Petey

I heard yelling from the living room: today was one of Petey's bad days.

A scream, and then there was silence...almost. Reaching out from the silence was whimpering, then whispered mutters, as if a chant.

With a sigh I turned up the volume on my walk-man. This was hardly something new.

Maybe I should explain. Once upon a time, there was a happy, American family. One working dad, a stay-at-home mom, and two teenagers, an obedient daughter, and a well-adjusted son. However as time went on, things started to change with the son, where he got less adjusted and more strange. He began to become wild yet at the same time depressed. Creative, yet at the same time, dull. The parents did not know how to handle this new son. They wondered what happened to their perfect, little lives. They sent him to numerous forms of therapy until he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He was pulled out of the of the school year and kept in at home. 1

This is where my family is today. My parents are constantly distraught over the sake of my brother. I am always annoyed by the neglect I receive and the crap my brother pulls. Meanwhile, Petey is off in his own little world, thinking god-knows-what.

This has been going on for about two months now. And I am sick of it. Everyday, Petey pulls some stupid stunt. Everyday, our whole family has to cater to all his needs. Some days I scream at him, "Shut up and take your stupid meds!!"...on some days he laughs, on some days he cries.

****

It was a hot Saturday. We were going to go to the zoo, another stupid idea of Petey's. I guess my parents figured he needed some fresh air. He hadn't really gone anywhere in a long while. 2

Once we got there, I knew this day was going to be anything but fun. Petey got so excited at the tiger pit, and started jumping up and down. People started to stare as they walked I by, looking at the spectacle of a fifteen year old boy, making a fool of himself. I walked over to another attraction, pretending to be with another family.

"Elise, look at the tigers!! Do you see the tigers? Aren't they so fierce? You know I sometimes wish I had a pet tiger. Wouldn't that be cool? But I guess that's pretty impractical if you think about it. I mean what would you feed it? Yourself??? Hahahaha, only a mental person would do that right? Hey, Mom! Dad! Let's go buy some ice cream!." Petey practically screamed across the whole zoo, and I cringed. If only, if only...

"Of course, let's go buy some ice cream." My mom had her cookie-cutter smile, and cheerful demeanor. But I could see the strain in her eyes, the slight blush of embarrassment. My dad just looked away as he was prone to doing these days.3

Petey practically ran to the ice cream stand. We rushed up to him, not wanting to risk having him out of our sight. Petey wanted a sherbet cone.4

"Sorry, we're all out of sherbet right now." The ice cream lady looked apologetic. 5

"Um, but I want sherbet." Petey whined. My mom and dad exchanged looks.6

"How about rocky road, you love that flavor Petey." My mom's voice was soothing and quiet. 7

Petey's bottom lip quivered like it did when he was a kid. "No, I hate rocky road, why would you think I like it? I want sherbet, why is that such a bad thing to ask for?"8

"Honey, it's just that they're-" 9

Petey cut her off, "I don't care! I don't care! I want sherbet! Why doesn't anyone ever give me what I want???" He was causing a scene by now. The lady looked alarmed. My dad and I exchanged looks. 10

"Petey, how about we leave the zoo, and we go to an ice cream shop. Where they have every flavor?" My mom tried desperately to appease him. 11

Petey shook his head. "I refuse to budge until this lady gives me my fricking ice cream." 12

Mom started to tug his arm, "Let's just go, Charles, help me." Both my parents pulled Petey away from the stand and he immediately began to scream. Some teenagers passing by, tittered and pointed. How rude, I thought automatically, but I knew I would have done the same if I was one of them. 13

We drove home in silence. My mom doled out a sleeping pill to Petey, he wasn't allowed to handle medicine by himself. He was soon dozing peacefully. I glared at him with resentment. What an asshole, why can't he just be normal?14

***15

The following Tuesday, my parents decided to go visit some friends for the evening. Petey was left in my care.16

Once they left, he was bouncing off the walls. He kept asking me if we could have a party, isn't that what everyone did when their parents were out?17

I shook my head no and told him to leave me alone. I locked myself in my room and figured I would leave Petey to his own devices. 18

I put on the headphones to my walk-man and turned on an AC-DC song to the highest volume. I needed to clear my head of a lot of shit.19

After a few hours, as I took off my walk-man to turn in for the night. I heard a loud thump from the backyard. 20

"Petey? What are you doing down there?" I went out to investigate. Petey lay on the floor at an awkward angle, directly below the balcony. 21

I screamed loudly, "Omg!!! What the hell have you done?" 22

I dialed for an ambulance, and then my parents. Petey was soon rushed to the hospital. 23

My parents and I sat anxiously in the waiting room. I glanced over at my parents a couple times. My mom's face was like stone. My dad was just as cold. 24

Finally the doctor came out and gave us the diagnosis.25

"Well, the damage is pretty serious. He has suffered a cracked rib, concussion, and broken arm."26

My mom made a sharp intake of breath.27

"But he seems to be up and in his senses once more. You can go in and see him now."28

We went in to see him. Petey was propped up, and looking out the window. My parents asked the basics, of how he was feeling and such. Petey seemed quite calm while he answered them. But I noticed that my parents didn't ask the most crucial thing. Why did he jump?29

A nurse came in and beckoned my parents to come talk to the doctor once more. I sat down on the edge of Petey's bed.30

Petey looked up and smiled at me, "Gave you a scare huh?"31

"You don't even know, you asshole." I didn't talk to him for a few moments, but then my curiosity gave in, "So, why did you do it?"32Petey turned his head, "Failed attempt to fly..." He paused, "I just got this feeling that today was a day for something special. Like I could do anything. It was like, I wanted to break free from everything I know."

I cocked an eyebrow, "Sounds like you've been cooped up at home for too long."33

Petey chuckled, "Maybe, or maybe it was just a better alternative."34

I didn't ask what he meant by that.35

***36

The next day I found out. 37

I got home from school to find that the house was strangely quiet. 38

"Anyone home?" I called out to a seemingly empty house. I checked out in the backyard.39

My parents were gardening and fixing the rose bed. 40

"Hey, I'm home! Where's Petey?" I called out to them.41

"Did you have a good day, honey? I made some cookies, they're in the oven. Your brother should be upstairs." My mom seemed to be in a better mood today.42

It was unusual for Petey to be quiet but I accepted that today was a good day for everyone. 43

I went upstairs to put my stuff up and I heard the sound of running water, that's Petey, I thought with some measure of affection. My mom always tells him that he runs up our water bill. 44

But after a few minutes, I banged on the door, "Hey, other people need to use the bathroom too!" He had been in there for quite a while now, what was his problem? I tried the doorknob, of course it was locked. "Hey! Don't ignore me, open up in there! Jeezus, you take forever!"45

There was a steady flow of sink water and that's when I started to think something was up. "This isn't funny Petey, will you please open up?" There was a hint of desperation in my voice now. The only sound in the bathroom was that of water, no other movement, nothing. This was weird for a boy who was usually so loud. I banged on the door with both fists, but there was still no reaction. 46

I learned this trick as a once-latchkey kid to open locks with cards. I ran back to my room for my library card and came back to work on the door. I slid the card up a ways, and heard the satisfying click. "Okay Petey, game over..." I stopped short.47

Petey was sprawled on the bathroom floor with his back to the tub. He had a cup in his hand, a bottle of sleeping pills in the other. The stupid bastard had stolen the pills from where mom hid it. Stupid boy...48

Trembling, I sank to the ground and inched toward him, every second, waiting for him to open his eyes and say it was all a joke. But deep inside I knew the truth.49

I reached his body, held his face in my hands. This boy who had been such a burden to me, such an embarrassment...had he always hated himself as much as I had hated him?50

But I hadn't really hated him at all did I??? No, I could never hate my own brother... 51

I sat next to him and eased his head into my lap. Sleep Petey, sleep, the bright morning is just a blink away. 52