General Missive From the Edge of Worlds

General M---, as his private yacht
Was sinking into
The unfathomable depths
Of empty space and the
Places in between,

To the one remaining
Sheet of paper in his log,
Though he only had the margins left,
Dictated as follows.
Let you mark—

Compute:
Five hollow apples--
The fruit of an unknown tree--
Right.
Add in three birds that perched there
On their way to Oklahoma, and
OK,
I have the answer:
There are only so many ways to die,
But I eight them anyway--
It made me happy.

Respond:
Describe the ethicality
Of sending hulahoops
As gifts to zoos
For the orangutans
To entertain young children with
And to eliminate the need
For much equipment in their cages
When their grandfathers made do
With paltry items
Such as trees and open space.
What are your thoughts?

Touched in the head:
If two trains leave their stations
Diametrically opposed,
At the same moment and
One much faster than the first,
At what moment will the
Passengers first learn
That they are dead
Because they have collided?

Riddle me this, stinker:
Based on the laws of
Physical perspective
In the act of falling,
If I jumped off of a building
Would I move,
Or would the ground reach up
Ten stories
Just to pluck me from the ledge?
And then, what is an edge?

Debate:
Do I know that I am real
Because you think that you are too?
Discuss.

The Key:
No one will ever know--
The General hit bottom.