
"OKAY!! OKAY!! I GET IT!!" yelled Naruto, stomping off to lunch with his "wife" and his "child".


Part Two


At Ichiraku's Naruto and Sakura were happily eating their lunch while the baby doll sat in a seat in between them. All of a sudden, the doll started TALKING!
"Give me what I want, NOW! If you won't... I will blow-up in FIVE HOURS!" it demanded.
It was the scariest message anyone has ever heard! As a matter of fact, it was SO scary, the old man and his daughter that worked there had to kick them out for endangering their other customers! Naruto was devastated. Sakura started crying. That made the day even MORE crappy.
"Sakura! Why the heck are you crying?! What the heck's wrong with you?!" yelled Naruto.
"S-Sasuke won't go o-out with me, I'm p-paired up w-with you, and now the doll's going to blow up if w-we don't figure out what it wh-wh-whaaantsss!!" she sobbed.
"But… I thought you knew EVERYTHING! Can't you just try different things until it DOESN'T blow up?!"
"I lied!!" she continued.
"OH NO!!" yelled Naruto, "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!"

10 minutes later…

"Okay… I think I'm better now…" sighed Sakura. The baby was still counting down the seconds until detonation. They now had 4:30 minutes left.
"We seriously need some help with this baby! How are we going to get it to stop counting down?" asked Naruto.
"Well, it's obvious we need a loving, caring person. One that loves children, and knows how to take care of them without any arguments or frustration…" answered Sakura.
"Where are we going to find someone like THAT?" asked Naruto.
"I know! Sasuke can do it!"
"SASUKE?!! He HATES babies! He's the EXACT opposite of whom you said we needed!" yelled, Naruto.
Sakura didn't hear him though. She was already on her way to Sasuke's house. She too had some doubts, but she thought that Sasuke would spend more time with her, so she did it anyways. Knowing he wasn't going to win the arguement, he sighed heavily and tagged along.

Later, at Sasuke's House…

"Sasuke! Open up! We need your help!" yelled Sakura.
There was no answer.
"I don't think he's home. Nobody is answering." said Naruto.
"Trust me. He's here. I come to his house all the time!"
So they went in.
For a moment, all was quiet. But then, there was a noise that came from Sasuke's room. Sakura and Naruto had never heard it before... there was, though, something familiar about the sound, though... Sakura dashed for Sasuke's room.
"SAAASSSUUUKKKEEE!!" she screamed.


Part Three


Sakura was in his bedroom faster than you could say "Orochimaru is super smexy". But she suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, dumbfounded at the sight in front of her. Naruto walked in behind her.
"Why did you stop, Sakura? Where's Sasuke?" he asked.
Then he stopped to stare, too. Both he and Sakura were staring in amazement now. The strange, never-before-heard sound was none other than Sasuke… LAUGHING!
"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!! Aren't you just the SWEETEST, CUTEST, most ADORABLE baby in the WHOLE WORLD?!!... Yes you are!! Yes you are!! ...Soon, you will grow up to be the hottest, smartest, coolest ninja in your age group! Just like ME!!" he giggled, bouncing the baby in his arms.
The baby was dressed in new clothing. It looked just like Sasuke's outfit. It even had a wig so that it looked exactly like Sasuke's hair.
Then he noticed that his teammates were behind him. Nobody said anything for a long while. Then Sasuke broke the ice.
He dropped the baby on the floor and kicked it, while yelling, "GET OFF ME, YOU… YOU INFANT THING!! I HATE YOU!! I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS MISSION IS OVER!!"
Naruto and Sakura were so astounded by Sasuke that they almost forgot about their baby's bomb issues.
"What are you guys doing here? Don't you have anything better to do than stalk me, Sakura?" he asked.
"For your information, Sasuke, we need help with our baby. It won't stop counting down until it blows up! We only have 4 hours and 10 minutes left!" she said in her matter-of-fact voice.
"…I can see that…" he replied, looking down at the baby.
"So you'll help us?!" asked Naruto.
"… Nope…" he replied, "To tell you the truth, I know absolutely nothing about babies. The only reason this one isn't doing anything is because Master Kakashi forgot to put in the stupid batteries…"
"THERE'S BATTERIES?!" yelled Naruto, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
"…I didn't feel like it…"
"OH, YOU DIDN'T, HUH?! DO YOU THINK THAT IF I BASHED IN YOUR HEAD IN, YOU'D REMEMBER?! HUH, HOT STUFF?!"
"…I'd like to see you try it…" snickered Sasuke.
"OH YEAH?! WELL HERE IT IS, SASUKE!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE A BLOODY ACCIDENT!! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT--"
Sakura jumped in front of Sasuke to protect him.
"NARUTO--!! IF YOU SO MUCH AS TOUCH ONE HAIR ON HIS PERFECT HEAD, YOU'VE HAD IT, YOU BASTARD!!" she yelled.
Everything calmed down after that.
"Okay… I think I'm cooled off now… Sorry Sasuke. I didn't mean what I said earlier…. Will you forgive me?" asked Naruto.
"…I guess so…" replied Sasuke, "… Besides…I knew Sakura would stop you… You just weren't manly enough to push her aside and fight like a real man… Not that you are a real man..."
"WHAT'D YOU JUST SAY TO ME, UGLY?!"
"Thanks for your help, Sasuke! Sorry, but we have to go! Bye!" said Sakura as she pulled Naruto and the baby out of Sasuke's house.
Since Sasuke couldn't help them, they decided to see Asuma. At least he was a grown-up. Surely HE could know a few things about babies. But when they stopped by his house, nobody answered. There was a note on the door that read: Do not disturb. I am with Kurenai at the moment. Come back tomorrow… maybe.
"That's just great! Now we need a DIFFERENT person to help us!" sighed Naruto, "I give up. Let's just call Kakashi. We could really use him right about now."
"Never! Didn't you hear you hear Kakashi-sensei? He said that if we call him, we could never be ninja again! It also means that you will never become Hokage… or worse… Sasuke won't like me because I'm not a shinobi on his level! We CAN'T call Kakashi-sensei!" said Sakura.
From the building they could see that Kurenai's Team was near the Ninja Academy. So they went to visit Team Six- Kiba, Hinata and Shino.


Part Four


Naruto and Sakura's trip to see team six wasn't pleasant at all… or at least not for Sakura…
Naruto and Sakura walked up to Hinata and Kiba.
"Oh, great! Naruto is here!" sighed Kiba, sarcastically.
"Oh…! N-N-Naruto-kun…! What are you doing here…?" muttered Hinata.
"Oh… Hi Hinata. We're having baby troubles. Do you think you could help us, seeing as you look like a great mother and all?" asked Naruto.
"… Oh… Um … Sure! A-Anything for you, Naruto-kun…! W-Where's the little bundle of joy…?... I bet it l-looks a lot like you…!" she said, 1/2 excitedly, 1/2 upset over the fact that Naruto had a kid and it wasn't hers.
Sakura walked up and showed Hinata the baby. Hinata took the baby, put it in Kiba's arms, and turned to look angrily at Sakura. Then she took off her jacket and got in her Clan Hyuga Style fighting position.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! ARE YOU MAD?! WHY DO YOU WAN'T TO FIGHT ME?!" yelled Sakura.
Hinata came running at her as fast as she could.
"…You… YOU TOOK NARUTO-KUN AWAY FROM ME!! PREPARE TO DIE BY MY GENTLE FIST TECHNIQUES, WITCH!!" she yelled, "I'M GOING TO FIGHT FOR HIM LIKE I SHOULD'VE DONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!! THAT BABY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!!
"HEY!! WAIT A MINUTE!! I DON'T LOVE NARUTO!! THIS ISN'T EVEN OUR REAL BABY!! I MEAN, REALLY!! JUST LOOK AT HIM!!I DON'T WANT TO HAVE A BABY WITH HIM!! I'M UNDERAGED FOR GOODNESS SAKES!!"
Hinata didn't listen, though. She just ran up and started beating the crud out of Sakura. Kiba just sighed and walked up to Naruto.
"It must be really nice to have two girls fight over you." he said, "This must happen often."
"…Not really…" answered Naruto.
Sakura held on to Naruto's foot as Hinata tried to pull her back.
"PLEASE NARUTO! CALL HINATA OFF! SHE'LL LISTEN TO YOU!" screamed Sakura as Hinata finally yanked her away from Naruto.
"GET BACK HERE, SCAREDY CAT!! IT'S NOT MUCH OF A FIGHT IF YOU RUN AWAY!! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE HAPPY TO FIGHT FOR YOUR MAN!! OH… WAIT… DID I SAY HE WAS YOUR MAN?!... I MEAN MINE!!" screamed Hinata.
Naruto thought about that for a minute. He never actually had two girls fight over him before. He didn't want it to end so quickly.
"HURRY UP!! SHE'S PULLING OUT HER KUNAI AND SHURIKIN!!" yelled Sakura.
Naruto didn't want Sakura to get hurt too badly, so he called Hinata off and told her the truth about why they had the baby.
"Oh… Well then… This is kinda embarrassing… so… What was the problem, again?" asked Hinata.
"Naruto told me that the baby needs something. If it doesn't get what it wants in less than 3 hours and 55 minutes left until it explodes. And they can't get help from their sensei, because if they do, they will fail the mission and will never become ninja again… Big deal… I say leave them to die…" sighed Kiba.
"NEVER!!" yelled Hinata as she slapped the mess out if Kiba.
Kiba shut up. Shino popped out of nowhere and said, "Babies usually want to be changed."
Naruto froze up.
"What's wrong, Naruto?" asked Shino.
"Its… it's just that… I wouldn't feel comfortable changing a GIRL baby. Can you do it for me, Sakura?" studdered Naruto.
Sakura sighed in aggravation.
"… Oh, alright…"
So Sakura changed the baby. They all waited to see if the baby would stop counting down to detonation. It didn’t. They now only had 3 hours and 30 minutes left until the baby blew up. Since Team six was no help, Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, Kiba and Shino went looking for Asuma's Team.


Part Five


They found Asuma's team inside of a restaurant, stuffing their faces… Even Ino. I guess you can imagine the look on her face when she saw Sakura and the others staring at her and all the food on her plate. There was almost as much food on her plate as there was on Chouji's plate!
"Ummm… This isn't what it looks like… I'm on a diet… I was just holding Chouji's food while he ate the other plate of food he has." lied Ino.
The others busted out in hysterics.
"…Yeah… right…" replied Kiba sarcastically.
After a couple of minutes, they all calmed down and stop laughing. Although from the very beginning, Sakura was video taping, and putting that embarrassing video of Ino on the World Wide Web.
"Sakura, what the heck do you think you're doing, putting that video on the internet? I'm going to kick your butt if you don't stop it RIGHT NOW!" yelled Ino.
"…Make me…" said Sakura as she clicked the SEND button on Youtube.
That was it for Ino. She grabbed Sakura by the hair, threw her on the ground, and body-slammed her. Then Sakura punched Ino off of her and ripped her clothes up with her kunai knife. All the guys were yelling and rooting them on. Shikamaru was video-taping the whole fight.
"Man! I'm glad I'm a character in Amanda's parodies! This is some good action!" yelled Shikamaru.
"Isn't video-taping too troublesome for a guy like you?" asked Choji.
"Not when there's a chick fight going on! Hey! You know what? I should get a mud pit! That way, they can rip off each other's clothes and wrestle!" replied Shikamaru as he sent the video to Youtube.
"I'll get it!" yelled Shino as he left to find some mud.
Hinata tried to break-up the fight the best she could.
"I HATE YOU, SAKURA!!" yelled Ino.
"WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?!! I HATE YOU EVEN MORE!!" snapped back Sakura.
"…P-please, guys… Please stop fighting…! Can't we all just g-get along…?" pleaded Hinata.
Ino and Sakura stopped fighting long enough to rip on Hinata.
"SHUT UP!! THE ONLY REASON YOU AREN'T FIGHTING IS BECAUSE YOU ARE A SHALLOW, FRAGILE LITTLE GIRL THAT CAN'T STAND UP FOR HERSELF, AND WILL NEVER GET THE MAN SHE LOVES BECAUSE SHE'S UGLY, FAT AND USELESS!!" yelled Ino.
"WHHHAAATTT?!!" yelled Hinata.
"THAT'S RIGHT!! OOOH… LOOK AT ME…I'M POOR, FRAGILE LITTLE HINATA…!! NEJI KICKED MY BUTT IN THE PRELIMINARIES AND MY FATHER THINKS I'M USELESS…!! I MAKE-OUT WITH ALL MY PICTURES OF NARUTO WHEN NOBODY'S LOOKING…!! yelled Sakura.
"H-HOW DID YOU KNOW I DID THAT?!!" yelled Hinata as she jumped into the fight, "YOU'RE ALL DEAD!!"
Sasuke saw the videos at his house on his computer, and knew that he was missing out, so he decided to come along on the journey. It wasn't long before they saw him come through the door. Sakura and Ino were freaking out.
"OH… MY GOSH!! IT'S SASUKE!! HE'S ACTUALLY HERE… RIGHT NOW!!" they screamed like love-crazed psychos.
"…Oh, please… You girls are sooo pathetic…" sighed Hinata.
"I'll help you up, Hinata. Here… give me your hand…!" said Naruto as he reached his hand out.
"OH… MY GOSH!! IT'S NARUTO!! HE'S ACTUALLY TALKING TO ME… RIGHT NOW!!" screamed Hinata like a love-crazed psycho.
Then she fainted.
"…Oh, please…" sighed Sakura and Ino, "And she says we're pathetic…?"
Shino arrived with sacs full of mud.
"Aw man…! The fight is over!" sobbed Shino.
"Don't worry, Shino. The video is on Youtube.com." said Shikamaru.
"SAY WHAT?!!" yelled the girls.
"…Nothing…" giggled Shikamaru as he ran behind Sasuke and Naruto for protection.
"…How much longer until the baby blows up…?" asked Sasuke.
"Oh my gosh! I totally forgot about that!" said Naruto.
"Only girls say totally. What's up with that?" asked Shikamaru.
"Really?... Oh… You know, I thought it was kinda cool."
"…Nope."
"Are you sure?"
"Yup."
"It sounds that silly?"
"Yes."
"…Not even a little--"
"ALRIGHT ALDEADY, JUST CHECK THE BABY!!" yelled Sasuke.
Shino grabbed the baby and checked the time.
"OH MY GOSH!! IT SAYS YOU ONLY HAVE 2 HOURS AND 20 MINUTES UNTIL THE BABY BLOWS UP!!" he yelled.
"INO!! QUICK!! WHAT DOES A BABY NEED?! I’m TOO COOL, SEXY And STRONG TO DIE!!" asked Sasuke.
"Um… How about some food?" asked Ino.
Choji ran to the store and bought 10 cans of baby food. When he returned, Ino opened one of he jars up and put some food in the baby's mouth. It spat it back out.
"It won't eat it! What do we do?" asked Shikamaru.
"I know!" said Sakura, "Let's get Tenten to help!"
"Why?" asked Sasuke.
"She's a girl… Now, let's go, everyone!"
"Sorry Sakura… We have to get back to our meal." Said Choji as he and his team sat back down and started stuffing their faces.
"…Yeah. And we need to get back to training… Bye" said Kiba as they left for the Ninja Academy.
So Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura went alone.


Part Six


They found Neji, Tenten and Lee hanging out at home. Lee was training as usual, Tenten was flirting with Neji, and Neji was Neji was ignoring them all by meditating. When Kakashi's team came up to them, Lee immediately noticed Sakura.
"Sakura…! Hi! Have you come to be my girlfriend?" asked Lee.
"No way!" said Sakura.
"Aw, man…"
"Anyways… Tenten…? Could you please help us with this baby? What do babies like?" asked Sakura.
"…Don't know… Try asking Neji." answered Tenten.
"Neji, what do babies like?" asked Sasuke.
"…Don't know…" Neji answered, "…Ask Lee… "
"Lee, what do babies like?" asked Naruto.
"They usually like one person more than another… Which one does she like best? Does she like you, Sasuke, Sakura, or your sensei, Kakashi?" answered Lee.
Sakura held the baby and said some kind words to it. Nothing happened. Then Naruto tried the same thing. That didn't work either. Sasuke was the last to try. When he held it, it cried, but it didn't stop getting ready to blow up. That only left one person… Kakashi-sensei… And they only had 30 minutes to find him!

Meanwhile… 29 minutes later… at Kakashi's house…

Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto knocked on Kakashi's door. He opened the door, and a large object knocked him down. Then the door closed. Kakashi looked down and saw that the object was one of the babies.
"Whew! I guess they couldn't handle the mission. Oh well! It was originally my mission that Lord Hokage gave me. I'll just return it to him…"
Then he noticed a strange beeping noise. The beeps got faster and faster. Kakashi looked down at the baby.
"… Ho crud…"
BOOM!!!!!!!!!

The End