Two Birds One Boulder

Have you ever been betrayed? Do you know how it feels when someone you trust implicitly throws it back in your face? It feels like they’ve plunged their hands into your chest, pushed the air from your lungs and punched you in the heart. At least that’s how I felt the day I found one of my junior doctors in bed with my wife.

I arrived home early one day, you know the way it always is. Bunch of flowers in my hand and a smile on my face. It’s not often I get away early from the hospital but today was one of the few. I knew instantly something wasn’t right. I crept up the stairs; my breath held trying to convince myself that this was all unnecessary that everything was ok. I reached our half open bedroom door where my worst fears were confirmed. My wife was fucking James Bennet; riding him like a champion race horse, really throwing her hips into it loving every second. James was in his final year of a medical degree and one of the many trainee’s left in my charge at the hospital, and now he’s in my bedroom nailing my wife like the grade A slut she had become.

I couldn’t take it. I fled the house not leaving any evidence that I had ever been there. The images haunted me; filled my head. My mind fabricated other images, worse ones; my imagination went wild. My memory was nearly full of these disgusting images and I could do nothing but think about it. I finally threw up all over the passenger seat in my car. She could never know that I know though. I couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving me, but they had to pay!

The following day I gathered my gang of eager students (Bennet included) before morning rounds.

“As you all know the hospital is required by law to screen it’s workers for disease. I have been informed this morning that you all need to give me your blood samples today” This of course was not strictly true. I had brought the screening forward by a month to serve my own purpose. “so if you could all take a seat the lovely nurse Lopez and I will take your blood samples and send them off to the path lab this morning” I continued watching the six students split into two groups of three.

Once done I personally escorted the samples down to the pathology lab where my good buddy Mike works.

“Hey Mikey! How’s it goin’?” 

“Not bad man. Not bad. Watcha got for me?”

“Coupla blood samples from the med students for their annual screening” I responded knowing it was unscheduled

“They’re not due for a few weeks!”

“Yeah I know but I brought it forward cus a couple of them have vacation time coming up”

“Sure no sweat man. Stick ‘em in the cooler I’ll get onto ‘em after lunch”  He replied. I plodded over to the cold storage area and placed the test tube rack in closing the door and leaving.

Mid afternoon Mike found me in the corridor near ward 4.

“Got your test results everyone is A ok apart from one guy, Bennet. We need to get him re-tested NOW!”

“Let me see.” I said motioning towards the paper he was clutching. “Oh! Ok! I’ll have another sample for you within the hour.” I blurted out with a sense of fake urgency and surprise.

I paged Bennet and took him to my office.
“I don’t know how to tell you this Bennet, but your sample tested positive for HIV. I need another sample from you right now to run another set of tests.”

“Wha, what! How! I. I don’t understand” The look on his face was priceless

“Look just calm down and give me another sample. There is every chance that your original sample may have been contaminated. Try not to worry until we have the results of the second test.” I could have won an oscar for the caring act I was putting on right now.

I took his blood and headed for the door. “you cant leave my office until these results are back.” I told him before disappearing out of the door and heading for the pathology lab. Once again I switched Bennet’s Sample for the HIV Positive one and dropped it off with Mike.

“I’m gonna need that back ASAP.” I told him. “Lets not leave that poor kid hanging any longer than we have to.”

I returned to my office and sat with Bennet. Waiting for the call from mike. Then the phone rang. I put on my best poker face and answered it.

“Yeah it’s me.” Mike said as I answered the phone. “It’s a definite. Your guy has AIDS”

“Really? Ok I’ll tell him.” I replaced the receiver and fixed Bennet with my most convincing “concerned” stare “I’m sorry Bennet the result is positive.” He broke down and cried like a baby and I loved every fucking second of it. “You need to contact any recent sexual partners and tell them to come in for testing immediately.”  The look he gave me was priceless.

“Ok I’ll get on it now.” He muttered sniffing and weeping like a little girl. Yeah that’s right ass hole feel my pain! See how you like it! He got up from his chair and left my office.

When I returned home that night I could tell that my wife Karen had been crying, but she put on an incredibly brave face. He’d told her already! Now if I was in her position the first two things I’d do would be arrange for a test and tell him to go fuck himself. So I think it was safe to assume that Bennet was now out of the picture.

“Hey gorgeous. How was your day?” I asked her, snaking my arm around her waist and pecking her on the forehead.

“Oh ok.” she replied doing her best to keep the brave face.

“You look as though you’ve been crying. What’s wrong?” I knew full well what was wrong; but if I had to play my part in this little charade.

“Oh nothing. I just watched Armageddon again and you know how teary it makes me. I think I’m gonna go upstairs and take a shower.”  This was even better than I had expected, as much as I love her she needed to be punished, and fear is the best way I can think of. I waited a few minutes and snuck upstairs, got undressed and quietly crept into the shower behind her as we quite frequently did to one another.

“Holy shit! You gave me the fright of my life.” she said then started laughing. I pressed my body close to her back and slid my arms around her smooth wet skin and began to fondle her ample breasts. She gave ma a small moan of approval as we had a very active sex life (hers more active than mine in recent weeks); it was very rare that one of us passed up the opportunity for sex and our favourite place was the shower. Leaning her forward slightly I tried to enter her from behind.

“NO!” She screamed the look of shear terror on her face was alarming, almost as if it were an intruder in the shower with her.

“What! What’s wrong?” I quizzed her.

“Oh no we can’t.” She replied. The expression on her face softening slightly “I’m on my period.” She explained, so I pretended to be satisfied by this and vacated the shower.

The following day I called Bennet into the hospital for a meeting. And motioned for him to take the seat opposite me when he entered my office.

“Bennet. I need to talk to you about this HIV thing.”

“Sure go ahead.” He muttered, like a truly broken man. He had dark black rings around his eyes telling me he hadn’t slept.

“You don’t have HIV.”  His eyes lit up at this news.

“Did you do a re-test or something?” He asked not really caring whether or not I had.

“No. I switched you blood with an HIV positive sample twice yesterday.”

”WHAT! You mother fuc..” I cut him off.

“Listen to me now and listen very carefully you jumped up little shit!” I had his attention “I know you have been fucking Karen and I know she now thinks she’s HIV positive. She hasn’t told me but I know!”

“I’m gonna report you to the chief of medicine! Your not gonna get away with this!”

“WHAT! What are you planning to tell him? That you; a fourth year med student; have been fucking the wife of one of the most senior doctors on the staff here? And that as revenge I tampered with your blood sample so that it tested positive for HIV?”

“Your damned right I am!”

“Let me tell you how that little plot will turn out. Firstly they would look into your story, you know check the samples etc, and they would look at my exemplary record and put it down to a lab error, as I am a senior and trusted physician here in this hospital. Then you would be booted out of here for your actions with my wife, and a really nasty report written up about you making sure you NEVER work in medicine.” He’d certainly piped down now the anger replaced by fear. I continued. “If you don’t believe me you go right ahead and do it!”

“So now what.” He muttered

“Ill tell you! Firstly you never contact Karen again EVER! Not even to tell her your in the clear; she’ll find that out her own time. Secondly you leave here and never come back, I’ve already arranged for a transfer for you to finish your training as a missionary in Botswana with a buddy of mine. He’s looking forward to working with someone as talented as I have told him you are. Thirdly you never breathe a word of this to anyone. If you break any of those conditions the next HIV positive blood sample I come across will end up coursing through your veins. Are we clear?”

“Crystal” He snapped as he stood to leave.

“Oh and Bennet?” I called him back.

“What?”

“Be careful in Africa. AIDS is rife out there!”

Even though I had my revenge on both of them I’m not sure how I actually felt about it. My memory was still nearly full of them together; but one thing was for sure; I had killed two birds with one exceptionally large boulder.